


Until The Day I Die | s.w | 2

by gunmercforhire



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 82,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunmercforhire/pseuds/gunmercforhire
Summary: "Do you listen to anything? Ever?"I didn't hesitate to answer him. "No."-Sometimes the people who you've come to know and trust, turn out to be worse than the undead in many ways.-[COMPLETED]oc × Shane Walsh.TWD - [post] season 3 +2018 @gunmercforhire





	1. If Walls Could Talk

《Lillian's POV》

Imagine this: you're desperately trying to escape a town that has been infested by Mercenaries, who care about no one other than themselves, and you're almost home free, until your partner gets shot and you get knocked in the back of your head with a pistol.

That would suck, wouldn't it? Well, now imagine how I feel, because it just happened to me.

As my eyes slowly opened, I tried to grab sight of where I was at. There wasn't much to remember. only that Shane had been shot by a Mercenary and left to bleed out and die while Walkers made their way toward him.

I stood up slowly, watching through a locked fence as a man sat on top of a table and sharpened his knife. He looked up, scanning my facial expression before hopping down from the counter top.

I took a step backward, hitting the wall as my nerves began to ache as he leaned against the fence with a shit-eating grin on his face. I grimaced at him, realizing he was just a puppet and not the real guy who had caught me.

"Glad you're awake. Must be hungry, right?" He walked away for a minute, giving me the chance to look around the dim room. My head was pounding, which made me feel even worse about the situation I had gotten myself into.

The room was almost empty, except for a stack of chairs and some old books on a desk to the left of where I stood completely still.

He then came back, a tray of meat and a cup of water in his hands. The man bent down, sliding them under the fence for me. I didn't move a muscle, but kept my gaze on him the entire time. I had to be careful with these guys.

"I'm not gonna hurt you."

"That's funny, because you fucking knocked me unconsious."

"I had a reason for that."

I was silent, my eyes glancing toward the tray of food. I wasn't hungry, thankfully, or the plate would probably have been gone by now. 

My brain then suddenly clicked, and I quickly lunged toward the fence, grabbing onto the chains surrounding me.

"The man I was with, you shot him. Is he gonna be okay? Did you leave him too?" My mind was racing as I began to think of different scenarios that could have happened. I stared ahead at the strange man who didn't seem to want to answer my questions, and started to dodge them one by one.

I slammed my hand on the fence, raising my voice at him to show some sort of assertiveness with him. At that point I was completely pissed off at the world, and had no problem taking it out in these assholes.

"Hey, shithead, did you hear me!?" I yelled, banging my fist on the gate simultaneously to get his attention. As I was about to scream again, another man strolled into the room, a gun in his hand and a smile on his face.

He watched silently for a second, standing near the other man in the room.

I rolled my eyes, looking toward him with daggers stabbing through my eyes. We kept eye contact with eachother, until he pushed passed the first person who had greeted me.

"Well, lookie here. Who's this?" 

"Sir, this is the girl who killed our men at the outpost."

"This is the person?" He began to laugh. "She looks like she can barely take care of herself." 

"Hey, fuck you!" I spat, letting go of the fence angrily as he whistled at my outburst.

"What's her name?" The second man asked, making the other shrug his shoulders. He then looked over to me. "What's your name?"

"Why the fuck would I tell you?" I asked, crossing my arms. They would be wasting their time by asking stupid questions. 

"Names Virgil." He told me, pointing toward the exit as the other man walked out of the room without another word.

After he left, Virgil picked up his gun and aimed it at my head, causing my whole body and blood to run cold. Nevertheless, I stood my ground and tried to fight back the terrified look my face wanted to give out to him.

"What's your name so I know who the fuck killed my men." Virgil's smile faded and was replaced with a serious look. Something that creeped me out to the max.

"Lillian. As if it's your business."

"Actually, it fuckin' is. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I've lost at least ten men today trying to find you. Not including the ones you killed."

"My partner, is he dead?" I rested my head on the fence before closing my eyes, taking a deep breath. It couldn't be true, not completely. My heart dropped as he waited to answer.

"Not sure." Virgil shrugged, keeping the gun on my head as we conversed even more. He seemed to have no empathy for me, which didn't bother me at all, considering the feeling was mutual.

"Find out and I'll tell you what you want to know." 

"You're in no fuckin' position to be ordering me around." Virgil gritted his teeth, tightening his grip on the gun he held up to the fence.

"Then fucking shoot me." I snapped, trying to act tough, which caused a small smile to form on his face once again.

Virgil slowly took the gun away from my head, taking a second to laugh at what I had said.

"You've got some balls, I'll give you that." He grabbed onto a metal chair and slid it across the concrete floor to where it was in front of the fence. Virgil kept his gaze on me, making me uncomfortable with the dead silence in the room. Then my anxiety had begun to make my heart burn.

"What do you say, coming to work for me?" He finally spoke. I almost wanted to laugh at him for saying that. But he was completely serious, which did make me laugh. I had to grab onto the fence for support in case I fell over.

"Are you fucking with me?"

Virgil kept his smile, and suddenly stood up, kicking the chair across the room, sending chills up my spine as the metal legs scraped across the ground, giving me goosebumps.

"There's a place for you here, as long as you're willing to be a citizen. You've survived this long, haven't you? Must be good on your own."

"Safety is in numbers. I wasn't always alone."

"That so?" Virgil raised his eyebrow, looking down at me with a grin. I rolled my eyes, growing bored with our conversation.

"Look, I'd love to tell you my life story, but I have places to be if you haven't noticed."

"So do I, yet I'm taking time out of my goddamn day to talk to a little shit like you."

"What a fucking waste. Right? You could be out killing random strangers, maybe shooting Walkers for fun."

Virgil nodded his head, growing angry the more he stood in the empty room talking to me alone. If not for the fence between us, he most likely would have strangled me to death by now.

I backed up from the fence and sat on the cold, concrete floor before flipping Virgil off. I was angry, but he just laughed and brushed it off.

"If you want to see your friend again, you should take my offer. If not, I'll go back to that shitty town and shoot him in the head myself. Your call, Lillian." 

Virgil turned to walk away, intending to leave the conversation on that cliffhanger. He still held the gun in his hand, his footsteps echoing with every step he took towards the door.

I scrambled to get on my feet before he could leave completely. I grabbed onto the fence, shaking it to get his attention. The rusted wires were chipping in my hands as I held on tightly to it. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but there was no way I'd let him kill Shane. Even if he was bluffing, I didn't want to take any chances.

"Wait! Wait..." I called out, instantly regretting that I had said anything. Virgil stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at me, a big smile on his face.

"That's my girl." Virgil mumbled to himself. My gaze fell to the floor as he held the gun to my chest, unlocking the gate between us. He fiddled with a ring filled with at least ten keys, all leading to different things in the place I was being kept in.

He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me out of the cage, a pistol to the back of my head as we made our way towards the door. There was literally no turning back, and now this was my fate at hand. If only I could go back in time and change something; anything at least.

On the inside, I hated myself for being so stupid to get caught by a Mercenary. But I couldn't show that, or else I'd look suspicious and untrustworthy.

That's all there was left to do now; gain the trust of Virgil, and I had a few ideas on how to do that exactly, but first I needed him to let his guard down even a smidge.


	2. Empty

《Shane's POV》

Consciousness only made my abdomen hurt even worse, especially since it was an instant pain. A burning sensation was oozing from the wound in my side that had been stitched up. I lifted up the bloodied, torn shirt to look at the bruised gunshot protruding from my ribs.

I groaned, trying to sit up on the bed without making my wound any worse than it already was. The searing pain was constant, but that didn't stop me from standing up.

I began to rub my tired eyes, trying to get a clearer sight at what was in front of me. The room was empty of people, but I learned that I had been resting in the room Lillian and I had been staying in for a few days.

I stood up, almost toppling over before grabbing at the side of my body to keep pressure on the wound. I grabbed onto the bed frame in order to keep my balance, and started to walk towards the door across the room. It was like walking up a hill while on a scooter. It wasn't exactly easy, but it was doable.

The town was completely silent, except for occasional groans and snarls of different Walkers that had been drawn in because of the gunfire. They dragged their feet, creating tracks in the blood stained ground outside the window beside me.

I creaked opened the door slowly, trying to take a sneak peek of the hall before venturing any further into unknown territory. I had no idea who, or what, could be lurking outside just waiting to get their hands on me. There could be more men on patrol outside, or maybe they had all gone.

Before I could step out of the hall completely, a man yelled from behind me, making me jump slightly. I turned around and grabbed at my side omce again as it began to throb with the sudden movement.

"Shane," it was the Governor. He seemed quite happy that I had finally woke up, and was still alive for that matter. "Take it easy."

We met halfway down the hall in order to talk, in the case that any other walkers were roaming the streets and could overhear us somehow. That was the last we needed.

"Where's Lillian?"

"Now, I-I don't exactly know, but-"

"Where the hell did they take her!?"

I felt like I was losing my sanity slowly, and all that I had cared about at the moment was finding Lillian in one piece, and alive. I fucking hated that there was nothing I could do in order to save her, but even so I'd need information if we were to go on some sort of rescue mission for her.

The Governor had been staring blankly, trying to calm me down the best to his abilities at the moment.

"Come with me."

I was reluctant. I still didn't fully trust this man, which was perfectly understandable. We had only met a few days ago. I mean, Lillian and I had only met a few months ago, and I still didn't know if I could trust her.

What am I saying? Of course I could trust her. We've gotten this far together, thankfully, and she hasn't backstabbed me yet.

"While you were unconscious, one of my men had managed to capture one of the Mercenaries. He hasn't talked much, and I want to bring you in there. By yourself. He's tied up, its okay."

"You think that's a good idea?"

"I think its a great idea. You can get some work done."

We had stopped in front of a metal door, which creeped me out considering it looked as if it was some sort of torture chamber. But once I had opened the door, the inside was almost completely empty, except for a table and two chairs; one of which had a man tied up. It made my blood run cold thinking about what else this room was used for.

He had a smirk on his face as I walked in, closing the door loudly behind me to get his attention.

"You here to kill me?" The captured man asked. He didn't seem to care about what happened to him, which was completely fine with me. I couldn't give a damn less about what he thought.

"Damn, I wish." I walked across the room and finally sat in a chair across from the captured man, wincing with pain as it seared through my torso. I quickly bounce back from the wound and leaned back in the chair, staring ahead of me at the beat up man.

There was no certain idea what was going through the Mercenaries' mind at that moment as he stared directly into my own eyes. I sighed a leaned forward, whispering to him.

"I'm gonna ask you once, nicely. Where are you guys stationed? Where'd they take that girl?"

"Fuck you. I'm not tellin' you shit."

There was a slight pause, until I stood up quickly. I grabbed a small knife from my pocket I always kept with me and opened it up. The blade shined brightly as the sun drew through the window, reflecting off of the silver it was built from.

"Last chance."

"Fuck. You."

I began to laugh, nodding my head. In a swift move, I brought my arm downward and stabbed the hostage in the thigh twice, leaving the knife in his leg as a souvenir of sorts. The mercenary screamed out, cussing at the top of his lungs as blood began to ooze out of the wound. It began to drip onto the floor, which was a sight to see.

If I wanted to make a point to him, to show how deep of shit he had gotten himself into, I had to be tough and mean. Especially since he helped track us down and knocked Lillian and I unconscious.

Every second that passed,my whole body ached as I feared what they were doing to her at that moment. She could still be unconscious, or dead, or being beaten and tortured. Thinking about it only made me feel worse.

It was hard to admit to myself, but I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I had begun to fall in some sort of trap she had unknowingly set up. That trap was called attraction, and love.

If I didn't find Lillian, and something bad happened to her, I couldn't possibly live with myself. I practically promised her the day we left that I would look out for her no matter what.

"Fuck, man, Okay! I'll tell you what you want to know! Get this knife out of my leg! Goddammit!"

I smiled wearily, sitting back down in the empty chair as he began to sort things out. Where they were located, who was working there, and why they wanted Lillian in the first place.

"We're over on I-95. Where we burned that big camp, and took it over after the fires died down and everyone left. We cleaned it up - and Virgil saw her. She was helping people get out of the flames, helping them escape y'know? He...he thought she was perfect."

"Perfect for what?" I was getting more pissed off at every word that came out of his mouth.

"I don't know, really. That's all he said! He wanted to track her down, and then he did..."

"What kind of sick fuckin' pervert is this guy? Huh? What's he going to do with her?"

I just continued talking, trying not to think about anything in depth before I broke this guys neck out of an anger impulse. He shook his head back and forth as fast as he could without giving himself whiplash.

"I-I-I-I don't know, he's the leader and if we said something to him we'd get shot-"

"Shut up." I stopped him. My mind was racing with different things, all of which made me extremely angry and upset. He watched me, sitting completely still so his leg would stop hurting too badly.

"I-95? Burned buildings? Give me more details."

"Uh, okay, there's fences all around it. Huge ones we salvaged from the flames-"

"I don't want a goddamn history lesson I want details on what this place looks like."

"Huge fences, always people on look out. Guards are thinner at night, there's at least twenty different cars parked outside. There's a giant concrete building in the back where he's keeping her. That's the place he stays too,"

I stared at the floor as he went into more details. I had heard enough and slammed my fist on the table to make him shut up again. He jumped, but it worked.

"Much obliged." I stood up from my chair and began to walk away. I leaned down and pulled the knife from his thigh, making him scream again, and this time he was louder than before. His leg was bloody again, but I had more important things to worry about.

The Governor was waiting for me outside once I finished interrogating. I slammed the metal door behind me and looked to him.

"I know where she is. I've gotta go, now."

"You're in no shape to leave by yourself. You know how many people are there? How fast you'll get shot, killed, and that would be your only chance at saving her."

"You got a better idea, prick?" He jumped at my usage of words, but recovered quickly. He didnt seem to care what I had called him.

"I don't. I can't spare anyone here, I'm sorry. It's too risky."

"I'm going to get her." I said sternly, "So, help me, or get the hell out of my way."

He didn't say anything to me, but he stepped aside from in front of my body. I stared directly at him, walking away down the hall to get the guns from the room we stayed in.

"You're signing your own death certificate!" The Governor yelled after me, which made me stop abruptly.

I turned around to look at him with an angry expression.

"I got another thing for you - you got an actual fucking name? No way I'm calling you "the governor" the rest of my life."

He watched silently, then finally nodded his head at me. I waited for an answer, then he finally spoke up loud enough for me to hear.

"The name's Phillip."

"See ya' later, man."

"Shane, hold on."

I sighed, turning back to him. He began to dig in his pocket, and grabbed a pair of keys before he threw them my way. I held up my hands, catching them in my palm.

"There's a truck out front. Use it."

"Thanks." I nodded, opening the hallway door, walking away from him.

I had no idea how I was going to save Lillian, but I had to at least try. Being the moron she is, she'd probably try to save someone the way I was about to.

Whether it would be me or not was a different question that I couldn't answer.


	3. Anxious Melodies

Virgil was holding onto my arm tightly, making sure I had no chance to escape his grasp. I had begun to stare ahead of him, watching as he opened the door to another room. He pushed me inside.

"Sit down, over there." He ordered, locking the door behind him with the set of keys on his belt, in case I tried anything to get out.

I didn't protest. What else could I even do at this point? Nothing. I was trapped inside of a room with a freaky man, who I hated with a deep passion.

Virgil smiled at me, taking a seat in the chair across from me. I crossed my legs, narrowing my eyes at him with a cold, blank expression. He stared right back, giving me a smirk.

"I wanna talk business." I had finally said after moments of silence from both of us. Virgil laughed, nodding his head slightly.

"Is that so?" He sat up in the chair, picking up his pistol as a precaution. I acted like I thought nothing of it, letting my eyes wander toward the window and outside of the building.

Outside there were at least twenty men and women, all conversing while the sun went down. It would be dark in an hour, which gave me the perfect idea.

"Yeah. I want to go back to the place I was, before your guys snatched me up."

"That place is done for, let me tell ya'. Corpses everywhere, puddles of blood. A real mess."

My gaze fell to the floor as he explained what had happened. I tried tuning it out, and finally looked up at Virgil as he continued to talk to me. The details he described were awful, and I was practically sick to my stomach by the time he finished with his story.

"Why would you want to go back there?" Virgil gripped his gun, giving me a solemn look. I scoffed at him, rolling my eyes for the hundredth time.

"What kind of place do you have here? Maybe I'll stay, take up the work your men did before I put a bullet through their heads." I puckered my lips, and blew Virgil a sarcastic kiss.

"That's a lot of man power, and I have no doubt you'd be able to handle it." Virgil brushed off my sweet gesture, standing up to join me at the window.  
"Pretty nice town, isn't it?"

"So was Woodbury." I hissed, crossing my arms together tightly. Virgil nodded slowly, trying not to seem too vulnerable to me at first.

"Do you recognize anything here?" He turned to me, searching my face for some sort of emotion. I shook my head as he began to laugh out loud.

"Really? Nothing about this place seems familiar to you?"

I looked away from him and stared at the piles of burned wood in the roads, and the different buildings. Somehow the one I stood in seemed somewhat familiar to me, as if I've been inside before.

Then it hit me in the gut, where he had taken me now. I took a few steps back from the window and watched as he tapped his temple, grinning widely.

"Reinvented, isn't it? Much nicer now. More homie, don't you think?"

"You burned down my camp? Are you fucking serious?"

"Bingo baby."

My fists clenched tightly into a ball as they turned paper white with the pressure I was putting on my knuckles. I wanted to hit him so badly at that moment, and I'm pretty sure I would've if it wasn't for the fact that he had kept talking to me.

"At first it was just another outpost, but after the trees behind us burned down, there was so much more open space. I just had to build it up."

"There's more places? More outposts?" I asked, crossing my arms together as I sat down on a couch behind me.

Virgil nodded slowly and sat down beside me on the couch, extending his arms across the cushions behind us. I shook my head and looked over toward him, glaring through his smile.

"You just...killed random people for their camps? What the hell is the matter with you?"

"No. We brought back the ones who wanted to contribute to our community, killed the rest. It's different."

"Not at all! They're scared, why would they say no to that? They don't want to be killed, you idiot."

I regretted calling him that, but he didn't seem to care; at least I didn't think he did. Virgil stared at me, as if he was trying to figure out what was going on in my mind.

"Choose your words better next time."

The room was silent before there was a soft knock at the door, leading Virgil's eyes away from me and toward the wooden door across the room.

"Yeah?" He yelled, signaling for whoever was on the other side to come in to the room. The door slowly opened, revealing a man. He stood up tall, and his eyes trailed along to me.

"Sir, a hoard of Biters are at the east wall. How would you...like the situation handled?"

Virgil scratched his jaw for a second, looking over towards me as if I had a say in the way he ran things around here. I stared back at him, narrowing my eyes.

"No loud guns, use silencers. It's almost nightfall, don't need more of 'em."

"Yes, sir."

The man turned back the way he entered and walked away, shutting the door behind him, leaving Virgil and I alone once again.

"He's your right hand man?" I whispered, crossing my arms as he shrugged his shoulders loosely.

"No, my second in command is at another outpost, gathering more people for here."

"Sick bastard." I rolled my eyes. Virgil scoffed, turning his body completely toward mine.

"We're all just trying to survive, Lillian. Some in more violent ways than others."

"There's other ways to do it, y'know. You don't have to have people scared of you at all times."

"That's not how you ran your camp?"

I knitted my eyebrows together, trying not to seem too eager to beat him down every chance I got. 

"No. I wasn't a dictator like you are. I was nice to everyone-"

"And did people walk all over you?"

"Well, no, not everyone."

"But some people did. I'm the fucking boss around here. Who cares if people fear me, I'm getting shit done, at least."

"The only people who did was my brother! He was a complete asshole, and he ditched me for some stupid reason because he wanted to go to Atlanta and he's probably dead right now and I won't even know because I haven't seen him in months."

I relaxed my body after the argument with myself, and took a deep breath.

Virgil whistled and began to laugh, looking out of the window in front of us as a group of people formed outside, grabbing various guns from a cart.

You can't even imagine how many different guns were in that basket; all kinds of rifles and pistols, and everything inbetween those. It surprised me actually, how many they had gotten their hands on in so little time.

I didn't get much time to watch them kill the hoard of walkers, because Virgil had continued talking to me. I was getting tired of his voice.

As much as I hate to say it, I missed Shane. He pissed me off a lot, but overall I think he was a good guy. To me, at least.

I wasn't even sure if he was looking for me, if he had died there, or if he was unconcious still. I had no way of knowing, and that made my stomach ache, making me even more nauseous.

"You've got quite a mouth on you."

"So?"

Virgil shrugged again. It seemed like that was all he knew how to do, besides stare at me as I talked.

I huffed, crossing my arms before turning to look away from him.

The room was completely silent as we waited for someone to talk. Virgil suddenly looked over to me and sighed.

"You know why I brought you here in the first place?" He asked, getting my attention again. I shook my head, turning to look at him. He grinned.  
"I thought you were hot as fuck. Yeah. Had nothing to do with the fact that you killed my men. Natural selection, right?" He sat back on the couch, setting his pistol down beside him.

I watched as he did so, a smile running across my face. I giggled, brushing hair behind my ear as I began to flirt with him.

"Really?" 

Virgil nodded, resting his arm on the back of the couch as I grinned, looking at the floor. He stared at me as I blushed, resting his hand on my back lovingly.

We met eyes for a moment, before I bit down on my lip softly, examining him closely. Virgil leaned his head back, taking a deep sigh.

In a second, I had taken the look he gave me as a signal and threw my legs over his, running my hands through his hair. Virgil leaned toward me, letting our lips touch together.

As we began to kiss eachother, I let my hair fall in front of my face as he was distracted, taking my hand off of his arm and reached to my right slowly, trying not to brush his arm in even the slightest manner possible.

I extended my arm, wrapping my hand around the pistol he had set down earlier, picking it up as slowly as I could, continuing to kiss him.

Virgil suddenly grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled away from our kiss with a big smile. He began to laugh quietly, nodding his head at me.

"That was good. I'll give you that one, good idea."

"Fuck." I cursed quietly, closing my eyes. I fucked up, and I was in deep shit now.

Virgil grabbed my jaw, pulling my face toward his own. He planted another kiss on my lips and took the gun from my hand, picking it up toward my forehead.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that of you want to kill me, sweetheart. You just fucking pissed me off."

Virgil shoved my body off of his own, watching as I hit the ground with a loud thud. Before I could even sit up, he was on top of me, his knee was resting on my ribcage, and there had been a gun pointed at my chest, aiming for my heart.

I struggled to breath, trying to claw at his face. He pulled the barrel back on the gun and gave me a big smile, breathing deeply as I screamed at him.

"If you're gonna shoot me, just fucking do it already! The anticipation is killing me faster than you are!" I joked sarcastically, trying to make my last words be sorta memorable and something that I would say exactly.

Virgil began to laugh at my words, standing up from the floor. As his knee left my torso, I began taking deep breaths, trying to regain the oxygen that left my body. I took a moment to breath before he held out his hand for me, which I unconsciously took and hoisted myself off of the ground.

"Better luck next time." He whispered, getting closer to my face with each word. My face turned red, which made me even more angry at him for letting it do that.

"Come on. I'll show you the rest of the camp." He pulled on my arm, making me walk in front of him. It made sense, but it still made me mad.

There was no way I could hurt him by just punches and kicks, which meant I had to get a gun somehow. How? I'll figure that out as I go.


	4. Arrival

《Shane's POV》

It had been an hour since I had left Woodbury, and I was almost to the I-95 highway. All I had left to go was about twenty more minutes. Thankfully, there were no cars in the way between the two destinations, because I was going at least ninty, if not more.

The only thing that was going through my mind at the moment was what I planned on doing to the man who had actually taken Lillian.

Then it occurred to me that she had been the only thing on my mind, even when we were traveling together. There was absolutely no way I would ever admit that to her, ever, but it has crossed my conscience multiple times.

The smart thing to do was leave my truck a mile away from the actual camp, and walk from there, which I had decided to do. The sun was already setting, and considering it was winter time that meant it's about six thirty, roughly.

My face, where the skin had been broken by getting punched multiple times earlier, had grown cold and began to crack open. I could feel the trail of blood run down my cheekbone, but ignored it as I saw a group of lights up ahead, meaning I was close to the camp.

All I had to do was sneak toward the back where the mercenary had said the guards were the weakest, considering it was surrounded by a giant group of trees pushed close together.

I was hoping that my plan was the easiest, meaning I could get in, get Lillian, then get out without fighting anyone this late, but as I watched closely at the guards shining flashlights at the tree line, I figured I shouldn't get my hopes up anytime soon.

Honestly, their set up was better than Woodbury. The walls were built with metal from shipping crates used on coastal boats, other than wood. There was only one gate to get into the whole place, which was a smart idea to me.

But I was here for more important business, other than examining their camp. I tried remembering what the hostage mercenary had told me, about the giant concrete building in the camp. It was visible over the walls, but only just enough to recognize it vaguely.

This entire camp gave me a bad feeling, and I knew that my guts were right about leaving this place as soon as possible, but I had to get Lillian out of there first.

She's my only top priority now.

《Lillian's POV》

Virgil was pointing a gun at my back, pushing me forward as he explained where everything in the camp was. I hadn't been listening to him, but occasionally he would get too close to my ear and whisper something softly.

I finally turned around to face him, giving off a bored vibe to him. He stood up straight, waiting for me to talk and say what had been on my mind.

"I don't give a shit about your camp."

"Pretty harsh." He grinned at my remark, holding up the gun in his hand toward me. I didn't even flinch as he pulled the barrel back once again.

"Well, I don't live here. Why would I care?"

"That's the thing. I'd love for you to live here, after we got passed the whole wanting to kill me thing. Right? I think so."

I shook my head back and forth, crossing my arms as we stared at each other for a while. Finally, Virgil leaned down toward my face and stifled a laugh. 

"So, where do you stay?" I asked, looking around the camp. Virgil smiled, putting his arm around me, holding me close to his side as we began to walk in a different direction.

"Why? You gonna try to seduce me? Slit my throat? Shoot me?"

"Guess you'll have to find out." I flipped my hair back, away from my ears and behind my shoulders.

"That's exciting."

I fucking hated this guy. I wish I could stab him in the chest at least a hundred times, then lose count which would cause me to start over again so I could stab him even more.

Kinda sadistic, but it was the truth. If Shane is alive, I really hope he comes to rescue me from this hell hole. I had started to get tired of people staring at me as we walked toward another building.

Virgil opened the door for me, watching as I stepped inside in slight awe. I was guessing this was his own personal building, considering it had different racks of guns, a king sized bed, and assorted junk found on different scavenging trips, along with a bar filled with alcohol.

He offered some to me, which I declined. I wouldn't be caught dead drinking with him, as if we had been buddies for countless years.

"Thought about my offer yet? About staying here?" Virgil slumped down on his couch, taking a sip of some sort of beer he had poured into a glass. I couldn't help but laugh at him; as if I'd stay here in a million years.

"Fuck that."

"Fair enough. Then I guess you won't be treated as a guest, but instead as a scavenger. Even better." 

"What's that mean?" I raised one of my eyebrows, staring intently at Virgil as he shrugged his shoulders lightly and smiled at me. My blood began to boil as his grin became wider as time went on.

"There's a few ways this will play out. One, you can stay, fight for me, and have all the advantages I have at the moment. Two, you leave here unharmed, but, and here's the good part, I check up on you every few weeks and take something from your group. Or three, I can kill you right in this camp and go on with my own business. Your choice."

I couldn't help but groan as he waited for an answer from me. All the options were complete shit, but in two out of three I was still alive. Honestly, it might be better if he just kills me right where I stood. That would save a lot of trouble.

He began to make a clock sound, reciting the words "tick-tock." Over and over again multiple times until he stood up.

Virgil walked toward me, slowly, watching my face closely as I stared at the ground. He couldn't possibly expect me to reach this decision in such little time he had given me.

"Come on, easy choice here." He was standing beside me, leaning close into my ear. I was extremely uncomfortable, but I was still trying to make a decision before his patience ran out.

I finally looked up at him, a blank look on my face. With all that time I took, I had already made a small plan. If it didn't work out, then he'd probably kill me.

"I'll stay." I whispered. Virgil's face brightened up as he took a step back from where I was standing.

"You'll need some gear, and a place to hang your hat in the camp. Follow me."

《Shane's POV》

There had been a large commotion inside of the walls. A guard had began yelling at different soldiers about a hoard of walkers trying to fight through the gates, which meant that was the perfect time for me to slip inside unnoticed.

I took a short while to conjure up a plan for when I managed to make it inside; the first place I'd have to look is the concrete building that was just to my left.

If that didn't work, I'd just have to aimlessly walk around the camp. If Lillian was still here, hopefully she would notice me faster than the guards did.

After I made sure there wasn't a chance I would get caught, I quickly pressed myself against the fences, trying to scale the area before I began to prop my foot on a ledge. As I climbed upward toward the top of the metal fencing, I could still hear the assorted yelling from the various people fighting off the walkers.

Halfway up, I got a sudden fear that my footing would slip and I'd fall back to the ground. In that case, I'd land on my rifle before drawing attention to me.

"Shit." I grunted, pulling my body over the fence. I couldn't believe that I was actually inside of the Mercenary camp now, by myself, with countless people who would kill me on sight.

Before I dropped to the ground, I made sure that I'd fall behind a small building. Doing so, it'd seem less suspicious. Hopefully.

Everyone seemed too distracted to notice me, which was a good thing. I tried staying in the shadows, where I would be less noticable, and began to make my way toward the large concrete building in front of me.

At that point, I was practically waltzing through the entire camp undetected, which made me silently laugh at their security.

Phase one of my plan was completed. All I had left to do was find Lillian, get out, then high-tail it back to Woodbury. I didn't want to have any casualties this far into it.

I tried my best to stay hidden, but it was hard for me to look around and duck behind buildings at the same time.

Then, as I hid behind a group of rustes oil barrels, I spotted her. Lillian was walking with a man, at least six feet tall, who was talking to her with a smile. She seemed annoyed, but still listened.

The sight of her with him, whoever he was, made my blood boil. The good news was that she seemed unharmed, thankfully. Although I wasn't completely sure of that.

《Lillian's POV》

Virgil was pointing me in different directions, trying to help me find a place to sleep, as if I was actually going to stay here. He lead me over to a table filled with different sets of guns and bulletproof vests.

I ran my fingers over a rifle, and watched as he shook his head. He then handed a pistol to me, which clearly meant he didn't fully trust me. At least he was smart.

"That's more your size. Take a vest, and meet me over by the front gates after you meet a few people. I have a job for you."

Nodding, I tried to comply with his demands the best to my ability. Virgil began to walk away, which gave me the que to grab a vest and head off somewhere else for a while.

I began to walk away from the table, but something grabbed my attention. Beside a shed, just in front of me, a hand was waving at me through the window of an old shed that has been burned up slightly a few weeks ago. It seemed in good shape, but no one had used it.

Curious, I decided to slowly walk towards the door, looking around before I got too close in case anyone had been watching me.

As I got closer toward the open door, a hand grabbed onto my arm and pulled me inside. The door shut quickly, giving me little time to regain my thoughts. I didn't know what had happened at that point, and I couldn't wrap my head around it either.

"Lillian."

I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and smiled brightly. My entire body was distressed and giddy as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Shane, oh my god I didn't know if you were alive! They wouldn't tell me anything." I began to tear up, explaining everything that had happened in the past day that I had been here in this hellhole.

"I'm okay. Are you? Did they hurt you?"

"No, no. I'm fine; how did you get in here?"

Shane pulled away from our hug and stared at me directly, taking a second to check over my face to make sure I was alright.

"We have to go. Now. And get far, far away from here." He began to look out of the window to our left, trying to make sure no one was outside.

"Shane..." I stopped him, resting my hand on his shoulder. He looked over to me and waited. "I can't leave."

"You're not fuckin' serious. I don't have time for any games, we need to-"

"Shane, listen to me." I leaned against the wall, not caring if I got any soot on my clothing from the flames of before.

He stood up, crossing his arms in front of him. We locked eyes as I began to talk.

"I can't leave. If I do, they'll go back to Woodbury and burn it down, or worse. They'll track us down again, and this time kill us, or make us prisoners. I agreed to stay, so everyone else would be spared in the future."

Shane scratched his cheek, shaking his head in disbelief as I stopped talking.

"That is complete bullshit." Shane set down his rifle. "You are not staying here."

"There's nothing we can do now." 

"There is. We can get the hell out of here, like I said."

I nodded my head, realizing that I probably sounded completely insane to him. I could go, but I was afraid. I didn't know if Virgil was capable of more than burning camps and shooting innocent people.

"Lillian. We have to go. It's night time, we can leave without a trace. I have a truck, full tank, we can get far away from here. Go somewhere else besides Georgia. South Carolina, North Caroline. Anywhere."

I nodded my head and took a deep breath. "Okay."

He perked up his head, a small grin on his face. "I'm glad you came to your senses."

"What's your plan for getting out? We can't go through the gates, they're blocked - how did you get in here, anyway?" I asked. It boggled my mind now, even thinking about how Shane could've possibly gotten inside without alerting the guards.

"I'll explain everything later. Let me think of something."

"Okay," I scoffed. "Get this though, I can walk through the camp without getting shot. You, on the other hand, will die if you go out there. Plus, there is no way that Virgil will let me leave now." I tried to explain the situation, but he just seemed to care about one thing.

"Virgil? What a prick. Lillian, look here, okay? If we get into the back of that building, we can climb down through the sewage, it'll lead us out somehow."

"You want to climb into a sewage pipe? No way, maybe if I just arrange something-"

Before I was able to finish thinking about my own plan, a loud truck pulled up to the gates. It caught our attention, which made me lose my train of thought as we both watched closely through the dusty windows.

Shane looked to me slightly, seeming to not understand what exact situation we were in at the moment.

"Virgil," a man stepped out of the driver's seat and began to yell for his boss. My eyes grew wide as he stepped closer into my view, helping me to see who exactly he was.

"Virgil? Where the hell is that man?"

"Hold your damn horses, Cole. I was finishing up some business, lookin' for someone." I heard Virgil yell from outside of the concrete building.

It was my brother. The same brother who left me, who I haven't seen in months, maybe almost a year.


	5. Count Your Bullets

I wasn't sure what to think, what to say, or what to do. I had realized moments ago that Shane had no idea who that man was, and he stared at me as if I were crazy.

Maybe I am. That could be a different man who, just so happens, to look like my brother.

My mind was whirring. Different emotions came pouring into my brain as I watched Cole and Virgil converse with one another as if it were a normal day. It was a train wreck, to say the least.

"There's someone I want you to meet, if I can find her." Virgil was talking about me, which made my guts churn awkwardly.

"Her?" Cole snickered.

My head began to hurt. No matter how hard I wanted to stop looking at his newly bearded face, my eyes just trailed back to it.

Cole was so different now. He was more muscular than he was, and had a beard. You could almost barely see it due to the blond color.

He was the same height. His hair was longer, and he seemed as much of a dickhead as I can remember. I wondered that if I were to walk out at that moment, if he would recognize me?

Doubtful. Cole had probably already forgotten my face, which wouldn't have been a surprise to me.

"Shane." I croaked, my voice becoming flat as tears welled up in the corner of my eyes.

Shane looked over, instantly wrapping his arm around my shoulders to comfort me. It was one of his best traits; being so kind to me no matter what.

"What is it? What happened?"

"That's..." I sniffed quietly. I didn't want this to be true. I wish this was just a bad dream, and we'd all wake up any second.

"That's my brother. Before I went to your camp, before that, he left us. Took our van, and deserted me. His only living relative."

I wiped away the tear that was on my cheek, and tried to toughen up. We weren't going to get anywhere if I was blubbering like a toddler about something in the past that couldn't be changed.

"That guy?" Shane pointed across the yard, to which I nodded. He almost snapped and became angry, but took a sharp breath before looking down at me.

"Lillian, focus on what we're doing. He's with them now, do you get that? He's a Mercenary. We. Have. To. Leave." He spoke slowly, as if thinking about his words before actually saying them to me.

"But he's-"

"A Mercenary."

I nodded my head, took one last look at my brother, and picked up my gun that had fell to the floor. Shane smiled, helping me stand to my feet before grabbing his rifle beside the door.

"What's the plan, then?"

"We need to sneak around the building. Like I said, there should be a sewage cover around there. I can get it open, but we have to hurry in case we make any noise.

"This is gonna suck." I rubbed my forehead, slightly angry at the situation. Shane agreed, and looked outside of the window one last time.

"They're distracted. Thankfully it's night, or this would be a suicide mission." He mumbled to himself, turning the rusted doorknob as slowly as he could.

I waited, taking the time to fix my shirt appropriately as he crouched down. I followed closely behind Shane as he began to walk away.

My body felt numb.

"Lillian," Shane jerked his head forward. I stopped walking and crouched beside him. We sat behind a discarded pile of wooden crates and waited.

There had been a guard walking around, probably checking the premises in case anyone, (Shane), had gotten inside. They weren't doing a very good job, according to myself.

As soon as we were out of sight, Shane began to walk again. Occasionally he would look back to make sure I was still with him. Of course, there I had been the whole time.

I could still hear Virgil and Cole talking to one another as we hid behind the building, trying to get as far away from them as possible.

We turned the corner slowly, trying not to grab attention from anyone that may have been nearby.

I began to silently freak out, realizing there wasn't a sewer grate anywhere near us. Shane was frantically looking around, beginning to make noises that could potentially attract people to us as he searched behind old oil barrels and tires that had been thrown behind the building.

I tried calming him down, but he was pissed off. Not at me, but at the whole world.

"It has to be here. Where else would those pipes lead?"

"Have any other plans?" I asked, jabbing at his shoulder. He began to breath heavily and wracked his brain for ideas.

"We gotta go up the gates. They're easy enough to climb, that's how I got in. It's kinda noisy though."

"That'll have to do. Let's go, then."

We walked a few feet toward the metal fences, trying to calculate how this was going to work.

"You go first." 

"Are you crazy?" I frowned, shaking my head. "No, you can. You already got shot this passed week, that doesn't need to happen again."

"Will you shut up and climb?" Shane barked at me. I scoffed at him, propping my right foot in his hands as he cupped them together to boost me upward.

"Don't be a dickhead."

I grabbed onto the cold, rusty metal and began to hoist myself upward with all the upper body strength I could possibly have at that point.

I cant wait to go back to Woodbury and sleep in an actual bed. But, knowing what had gone on there only hours before, there was absolutely no way I'd get a good nights sleep.

If anything, I'd be helping to clean up the place. After all, it was my fault their camp was broken into. That bloodshed was on my hands, even if I didn't kill those people. Theoretically, I did.

After I dropped to the ground on the opposite side, I could hear Shane's voice faintly as he began to ask if I made it alright. I nodded, realizing he couldn't see me.

"Yeah, I'm good. Your turn. Let's go, hurry up."

I couldn't even think about what I would do if I lost Shane now. He came all this way for me, by himself, and snuck into a heavily guarded camp - just for me.

If I were in his shoes, I would've left my sorry ass. I've been such a pain to him, and it was just now beginning to make me feel guilty.

My thoughts were interrupted by Shane as he dropped to the ground beside me, a small smile on his face as we met eyes.

"Nice to see you." He joked.

I didn't say anything - instead, I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as they would coil around his chest. He seemed surprised at first, but then Shane eventually hugged me back.

"Thank you."

"Of course. I couldn't just...leave you."

I let go of him and put on a smile. For some odd reason, my eyes were stinging as if I were going to cry. About what, I had no idea.

Shane pointed away from where we stood and began to walk that way. I followed close behind, hoping to not trip over tree branches in the complete darkness as I walked almost blindly.

"The truck is this way. A couple miles from the camp. I didn't want to risk anything."

"Yeah." I mumbled as an answer.

Shane noticed something was off and stopped walking so fast. He hung back a bit and mimicked my pace.

"What happened while you were in there?" He asked. I could tell he was worried, but I didn't want to make him want any sort of vengeance toward Virgil. Knowing Shane, he would do something about it.

"I just can't stop thinking about my brother." We stood still in the middle of thr abandoned road. "I can't help but wonder about the things he's done. How many people he's killed, you know? He just..."

I scoffed at my own words. I'm sure Shane had other things to worry about than listening to my family problems. We began walking again towards the truck he assumed was still on the side of the road.

"He's different now. I know he's your brother, but he abandoned you. Remember?" Shane rested his arm across my shoulders, pulling me closer toward him in a side hug. I smiled.

"I really appreciate you coming back for me. I can't even imagine staying there...I know I was going to, but that doesn't mean it'd be a good thing."

"You're my partner in crime now."

I paused, and looked ahead of us. The truck was down the street, staring as us as we walked closer toward it.

"Why..." I started to talk, but shut my mouth.

There must've been a better reason Shane had to come get me. It wasn't just because he would feel bad about it. I wanted to ask, but my doubts were getting the best of me.

He opened the passenger door for me, and waited until I got comfortable in the seat before shutting the clunky metal door. He joined me in the truck and turned the key.

"Why did you really come back for me? What was the reason? I wouldn't have; I'm such a pain in the ass every single day."

Shane was quiet, which meant I had said something wrong. My heart began to beat faster as I noticed he was about to speak to me.

"I..." he was searching for the right words to say to me. "I don't know."

"That's fair." I laughed softly and looked straight ahead out of the windshield.

"Lillian, I need to tell you something. It's...weird." Shane was struggling hardcore, which made me feel kinda bad, as if it were my fault somehow.

I didn't move, or speak. What on earth could I possibly respond to that statement with? It boggled my mind.

"I'm bad at this. Okay, well." Shane took a deep breath and looked over to me. "These past few months we've been together - you're a pain in my ass, yeah, but I don't think I'd want it any other way. We've been through a lot now,"

"Are you trying to say you're in love with me? You're doing a bad job."

Shane chuckled, fiddling with his hands silently. I reached over, grabbing onto his hand with a grin.

"I'm kidding."

"Yeah, well, you're right." Shane was embarrassed, for once in his life. "I think I am in love with you. As weird as that may sound."

My heart was racing, almost as if I was about to have a heart attack at any moment. Maybe that was my problem.

Shane and I stared at each other in the silent truck, seeing our breath and body heat fog up the windows as we waited for the next thing to come.

He started to lean closer toward me, taking a second to make sure I was okay with kissing him. A small grin pulled at my face as he pushed our lips together.

It's been so long since I've actually kissed someone, I had forgotten how good it felt to know someone cared for you as much as you did for them.

It was uplifting.

And, for once, I was also genuinely happy and content with life.

Sadly, it wont last long.


	6. Take Notes

Woodbury was a complete hell hole. Surprisingly, The Governor was still there along with new people I hadn't seen before. He seemed happy to see us, for some odd reason.

"You guys," he welcomed us. "I thought you were dead for sure, Shane."

"Almost was there, for a while." He replied awkwardly.

The moon had been barely enough light to see one another's face, and I had forgotten it was night time.

"We patched up broken walls, we're safe for now. If you're willing, and want to stay, we could use your help tomorrow."

"Of course, Governor-"

"Philip." He smiled at me. I was kinda shocked at his name; he didn't seem like a Philip.

"Okay, Philip. This is all my fault. I'll stay and help and, hopefully, we can clear out the bodies and fix the walls better."

Philip nodded. 

"Thank you. I appreciate it. For now, I think we should all get some rest. You've both definitely had a rough day. I'll see you in the morning." He began to walk away, leaving Shane and I alone.

I had almost forgotten about the different buildings in the town. Who knew that I could forget so much in just a short amount of time? Shane began to walk away, to which I followed behind him. I didn't want to be left outside by myself. For all I knew, there could be stray walkers roaming around the camp; I should be sure to lock the doors just in case.

"Do you...want to stay?" I looked over to Shane, trying not to sound as desperate as I really was. Staying here, in this functioning camp, would most likely be our best bet. I doubted that he actually wanted to be here any longer than we had to be, though.

Shane didn't speak.

"Maybe this is a good place. I mean, it's certainly brought us together, right?" I was blushing, and I didn't really know why. I hated having feelings; they haven't been present for at least a year.

"Can we talk?" Shane asked as he opened the front door to where we had been staying. I nodded reluctantly, and followed him up the stairs to our left for a short moment.

He closed the room door behind our backs and took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. Shane seemed distraught about something, but there was no way of understanding if he held out too much longer with his words. We stood in the silent room, gathering our thoughts.

"If you want to stay, we can. If not, after we help with rebuilding, we'll be out of here. It's your call."

"My call?" Anxiety began to flood my nerves. "For once." I scoffed sarcastically at him. A small smile tugged at the corner of Shane's mouth. 

"Yeah, right."

"I want to stay here, for good this time. I'm really tired of moving around. Maybe it'll even do us some good, y'know?"

Shane nodded, leaning against the doorway to the bathroom we shared. The more I stared at him, and studied his prominent features, the more I felt myself fall for him.

Sure, he annoyed me most days, but I think that made us closer. We didn't have any deal breaker arguments, which was a good thing to me.

"If that's what you want to do." Shane agreed with my decision, thankfully. I was glad he did; Woodbury seems like it would be a good place to restart a life.

"It is. Thank you." 

"We should get some sleep. We'll have to help rebuild the walls tomorrow." Shane untied his shoes, getting ready for bed.

A metaphorical lightbulb dinged above my head, to which I promptly followed my own idea. 

Considering there were two beds in the room, one for each of us, I had the bright idea to start pushing them together. Shane looked at me, a small smile on his face as he realized what I was doing.

"Here," Shane stood beside me and began to push on the wooden bed frame, scooting it across the room to where the other bed was.

I stepped back, feeling accomplished with myself; even if I had to have a little help from him in the process.

"Thanks." I kicked off my shoes and socks, digging through the dresser behind me for some sort of pajamas. I found a pair of shorts, and began to take my own jeans off. Thankfully I could sleep in something other than denim.

Shane was sitting on the mega bed, a nickname I would now use to describe it, and watched as I struggled to take my pants off. He chuckled lightly, turning away from me.

My face felt warm, but I ignored him and slipped on the shorts I had found earlier.

The entire town was silent, giving me an eery vibe that made my stomach churn uncomfortably. I couldn't help but reminisce, knowing this was somehow my fault.

I didn't know about Virgil, or anything about his camp for that matter. I wish I hadn't seen Cole; he was the biggest thing that bugged me.

"What're you thinkin' about?" Shane asked, standing beside me as I stared out of the window. My shoulders dropped, and I instantly felt guilty about this whole situation.

"I don't know." Many things were running in circles through my brain on repeat. Especially the fiasco that happened between Virgil and I.

That made me feel disgusting. At the time, I figured I had been doing the right thing. Kissing him, trying to distract him, would get the gun in my hands to kill him. It almost worked, but as it turned out, he was smarter than me.

Maybe I just underestimate myself.

Shane saw my face fall to the ground, and slowly wrapped his arms around my body. I felt secure; happy.

"We'll be okay. We'll get this place built back up, and it'll be safer than before. I promise."

Half of me wanted to believe that, and the other half knew it wasn't true. There was absolutely no way I would contradict him, though.

"I hope so." I turned around to look at him. A smile formed across my face as  I noticed he had taken his shirt off, to get ready for bed.

Shane scoffed, and grinned at me. He spoke quietly, trying to reassure me and my anxiety. Who would've thought we would turn out together in the end?

Only a few months ago, we were yelling and arguing with each other about stupid things. I began to remember the farmhouse, and how he would make excuses to go on runs with me. I wasnt sure if it was really because he didn't trust me, or another reason.

Target practice was my favorite thing; and when we drove back to the farm while sharing stories with one another. Genuinely happy and enjoying each others company.

I never would have thought we would be here, alone, together. Or that we would kiss, and want to be around one another at all times.

The cuts and bruises on his face were healing up, and would most likely leave a scar. I hadn't even looked at my own wounds in forever; there's no telling what they looked like.

Shane leaned down toward me, resting his forehead on mine. He was smiling and hugging me tightly, as if I would let go.

"Did you ever think we'd be together?" I whispered to him, watching as his smile grew. He shook his head, which made me laugh for some odd reason.

"No, can't say I did."

"Me either. The day I met you, on that highway, I figured we'd hate each other forever. I'm glad thats not the case." I leaned upward and planted a kiss on his lips.

It was weird to me. I haven't been in love for years, even before the sickness happened. I usually kept to myself in college, and at work.

I loved the feeling. It was one of the best things I've ever felt, aside from happiness.

"I've been such an ass. I'm sorry, Lillian." Shane had regrets toward me. I had some, too, but it was all in the past. Nothing we can do about it now but forgive each other.

"It's okay; I was an annoying little shit." I laughed softly. "I'm sorry, too."

"While we're here, at Woodbury, I'll make it up to you."

"I don't want you to change. I like the occasional asshole, that's who you are. Y'know? We won't always see eye-to-eye, and that's okay."

Shane was grateful I had said that. It showed up in his facial expression, and the grin he gave me. He nodded and sat down on the bed.

"We should get some sleep."

Shane sighed, and waited for me to join him in the bed. We situated ourselves, as he wrapped his arm around my waist. My heartbeat was slow and steady, for once in my life, as we laid together in the dark room.

I turned my body so that we were facing one another, and ran my hand across his cheek slowly, taking a moment to think about all of the things we've said to one another. I'm just glad it was different and would, hopefully, stay that way from now on.

<><><>

When the light began to shoot through the window onto my face, I had felt the urge to just stay asleep. Although, there was work that needed to be done today.

Shane was in the bathroom, and I could hear the shower running. Surprisingly, Woodbury had showers and faucet water! How crazy is that?

I stood up from the mega bed and walked over to the dresser across the room, hoping to find more clothes in it that would fit me.

I began to rummage through the folded clothing inside, and pulled out a new t-shirt to wear along with the same jeans I had. They still fit pretty well, and I didn't want to dirty up anymore if I was going to work today.

As I began to get dressed in new clothing, I heard the shower turn off, followed by Shane rummaging through the drawers in search of something.

I pulled on my shoes, looking toward the bathroom door as it slowly began to open. Shane poked his head out, a smile on his face.

"Did I wake you up?" He asked, shutting the door behind him. Shane had just been wearing a towel as he grabbed a pile of clothing he laid out on the table. I shook my head, and tried not to stare at him.

"Uh - no, no. You didn't. I uh,"

"Lillian?" He grabbed my attention, making me look over to him on instinct. I scoffed, standing up to face him.

"I woke up on my own, no worries."

He nodded, not fully believing me. I looked down at the multiple bruises and gunshots in his chest, staring at the new one the side of his stomach.

"It's nothing." He brushed it off. I wanted to tell him off, to ask if he'd go easy on himself for a day. That would be little to no use, considering he hopped a fence twice yesterday.

"Pfft. Nothing. You've gotten shot how many times now?" I began to count the holes on his chest, one by one, tracing them with my index finger as he watched me closely.

"I've gotten worse beatings."

"That was then. This is now." I nodded my head, looking up at him with a smile. "Of course, you'll be fine, but I still worry."

"You don't need to."

"But, I do."

Shane pursed his lips together, not wanting to add anything else to our conversation in fear I'd brush that off as well. Which, I probably would've.

"Philip told me he needed us at the gates once we're ready to head out." Shane informed me. I sighed deeply, walking over toward the bathroom door.

"Alright." I stopped and leaned against the doorway, looming back at him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Shane sat down on the bed. "Can't say I'll have the right answer for ya'."

"How did you find me?"

Shane sat, as silent as a broken radio, and shrugged his shoulders at my question.

"I, uh - there was a guy here."

"A guy?"

"Yeah, a guy, alright? I didn't know how else to do it. He worked for the Mercenaries, I figured he'd know where that guy took you."

Shane seemed guilty of something. I didn't want to pry, but the other half of me did want to. I stared at him, hoping he would continue.

"I had to do somethin'. I thought they were gonna kill you, Lillian."

"Did you torture him?"

"Nah." Shane shook his head. "Not really. Stuck a knife in his leg, but that's 'bout it." He scratched at his beard, looking toward the ground and away from my stare.

"I'm glad you did."

Shane suddenly looked up at me, a gleam in his eyes as if he were shocked. He probably had been; I know I was.

Never in my life would I have thought about agreeing to his method. Stabbing someone in the leg was far from torturing them. I figured that if he hadn't done what he did, then I'd still be at that camp with Virgil.

That was something that didn't catch my fancy.

"I'm glad you're not mad at me for doin' that. I couldn't just leave you there." Shane paused for a moment and stood up from the bed.

I looked to the floor as he put on a pair of boxers and jeans. I didn't want to seem nosey, or rude, so I waited for him to continue his sentence.

"I'd like to think you'd do the same for me." He sniffed, looking over towards me.

My throat caught a lump in itself, and made me choke silently. Of course I would've gone after him; maybe not by myself like he had for me, but I would stab someone in the leg for him. If that's not true romance, I don't know what else to say to that.

"I'd go after you. You may be a prick at times, but I still like you."

Shane smiled, tightening his belt before wrapping his arms around me. I hate to say it, but I think I'm falling in love with Shane.

He kissed the top of my head, and tightened his arms around me slightly. I grinned, giggling like a little girl as Shane rocked back and forth slowly.

"Everything is gonna get better. You hear me? I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." I looked upward, catching him in the midst of a smile. Shane chuckled, and leaned downward to kiss me again.

Life was starting to look up for me; for us. We've passed all of the possible casualties that could be thrown at us then.

It felt pretty damn good.


	7. Die A Happy Man

Philip had finally called for us. Shane and I had been too busy being mushy towards one another to hear him the first time, and we finally grabbed our guns and met him by the gates after a few more moments.

I was slightly annoyed our time had been cut short together, but quickly got over it as Philip began to bark out orders to different groups of people.

"Lillian, Shane. Nice of you to join us." Philip scoffed, continuing to speak. Shane and I were, of course, paired into the same group as one another. It'd be a crime not to.

Shane stood still, holding a new AK-47 that Philip had passed out to him. I got a measly pistol, but didn't complain to anyone other than my own thoughts.

"Group one," That was the group Shane and I were in together. "You'll report to the west gate. There will be a truck there, and I'll have someone assigned to it. Shane? Be my guest."

Shane scoffed, giving me a quick look before nodding at his orders. Maybe Shane was used to that, considering he had been on the police force, but I didn't like being bossed around.

Sure, in hospitals I had shit to do that people needed done asap, but they didn't order me around as if I were some sort of Marine in training.

"Group one will have a map to follow, to a drugstore, and a list of things to do. Group two will be on their way toward a lumber store a few miles away. Are we clear?"

A giant wave of "yes, sir's" went around the large mob, excluding Shane and I into that bunch.

"On your way." Philip shooed everyone away from him, but stopped Shane before he could go any further.

I waited around, just in case. And maybe to listen to their secretive conversation.

"I want to ask you something."

"What's that, then?" Shane acted tough, which amused me. Mostly due to the fact he was being all lovey-dovey to me just minutes before they had started to talk.

"I want you to fill in as my right hand. It's a big deal, especially with a town this big. You can carry out your own operations, with my consent, and different perks. I can move you - and Lillian - into a new house. A bigger one."

Shane's gaze trailed over to where I stood, kicking at the dirt. I acted as if I was oblivious to them, but Shane knew that was fake. He knows how nosey I am when it comes to secrets.

He finally nodded slowly, receiving a grateful smile from Philip.

"Sure."

"Great. After you're done here, with the drugstore, come find me."

Philip walked away after that, winking as me as he passed by. I rolled my eyes, watching as Shane took a deep breath.

"You ready?"

"As ready as I can be."

<><><>

We didn't waste much time getting into the van. Shane was driving, which meant we'd be there faster.  
Everyone else assigned to group one had hitched a ride in the tail of the truck, leaving Shane and I alone in the front seats.

He was holding onto my hand as he drove, occasionally looking to see if I was alright.

Again, I couldn't stop thinking about Cole, and Virgil, and that stupid fucking camp. I felt bad for everyone who was there, prisoners or not. They were on the wrong side of the fight, sadly.

"You okay?" Shane asked, pulling me back into reality. I sighed, nodding my head a few times.

"Yeah I'm just...thinking." 

"About?"

"A lot of things. All at once." We were quiet when we spoke; something that was new. I guess he didn't want to spook me as I thought.

"Care to explain?" Shane pulled me closer to his side, wrapping his free arm around my shoulders. I smiled.

"It's the same. Just...reminiscing about things. I can't help but think about the farm. I wonder what Rick thinks."

"He probably thinks we're dead by now. Its been a few weeks, maybe a month now."

"Time has been going by pretty fast. It's like I'll wake up tomorrow and be fifty-five, with three kids who visit me once a month in the nursing home because they feel guilty."

"That sounds...oddy specific." Shane raised an eyebrow at me, turning the steering wheel as we rode down a different street.

I laughed at him, shaking my head slightly.

"No, I just mean...it doesn't seem like it's been almost a month. Feels like a few days."

"That's what happens when you get kidnapped." He chuckled.

"Hardy har-har." I rolled my eyes at him. Shane kissed the side of my head, letting me lean on his shoulder.

We soon arrived at the drugstore after a long ride in the truck. I'm sure the others in the back had been uncomfortable the whole way here, which I felt bad for.

Then again, I didn't know any of them personally. So why did I feel bad?

Shane knocked on the glass window; something I noticed he did before going into a strange place. It was smart of him, I had come to learn.

It attracted any of the walkers, which meant they would be easier to spot and kill. Although, there's almost always a stray one lurking in the back of the store somewhere. I know from experience, so trust me.

Thankfully I've cut my hair, which meant I'll be a lot less easier for them to grab. Hopefully; if Shane was right.

After a few minutes, Shane had opened the door after no signs of movement inside of the abandoned building. I followed behind him, grabbing onto the list in his hands to help search for stuff.

I kept my pistol in my left hand, just in case, and began to search for a certain antibiotic on the list. I passed the paper on to another person, and told them to look for a different thing.

Shane was across the shelf from where I stood, looking through the boxes. He had a grin on his face as he read one of them, and finally looked up to me.

Shane held the box up, and laughed.

"I'm takin' these." He held out an unopened box of condoms toward me.

My face instantly became red hot with embarrassment, that I quickly got over with a sarcastic comment.

"If you wanted to have sex with me, you could've just asked." I rolled my eyes. Shane tapped the box again, looking up at me.

"You see, I couldn't have because I didn't have these."

"What a charmer you are." I winked at him.

"You want me to put them back?"

I paused for a moment, lowering my voice as I spoke to him.

"I didn't say that..."

"I rest my case." A shit-eating grin ran across his face as he tucked away the box into the backpack he had been carrying. 

We continued to look for different drugs on the shelves, grabbing anything that could be useful to us in the future.

That would most likely be everything in this store.

As we all started to wrap things up in the store, there had been a series of loud noises outside that made everyone feel uneasy as we listened. They were the faint snarls and growls of a hoard of walkers coming our way.

My first instinct was to look to Shane, hoping he had a plan for this. And he did.

"Help me get the doors, and stay behind the counters. Stay away from the windows, don't let them see you." Shane ordered, running up to the doors to help barricade them.

Glass doors were a bad thing. A walker could easily break glass, but wood? Almost impossible to break down. Unless you were built like Shane, you'd have a hard time doing so.

I tried to help him, but Shane had shooed me away.

"Get into the closet, stay hidden. Lillian, I need you to be safe. Okay? Go." Shane pointed away from him, looking back towards the metal shelves.

I stomped away, watching as he pulled the shelves towards the doors and windows with the help of two other men. I didn't even know anyone else's names, which made me feel guilty for some reason.

That was a big highlighted emotion nowadays; guilt.

"Grab that one." I heard Shane say to one of the men as I closed the closet door behind me.

The closet was practically empty. There had been a few spray bottles of floor cleaner, and a broom, but other than that I was the only thing inside.

Once again, my anxiety was making me nauseous. Lately I had been fine, but for some reason it was acting up again. I tried breathing treatments I had read in a book once, but that just seemed to make it worse for me.

I held on to my gun, keeping my finger planted on the trigger in case the windows were to break.  
The closet door suddenly opened, and Shane quickly shut it behind him as we met eyes. The room was barely big enough for the two of us to sit in, but we made it work somehow.

"Hi." I smiled at him. Shane chuckled at me, trying to keep serious due to the situation we were in.

"Hey."

"How's it lookin' out there?" I tried keeping my voice down as best I could, but said it loud enough to where he could hear me. Shane shrugged loosely, holding his gun close to his chest.

"As best as it can be. We'll just have to lay low until they leave. There's a lot out there. An hour or so."

I took another deep breath before leaning forward toward the closed door. I could hear the walker's loud growls even from in the closet. It was pretty scary, if I'm honest. At least I wasn't alone at the time.

We leaned backward on the wall, soaking in the darkness in silence. I didn't know what to say; or if I should say something, We were supposed to be quiet, but maybe if I whispered it would be alright. Since we were alone again, I could also ask him about a few things that were still on my mind.

"Shane?"

"Hmm?" he grunted, turning his head slightly.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You say that a lot, y'know?" he chuckled, until he noticed I was completely serious. He suddenly nodded his head, letting me continue. "Yeah, you can."

"Otis..." I began, watching the color drain from his face slowly. "What really happened? I've been - I've been wracking my brain, and I can't think of any reason you'd have to do that. But, I wasn't there. I want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Don't play dumb, Shane. Why you killed him. Clearly you told Dale, right? Or he found out. I heard it from him."

"Lillian, who do you trust more? Right now. Me or Dale?"

"That is not the point, Shane. I'm asking a simple question-"

He stopped me before I could say anything else. Shane was clearly angry with me, but that wasn't a first time for me. I could still remember back at the farm, when that had been the only emotion he felt for me; that I knew of.

"Stop it. Okay, yeah, I killed Otis. Is that what you want me to say? I did it. He was hurt anyway, and was slowing us down. Slowing me down. I fucking regret it, but Carl lived. I'm sorry." his eyes were cold, staring straight at me as if I were the bad guy in the situation. 

My gaze fell to the dirt covered floor. I didn't know what he was apologizing for. Frankly, I don't think I wanted to know, either.

"Thank you." I whispered, feeling a lump in my throat start to grow.

"Anything else?" he asked bluntly, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back on the dry wall.

To me, that was a lot more than I figured I'd get out of him. Shane was a very closed off man, which was obvious to anyone and everyone who had ever met him. Except maybe Rick.  
I half-wished that we were still at the farm, along with the others.

I wasn't really sure that if we hadn't left, if Shane would have ever admitted to his feelings toward me. I'd like to say that eventually he would've, but there was absolutely no way of knowing for sure. I also remembered how he had asked if Daryl and I were together while we were on a run together for supplies.

He and Maggie had asked the same question, and at the time I had wished it was true. Thankfully, Shane and I left before that actually happened. Maybe we were better off on our own.

I really wish I could see Daryl, and Rick, and Lori, and everyone at the farm one more time. If we would've just stayed and sorted out the differences we had together, it would've been so much better. Shane wouldn't have gotten shot, multiple times, Virgil wouldn't know who I was.

On the other hand, I know that my brother is still alive. Only time will tell if that was a good or bad thing.

"No." I finally said to Shane, watching him breath slowly.

"You know I'd never hurt you. Ever. Right?" he asked, completely genuine with his words. I nodded, grabbing his hand.

"I know that. I'm sorry."

Shane brushed it off, kissing my forehead simultaneously as we waited for the herd to pass us. That closet was starting to become pretty cozy to me. I don't want to make it a habit though.

"I'm gonna go check outside." Shane stood up from the corner of the closet and turned the doorknob, walking away from me. I sighed deeply, feeling my cheeks get warm as he left.

For some reason, I missed him already. Was I too clingy?

After a moment of silence, he opened the door once again and smiled down at me. Shane held out his hand, waiting for me. I shyly took his hand, hoisting myself upward from the ground.

I dusted myself off, feeling his arm wrap around my waist as we walked away towards the front doors. One of the men had taken the liberty to move the shelves for everyone, which I was thankful for.

"We ready?" Shane roughly asked. His voice was deep; part of his tough-guy routine that I saw through immediately. The rest of our group nodded their heads, calling him sir.

I took one last look at the ground that was covered in muddy footprints from the walkers and hopped into the truck. Shane started the engine swiftly.

"Can I ask you a question?" Shane grinned as if he had made a joke. I shrugged, nodding at his simple question.

"Why don't we go get your brother? Bring him back to Woodbury? He's still your family, Lillian."

"Yeah," I agreed with him on that. "But he left me. What makes you think he'll even want to come back? If he even wants to see me?"

"Who knows. I mean, shit, he probably still thinks about you. I'm just wondering why you're still beat up about it. That was almost a year ago." Shane sighed, shaking his head. "I didn't mean-"

"No, I get it. I guess I should get over it. But to me, what I saw back at that camp, he was pretty happy at the moment. Why should I ruin that for him?"

"'Cause he's fightin' for the wrong side, Lil. You get that, right? Your brother; he was in the Army? Navy? What?"

"Army. He fought over in...Iraq? Afghanistan? I can't even remember, it was years ago."

"That's the kind of guy we need fighting for us."

"What are we fighting, Shane? Each other? What the hell are you talking about?" My anger was starting to boil into my head, which made me even more irritable as he whistled defensively.

"You know what I mean. These Mercenary guys, y'know, they're bad. They're probably trained, some shit like that. I just want to be ready if they decide to attack us again. Your brother could help us if it comes to that."

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, shaking my head in disbelief at him. Was he just rambling? Am I missing something?

"Once they realize you're gone, went back to Woodbury, they'll come look for you. I don't want you getting hurt again. I'm just trying to be ready for anything that they throw at us. I can't let them hurt you again."

I didn't know if I should punch his arm, or kiss him. He was annoying me, but I also loved him to death, My options were both hard to decide over.

"You're such an asshole." I grunted, turning my whole body to look at him. He smiled at me. "But, I love you."

I didn't actually mean to say that out loud to him, but it was too late to take it back now. So I just owned it.

Shane chuckled and held on to my hand tighter, lifting my hand to his mouth to kiss the back of it.

"I love you too. I mean that."


	8. Dead Or Alive

Woodbury looked almost the exact same, except that the other group had gotten back before we did and was already rebuilding the walls. Philip decided to pay us a visit as we pulled up to the gates. Shane rolled down the window, scratching at his beard as he waited for Philip to say something to him.

"You've been gone for an awful long time." he was suspicious of us for some reason. What else could we have been doing? It's not like we were out doing drugs with the neighbor kids in broad daylight.

Shane sniffed, looking over towards me, then smiled slyly at Philip.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We were too busy having sex in he back room. Lost track of time I guess." Shane began to laugh, even after I smacked his chest.

By god, he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. I'll admit, the look on Philip's face was a funny sight at the time.

"Man, I'm just playin'." Shane reassured his boss. "Herd of walkers cut us off. Too may of them, and we had to wait it out."

"You couldn't have killed them?" Philip asked. Shane raised his eyebrow, shaking his head as if he were crazy for even suggesting that.

"There were...a lot. Would've been a loss. I got all your, uh, people back. No casualties, it went well."

"Well, next time, put that gun of yours to use. We have deadlines."

Shane pursed his lips together, nodding at his new orders. He rolled the window up and looked to me. We were thinking the same thing at the moment.

"Prick." Shane mumbled, pulling into an empty parking space in front of the main building. I patted his shoulder lovingly, a big smile on my face.

"I know. But, hopefully he'll forget about it."

"Yeah..." I saw Shane's gaze trail off toward where Philip was talking to one of the other citizens about who knows what. "Why don't you get those meds to the infirmary. I'm gonna have a little chat with Philip. I'll find you in a bit." Shane kissed my lips quickly, opening the truck's door to leave. Before he had the chance to, I stopped him.

"Don't get us kicked out." I smiled and waved him away from me. Shane nodded and slammed the truck door behind him. I got out as well, and headed of towards the medical building to deliver much needed medicine to the people there. 

<><><>

(Shane's POV)

I watched as Lillian disappeared into the medical building across the busy street, and then turned my attention towards Philip. He greeted me with a smile, as always. That stupid smug smile of his was enough to make me want to punch him in the teeth. But, I had to think about what Lillian had said about not getting us kicked out.

Maybe it would be better if we got kicked out of this place. Who knew?

"Shane. What can I do for you today?" he asked as I stood in front of him. I scoffed, but kept my temper in check towards him.

"Yeah, there's somethin'." I sighed, crossing my arms. "Remember when you said we could get moved to a different house? Bigger one, y'know."

"Yes. There was a second part to that deal, though."

"Yeah, I wanna take the deal. Be your right hand, do the dirty work considering you'd never wanna get your hands dirty. That right?"

Philip nodded, ushering me away from a crowd of people so we could talk somewhere more private. He then lowered his voice, and began to bark out more orders.

"While the other group was out, they radioed me and said they found some people. At a prison."

"Where do I come in?" I asked bluntly. I was tired of hearing him talk, and acted as carelessly as I was capable of doing. He shifted his eyes, making sure no one was listening to us. There was no telling why he was so paranoid about this conversation.

"I want you to spy on them. Check if they could be, or are, a threat to us. Or not. The works. While you do that, I'll set up your new apartment. We have a deal?" Philip held out his hand toward me, to seal the deal officially.

I thought about what he was asking me to do; it seemed harmless enough. A little spying never hurt anyone, right? And if Lillian found out, there wouldn't be any problem. She'd understand that we were just taking precautions.

"Sure," I nodded. "When do you want me to head out?"

"In a few hours. Nightfall. We never had this conversation, alright?"

"Of course."

All there was to do now was wait until the sun began to fall. As I turned around, I saw Lillian walking towards me with a smile on her face. It was practically contagious, and made me smile as well.

"What did you guys talk about?" she asked, grabbing onto my hand. I hated to lie to her, but that was the only thing she would believe now.

"Asked him to ease up a bit." I lied. "Y'know, take the stick out of his ass."

Lillian nodded, and immediately changed the subject to something else.

"So, how are you feeling about Woodbury?" she asked quietly, trying to have an honest conversation. I shrugged, running my thumb over the palm of her hand.

"I think that it can be a home. If things change."

"What things?"

"Well," I sat down on one the cement benches that faced an open field, almost like a park. Lillian sat with me, resting her head on my chest. I couldn't help but stare at her; I was genuinely in love with her, which was an odd feeling.

"Philip needs to stop being such an ass. That can be fixed."

"Okay. What else, then?"

"The walls, definitely."

"Yeah, those are being fixed."

"That's all I can think of at the moment. As long as you're not in danger."

"You're so sweet. You know that?" she leaned upward, kissing my cheek. Lillian looked back to me and held her hand up to my face. "You're growing a beard." she laughed, running her hand through my facial hair.

"Guess I haven't had much time to shave." I shrugged.

"We have all the time in the world now."

<><><>

I was almost surprised at how fast the sun went down that night. It was almost an hour later when I had waited for Lillian to fall asleep so I could sneak out to spy on the other camp. This was the smartest option I could possibly think of, so she wouldn't find out and want to tag along with me.

Lillian rolled over to where I had been, but she was still in a deep sleep. I watched her breathing for a few seconds before tying my boots up so I could leave. If she ended up waking up while I was gone, I'd be fucked. 

There were always lies I could conjure up to get her off my back, but that wasn't always going to be a solution. Sooner or later she'd catch on to what I was doing.

I closed the door behind me as softly as I could, and turned toward the front door to the building we were staying in. Philip was waiting outside for me, holding a map in his hands.

"You'll need this." he handed it over, letting me study it before walking away toward the truck I had parked earlier. I followed him, jangling the keys in my hands.

"I'll get it done."

"I don't believe otherwise." Philip gave me the same cheeky smile from before, and began to walk away without another word. "Don't fuck this up."

How could I mess this up? What possible thing could I do to fuck up a spy mission? Let them see me?

I finally got into the truck and started it up, turning on the heat. As I waited for it to heat up, I started to look over the map once again. The prison was only about twenty miles out, which wasn't as far as I figured it'd be. 

"Shit," I started to pull out of the camp, and began to drive down the road toward the prison. I wasn't sure what this would accomplish, but if it would get Lillian and I higher up in ranks then I'd have to do it. It was easy, anyways.

Driving out this far by myself was kinda risky, considering I had no one to watch my back, but it would be easier than dragging someone else into this stupid night. But I spoke too soon.

A knock on the back window caught me off guard as I looked back at what had made the noise. Lillian was smiling brightly, waving at me. I immediately stopped the truck and began to yell at her.

"Are you fucking crazy?" I slammed the truck's door as Lillian hopped out of the back. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe," she giggled happily.

"This is not funny. You realize what the hell you're doing?"

"What the hell are you doing?" she switched the roles, making me the bad guy here. And she was right. I wasn't honest, but I did that for a reason.

"I'm running errands. Get in the damn truck, I'm taking you back." I walked closer towards her, grabbing onto her arm. She shook her head, pulling away from my grasp. I hesitated before going after her again.

"No way! I'm here now, might as well take me with you!"

"No. Not happening. Get in the truck."

"No." Lillian protested me, crossing her legs as she slumped to the ground, crossing her arms as well. I grunted, kneeling down in front of her.

"You're so stubborn." I sat down with her, shaking my head. How did she even know I was leaving?

"Did you really think you could do something behind my back? Have you met me? I know I'm pretty dumb, but c'mon, Shane. You can do better at keeping secrets, can't you?"

"How'd you find out?"

Lillian grinned, tapping the side of her head slowly.  
"I heard you get up. Followed you, so and so."

"Dammit." I breathed, scratching my neck. "Fine. Get in the truck, you can come with me."

"Really?" she questioned. I didn't want her to go, for obvious reasons, but if I told her otherwise she would just sit on the ground and pout all night until she got eaten by walkers. 

"Get in before I change my mind."

(Lillian's POV)

I was actually proud of myself. Either I was pretty smart at finding things out, or Shane was just bad at keeping things secretive, I'm gonna go with the first option to build up my self esteem, so I'm pretty smart.

After driving for a bit, I felt kinda guilty about what I did. Shane clearly didn't tell me what he was doing for a reason, and I completely crashed through that barrier. I hope it wouldn't put any setbacks on his trust toward me, though.

"I'm sorry, Shane." I finally apologized to him, watching as he looked ahead at the window. I stared at him, scooting closer to where he sat. "Really. I am."

He didn't even look my way, which meant he was being petty toward me. I don't blame him but, then again, I did blame him. If he would've jut told me, I would've left him alone about it. Maybe.

"Shane, c'mon." I turned my body toward him. He sighed, biting on the end of his thumb. I hated the silence in the truck; it made me uncomfortable.

"Shane." I started to tap on his chest, trailing my fingers up to his neck. Even that didn't make him smile, not even a tiny bit. I took a deep breath before resting my hand on his thigh, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him.

"Don't be like this." 

I was already getting fed up with his silent treatment. That was the worst to me! I'm a very talkative person, which he knows, which is also why he won't talk back to me. I ran out of ideas, and finally just gave up.

"You done?" he finally asked. I nodded my head, turning back to look at him.

"You're such an ass."

"Yeah, I know."

"So, what are you supposed to be doing, anyway?" 

Shane sighed deeply, letting his breath draw out for awhile.

"Spying."

"On?"

"There's supposedly a camp at a prison; Philip wanted me to check it out in case they're hostile. I shouldn't be telling you this, cause I'll get my ass chewed out, but I'm over it now."

I sat still, slightly confused at why Philip would think they would be any threat to us. Was he that paranoid? I didn't think to ask about it though, considering Shane had nudged my shoulder before I could.

"There it is." he had kept the headlights off in case they assumed someone had been here. He pulled over and parked the car, looking toward me. "Stay in the truck. I'm gonna take a trip through the woods, see if I can get any closer to them."

"Yeah, you're funny. As if I'm not gonna go with you." I rolled my eyes, opening the passenger door. Shane slammed his hand on the metal hood, pointing towards me.

"Do you listen to anything? Ever?"

I didn't hesitate to answer him. "No." 

"Right." he held his pistol, looking over toward me. "Did you bring yours?"

"Never leave without it." I lifted up my shirt, showing his the pistol I had tucked into my jeans. He grinned, shaking his head.

"I shoulda known better than to ask that. Come on," he walked passed me, disappearing into the abundance of trees beside us. I followed, holding onto his arm so we didn't get separated in the darkness. I'd be really screwed then.

I hated the forest. I hate night time. But together? That was literally my worst nightmare. Maybe it wasn't the darkness that scared me; it was probably what was lurking in the pitch black nightmare that made me so anxious.

"Get down." Shane kneeled down, holding up the set of binoculars to his face. After a short moment of looking through them he began to hit the ground beside him multiple times, and handed over the binoculars over to me. "Son of a bitch."

"What?" I asked, taking them from his hands. I brought the binoculars to my eyes and began to look around the area, wondering what he had been so angry about seconds before. After I searched around, I had finally figured out what Shane was looking at.

"Holy shit." I whistled. "Well, this sucks."

"Fuck." Shane breathed deeply.

We were looking straight at our old group; the same people who believed we were dead. I saw Rick, and Lori (who had been heavily pregnant) and a few others. Shane shook his head.

"We get back, we tell Philip these guys should be left alone. Yeah?"

"I'm not supposed to be here, remember?" 

"Right. Don't say anything then. We better get going."

I nodded, taking one more look a the prison and the friends we had left behind a few months ago. Shane grabbed my hand and smiled at me.

"They'll be fine."

"Hopefully."


	9. Last Resort

Shane told me, before we got back to Woodbury, that we should just forget about the prison and everyone there. I didn't want to, though. I wanted to go back to our little dysfunctional group and greet everyone there. I wanted to see Lori's baby, and hold them; I wanted to see Daryl again and hug him, even if he smelled like dirt all he time. And I'm sure Glenn would be just as happy to see me; he's always been a pretty positive guy.

I tried to talk about it with Shane, but he just kept shooting me down when I brought up the subject again. I'd get him alone sometime and coax him to talk about it, so I wasn't worried at the time.

Once we were at Woodbury's gates, Shane told me to get out of the truck as soon as we were in the camp, so Philip wouldn't raise hell for a stupid reason. To my dismay, he was waiting at the gates for us. Shane was cussing quietly, and shrugged his shoulders as he rolled down the window.

"Hi." Philip nodded, leaning against the door. "Don't worry - I saw you hop in the back of the truck. You two are practically inseparable. Shane, what did you find out?"

I was slightly embarrassed that he had saw me do that. Shane chuckled, and looked back to Philip as he thought about what he was going to say exactly. There was a wrong thing that he could say, and I assumed he was trying to avoid doing that.

"They're no threat. They have kids, we should leave 'em alone."

"You realize they cleared the whole prison? I've lost people trying to do that; Shane, we could use that prison."

"Listen, man, take my word for it. Leave 'em be." Shane said nastily. I looked down at my hands, fiddling with my thumbs as thy continued to talk quietly.

"Why are you so keen on leaving them?" 

I knew Shane didn't want to give out the secret, and that he wouldn't, so I stepped in for him. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe it wasn't. I don't think I would ever know considering the path I chose.

"They're our friends."

"Lillian, don't-"

"Stop, Shane." I rested my hand on his leg, looking back to Philip. "You need to leave them alone. They're good people who're just minding their business."

"Alright," Philip nodded, taking a deep breath. "Well, that's a good enough reason. Uh, tomorrow come find me. We need to talk. All three of us, but not here." Philip hit the side of the truck, letting us drive toward an empty parking space.

Shane and I got out of the truck, looking toward Philip as he smiled at us. He always seemed to be happy; sure, it may be for show, but it was creeping me out.

"Your apartment is ready, by the way. Follow me."

I raised my eyebrow, confused, and looked up at Shane. He simply winked at me and followed Philip down the sidewalk into a building across the street.

"Home sweet home." Philip handed a rusty key to Shane before turning around to walk away from us. "Goodnight, you two."

I walked close behind Shane, watching as he turned on a dim light. Somehow Shane had talked Philip into letting us stay somewhere else.

"It's so nice in here! More roomy, don't you think?" I smiled, tapping on the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen. Shane nodded, setting his AK down on the table.

"Damn." He whistled. "Phil set us up good."

"How'd you do this?" I turned around, asking him suspiciously. Shane narrowed his eyes at me.

"I have my ways, that's all you need to worry about."

I laughed at him, ecstatic about the bigger apartment we got. I didn't really care how he got it, I'm just glad we get to share it now.

"I'm gonna go check out the bedroom." I turned around, trying to find my way through different doors. Everything was new to me, and I loved it.

I heard Shane's footsteps behind me as I finally found the only bedroom in the whole apartment. Shane nodded, impressed with the choice.

"Really, what'd you do to get a good place like this? Why'd he move us?"

Shane leaned down close to my face, placing a swift kiss on my lips before walking into the bathroom to check the rest of our new house out.

"New clothes, ooh." I laughed, closing the dresser. I sat down on the bed, smiling softly at how comfortable it felt underneath me.

"Hey," I heard Shane's voice call from the bathroom.

"Hmm?"

"You think I need a haircut?" He smiled at me, running his hand through his scruffy hair. I scrunched up my nose.

"You look good either way."

Shane laughed and kissed me again, looking at himself in the mirror. I turned around, about to walk away, until he grabbed my hand smoothly.

He pulled me back, a smile on his face as he kissed me again.

"How's the bed feel?" Shane asked, looking behind me. My face was flushed red, to which I shrugged.

"Comfy. Sturdy." I bit my lip, looking up at him. Shane leaned down, kissing me with a grin on his face.

I grabbed onto his shirt, hastily pulling him away from the bathroom mirror and toward our new bed.

Before I knew it, we were taking our clothes off together, shoes first, trying to be quiet as we did so.

Shane picked me up, pushing our bodies against the wall as we deepened our kisses and laughed softly. I wrapped my legs around his waist, flashing him a devious smile.

He made a small trail of kisses down my neck, towards my chest, and back upward again to my face. His lips lingered wherever they had been, even minutes after they had disappeared from that spot.

My heart was pounding as we breathed hard, running our hands across each others skin over and over again. I couldn't help but smile as Shane kissed me, pushing our bodies against one another as we laid together closely.

He was running his hand up my back softly as we faced each other, naked in our new bed. I had my eyes closed, but could still feel his stare on my face as the minutes passed by.

Shane turned slightly, propping his head up with his arm as he stroked my cheek. He sighed happily, leaning closer toward my face.

"I love you." I heard him whisper, planting a kiss on my cheek. I grinned, opening my eyes.

Whenever he said that to me, my chest felt light and feathery, which was a good thing.

"I love you too." 

<><><>

The next morning, after we had fallen asleep in each others arms, my memories of the night before fled in all together. I definitely didn't have any regrets about what we had done, that's for sure.

I slowly opened my eyes, realizing that we were in a new room now, which had been set up last night.

Shane was still asleep, which I didn't mind at all. I slowly crept out of the bed, noticing that my body was naked still. I almost wanted to laugh, and I didn't know why.

I quickly slipped on my underwear and a baggy t-shirt before walking away into the kitchen. I had been wondering if this place still had electricity running, so I tried it.

The lights turned on, which I immediately turned off considering it was day light, but I didn't know if that meant the outlets would work.

There was no way I'd know unless I tried them, so that's what I did. I plugged the coffee maker into the outlet, turning it on.

To my great surprise, the light turned on. That was pretty crazy to me; I haven't been anywhere with electricity since the farm; and before that, it had been a long time.

God, I love electricity.

As the coffee began to brew, I heard Shane get off of the bed and shuffle onto the floor. A grin spread across my face as the bedroom door opened slowly.

Shane smiled at me, rubbing his eyes.

"Good morning." I bit my lip softly. "You drink coffee? Turns out the outlets work." I asked and began to make a cup for him.

"Please." Shane leaned against the counter, taking the glass mug from my hands. He took a long drink and looked back to me.

"How long have you been up?"

"Not long," I motioned to the coffee pot. "Long enough to make this."

The coffee was old, but it still tastes pretty fuckin' good to me. That might also be because I haven't had it in a year or two, but that's beside the point.

A knock on the door caught us both off guard as we stopped talking. Shane rubbed his eyes again and set the cup on the table.

He walked away toward the door, opening it to reveal Philip. Thankfully Shane had put on a pair of jeans before walking out of tbe bedroom, or else that would have been quite awkward for the two men.

I listened to what they were saying, acting as if I was oblivious to their conversation.

"Come on in." Shane invited Philip inside, to which I smiled politely at him. I then realized I had no pants on myself, but acted as if I knew what my intentions were.

"Want a cup of coffee?" I asked, holding up a clean mug. Philip nodded his head to my question.

"Uh, yes, please." He turned his attention back to Shane. They were sitting in the living room across from where I stood. I held up the mug to Shane, which he took and handed off to Philip. 

Shane jerked his head toward the bedroom, a small smile on his face, telling me to put on pants because we had company. I laughed at him, but walked away anyway to ease his worrying.

I shut the bedroom door behind me, searching the ground for my jeans I had always worn. I should probably wash them soon.

They were talking loud enough so I could hear them, even from the next room over. I quickly took off my t-shirt, and threw on a flannel instead. It would keep me warmer, anyway.

After my outfit was complete, I walked back outside to meet up with the two men in the living room. Shane looked toward me and smiled brightly, staring me down.

"I need you to do something else for me. You're gonna tag along anyway, might as well know what you're going to do, right?" Philip motioned to me. I nodded, sitting down in one of the plush chairs beside where we were.

"What is it now?" Shane crossed his arms, pulling out his tough guy act once again. I giggled, looking away from him as I did so.

"That prison - they're your friends, right?"

"Yeah, and?" 

"I want you to get in there. I'm still caught up on the idea that we need that place. See what they're up to, if they're willing to join us and let us expand. If not, that'll be the end of it."

"Governor, look," Shane scratched the side of his face and looked down toward me. "I'm still going by what I said. We leave them to their own devices."

"Shane, think about what I told you earlier. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Get it? Besides, it's simple. After that you can forget about them."

"It would be nice to go see them, Shane." I pointed out rhetorically, holding onto his hand. He nodded at me.

"Alright. Fine." He agreed finally. "When do you want us to go?"

"Pack a back in case you stay. Actually, I'll pack them one too. As a...peace offering. Hmm?" Philip stood up from the couch and smiled his little weasel smile again. "You'll leave as soon as I'm finished. So, soon. It'd be better in daylight."

He then let himself out of the apartment without saying anything else to us. I stood up to face Shane, and began to trace the scar on his chest as I started to talk.

"It'll be for like, a day. Won't you be glad to see Rick?" I asked. Shane's face fell to the ground as he shook his head at me.

"No. He thinks we're dead, they all do, and we're just gonna miraculously show up at their doorstep? That's suspicious."

"What else do you expect us to do, then?" I furrowed my eyebrows, genuinely asking him for an answer this time.

Shane shrugged his shoulders.

"That's all we can do, right? No other clear options."

"We should go uh," I lost my words, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Shane was more nervous than me; I could tell by his stare.

"Let me do the talking to Philip. Please." 

"I'm so tired of being in a truck." I sighed, nodding to Shane. "You can do the talking."

I was hoping our encounter with the group would go well; there was no telling what they would do as soon as they saw our faces. Again, they had believed Shane and I were dead. On the brightside, I was almost certain that Lori would have her baby soon and, hopefully, I'll be able to meet them.

Never had I thought about having my own child, only because of the gross stories I've heard from mothers. And a world like this, where silence was key to staying alive, I don't think crying would be the best thing for anyone.

It could get them killed, and that scared me.


	10. I Miss You

We didn't waste much time packing up a few things. Shane was practically freaking out about the whole situation we were in at the moment. I, on the other hand, was very excited to be able to see everyone once again. I've been thinking about it for a long while now, but never actually brought it up in a conversation. Mostly because I had been the one who said we should stay at Woodbury.

Throwing a backpack over my shoulders, I looked over to Shane as he stared at himself in the mirror, shaking his head back and forth slowly. I strolled into the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, clearly wondering what he was up to.

He spotted me and plastered a smile to his face as I let my gaze wander to the electric hair clippers that were lying on the stone sink in front of him. I raised my eyebrow curiously.

"You gonna cut all your hair off or..." I let my sentence trail off. He shrugged his shoulders roughly.

"Thinkin' about it."

"Your beard, too?" I laughed, leaning toward his face. I started to tease him, running my hand through his scruffy facial hair. Shane pulled away, unamused by me.

Personally, I loved his new facial hair. It really made his tough-guy routine more believable to everyone, especially since his face was still bruised up quite a bit.

I could see right through the act, though.

"We should go find Philip."

"Are you...okay?" I whispered, setting all of my jokes aside to check on him. He nodded, giving me a half smile before pushing passed me. I breathed deeply, trying to come up with different reasons why he would be acting like this; besides the fact that we were about to go see Rick and his group for the first time in forever.

I couldn't think of any, but as I was about to speak, Shane ushered for me to follow him. I obliged and tightened my grip on the backpack's straps that were around my chest.  
Shane rested his hand on my back, leading me out of our house before locking the door behind us.

"I'm fine." he finally replied. I took a sharp breath and looked to my left as a man approached us.

Philip had a stern look on his face as he handed off a bag to me. I took it, not asking what had been in it at all before turning my gaze to the ground as he and Shane began to speak to each other.

"Ready?" Philip asked, turning around. Shane and I began to walk behind him, over to where the truck we used the night before had been parked. It was old and rusty but, so far, it's gotten us to the places we needed to be in a short amount of time.

Shane didn't say anything, which Philip took as a "yes". I adjusted the backpack strap that had begun to fall from my shoulders and tried to stand closer to Shane with every step we took.

Philip threw the keys toward Shane. He completely ignored me, which I found strange. It was like I was some sort of spirit that he couldn't see. Maybe I am a ghost, and this whole time I've been dead. Or hallucinating my entire life.

"I expect to hear some good news. Stay as long as you need. Also," Philip held out a radio toward Shane and I. "Take these, just in case you run into trouble over there."

"Yeah." Shane mumbled uncomfortably as we hopped into the truck together. I doubted that anyone from the prison would even think about hurting us.

Shane slammed the truck door and let out an exasperated breath as the gates in front of us began to open widely. I turned my attention toward him, wondering if I should say something to him. Maybe he just wanted to sit in silence the whole ride? I didn't want to annoy him anymore than I already have today.

He began to drive off, stepping on the gas pedal to get as much space between us and woodbury that he could.

Frankly, I was getting pretty tired of Philip. He was annoying me more than I annoy Shane - which is a lot.

"What do you think we should do when we get there?" Shane had looked over at me, speaking suddenly.

I struggled to find words at that moment. I wasn't even sure if they'd recognize who we were, let alone let us inside their new home.

"Do we - do we tell 'em what we did? How we up an' left 'em. Make up a story? What the hell are we gonna say, Lillian?"

"I-I don't know." I stuttered, trying my best not to give him bad advice. Being put under pressure like this was taking a toll on my anxiety, that I hated.

"Shit." Shane smacked the steering wheel with the palm of his hands a few times. He was clearly angry; I didn't want to get into the middle of that.

But, I did anyway.

"You didn't think this through when we left?" I questioned him repeatedly, trying to get a straight answer out of him.

"No! I didn't think we'd see them ever again, you get that?" Shane had raised his voice at me. "I didn't know they'd end up twenty-some miles away from us."

I huffed, brushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I crossed my arms and shook my head at him.

It was understandable that he was mad, but there had been no reason to take his anger out on me. I just didn't want to get caught in the lie we had made up; we needed to get our story straight so that we both could agree on something.

"Why did we lie, Shane?" My face grew hot and my nose began to twitch slightly. "Why the fuck didn't we just tell them? Now we're in this mess-"

"Stop that." Shane grabbed my hand tightly. "We'll be fine. Okay? Look at me, Lillian. We're going to be okay."

I sniffed quietly, trying to get a hold of myself before we could reach the prison. I wasn't sure what to say then, so my instincts told me to just nod and believe him.

"We need to make something up."

I couldn't believe what had just come out of my mouth. I didn't want to be labeled as a liar, a fraud, but what else could we do?

"Yeah," Shane nodded slowly.

"Let's say we - we got into some trouble. Got rescued by a group, hung with them, got a bit turned around with locations. Just let me do the talking, alright? Rick, he just - I know him."

"Fine." I nodded, wiping the tears from my face as he stepped on the gas pedal again. "Can I ask you something?"

Shane chuckled. "There's that question again."

I took that as a yes and began to talk, not bothering to slow down my words once speaking.

"Do you remember, at the farm, Randall?"

"How could I forget?" He nodded.

"He...he said something to me. To us, when Daryl was beating on him. Before we stuck him in the shed." I tried my best to remember the scenario by detail the best I was able to.

Shane watched as I struggled to remember, but waited patiently anyway.

"He said he was with the Mercenaries. Do you remember that? He said it, that he was some sort of back up team. Now, I didn't see him while I was there so he must be somewhere else-"

"Or he's dead."

"Yeah..." I nodded. "But that means that they're all probably rapists. And killers."

"We're all killers, Lillian. You need to understand that. Some of us have better reasons to do it than others." 

"That's," I began to laugh as I spoke, feeling my anxiety and frustration catch on. "That's not what I mean. I'm trying to say that, if Virgil finds me, wants me back for whatever reason, he knows where Woodbury is. He knows where I must be, right? And if we leave-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on."

"No, I just-"

"We can't leave. We have it good at Woodbury now, okay? We're not in danger, we have food and water and clothes. There's walls, too. And if Virgil ends up looking for you again, I'll kill him."

My body felt numb; like he wasn't listening to what I was saying at all. It was hard to get my point across to him, but there's no way to dumb it down any more than I already have been doing.

Moral of the story is: I'm scared.

Whatever it was that Virgil tracked me down for, he would most likely do it again. And now, remembering that Randall had said they raped those girls, I wondered that if I got caught by them, they'd do the same to me.

Being scared for your life wasn't fun. It freaked me out that I had remembered what he said from so long ago. On top of that, Woodbury wouldn't be a safe place for us if he ended up wanting to track me down again. 

I still didn't know why he had looked for me. Sure, Virgil had told me while I was at his camp, but who's to say that was the truth?

Was I just supposed to take Virgil's word for it? I don't think so.

"I'm scared." I admitted finally, watching the color drain from his face. There was a short moment where I wasn't crying, then tears just began to fall.

I cry a lot, yeah, I know. Too many emotions are bottled up in my mind that are slowly oozing out now. I didn't like it.

Shane stopped the truck in the middle of the road, not bothering to pull over to the side. He lifted his arm, resting his elbow in the steering wheel before staring straight at me.

"I'm going to protect you. You have to believe me when I say that. I promise you, there's no way I'd let him get anywhere near you. Ever."

Shane wrapped his arms around me, enclosing me in a giant hug. I nodded, trying to take deep breaths in order to figure out our next move then, so I could focus on something.

"I'm sorry," I chuckled weakly. "I'm such a pain."

"Don't be sorry. You're scared, that's understandable." Shane paused and looked away from me, to the windshield.

I followed his gaze, taking a second to explore the surroundings of the prison in front of us. It looked so much different in the daylight.

"I'll park the truck here, we can walk the rest." Shane put the truck in neutral, letting it run as he braced himself for what would happen. I shook my head.

"No, we should take it in with us."

"Alright." Shane nodded, not having the energy to fight with me. I smiled slightly and watched as he started to pull up to the gates.

The fields were covered with dead bodies, scattered in different angles as they began to rot in the summer heat. Shane sighed deeply.

And there was Rick. He stepped out of one of the cell blocks, along with who I assumed had been Daryl and Glenn. They were running toward the gates at us, holding up the guns in their hands.

"Get out of the truck." Rick yelled as us. I looked to Shane, who nodded along and opened the door.

As soon as he stepped outside, he put his hands up in defense as if the cops had pulled us over. Although, Rick had been a cop, so that's kinda the case here, if I remember correctly.

"Holy shit!" Glenn yelled, sliding the gate open for us. Daryl shot a walker that was trudging toward us, and motioned for us to get inside before any more came.

"Throw your gun away," Rick ordered. Shane slowly reached down and held onto the gun in his hand before chucking it away from us. I did the same, and made eye contact with Daryl for a short moment.

"What the hell do you think you're-" Rick stopped as Shane began to talk.

"Rick, man - it's nice to see you." He chuckled, putting his hands to his sides. Rick still held a gun to us, but didn't mind if we relaxed a bit.

"What do you think you're doing? You're dead, and you just - just show up here? Where the hell were you two?" 

"That's a long story, brother. Let me tell you - it was such a pain in the ass to get here. Hard place to find."

I looked over to Shane, crossing my arms.

"It's so good to see you guys!" Glenn walked over and gave me a quick hug. I smiled.

"It's good to see you, too." I let go and looked to Daryl. "You want a hug?" I chuckled.

Daryl put his crossbow away and sighed, pulling me away from Shane and Rick as they argued. "You got some nerve coming back here..." he grunted.

"I know. Just hear us out-"

"Lillian. You still a nurse, right?" Rick asked, motioning to the blood that covered his shirt. "We need your help."

"What happened?"

"It's Hershel he, he got bit. We cut the leg off..."

"Lead the way." I started to roll up my sleeves.

"There's some medical supplies in the truck." Shane yelled after us. Rick turned around and yelled back,

"Glenn, go with him. Meet you back in the cell."

I watched as Shane and Glenn went back to retrieve the supplies from the truck, waving me away. I took a deep breath, and disappeared into the cell block.

Home sweet home.


	11. Blessings

The cell block was an even bigger mess on the inside than it seemed from the courtyard. Everyone who had been inside left in quite a hurry, of course, which meant that the place was supposed to look like that.

Rick stood behind me, not quite trusting me completely with roaming by myself (which was perfectly understandable).

I walked into a cell, looking to Carol and as they tried to stop the bleeding from Hershel's leg. My eyes grew wide at the sight; they had cut his leg off at the knee, which is what all the fuss had been about. 

"Lillian!" Carol and Lori smiled, instantly returning to the bleeding leg. I kneeled down, getting to work beside the two women as they let go of the leg.

"How did this happen?" I looked toward everyone, shifting my gaze at them until someone answered.

"He was bit," Rick started to explain. "We cut the leg off, maybe it'd save him."

"That's smart." I nodded, hearing footsteps behind us. Shane and T-Dog stood still, transfixed at the bloody sight before them.

I reached out for the bandages in his hand, nodding in appreciation. Everyone became frantic as I started to clean the blood from my hands onto my shirt, trying to take a look at the wound as more blood began to gush out.

Maggie had been holding onto Beth, trying to comfort her while Lori and Carol stood behind me.

As I began to wrap sheets and bandages around Hershel's leg, there had been yelling from the other room.

"Who's that?" Lori asked, turning to her husband. Rick cursed under his breath, running away along with Shane to see what the commotion was about. I watched them leave, looking back to the bloody leg in my hands.

"Is he gonna die?" Beth whispered, asking me in particular. I didn't know what to say, so I just shook my head.

"Can you cauterize the wound? Like with Randall? I could-" Glenn stopped talking, looking to Maggie for guidance.

"No, I wouldn't. I just need to let it heal, this wound is different, it's clean cut. Shock might kill him-"

Beth whined, leaning into her sister as she began to cry again. I stopped talking, realizing I was making things worse.

From the other room, I could hear men yelling at one another, arguing about the cell block and who could take it.

"What's going on out there?" I asked, gazing over at T-Dog as he began to leave. Everyone stayed put, trying to help me the best to their abilities.

"Can you get the gear off of him?" I asked no one in particular. Lori stepped up and began to unlatch the armor he was wearing, slowly peeling it off of his body.

I nodded my thanks, taking a deep breath. This isnt exactly where I thought I'd end up the moment I stepped through the gates but, at least I was helping with something.

"Carol, can you hold onto this?" I asked. She kept pressure on the bloody sheets as I stood up, trying to concentrate.

Shane had left the bag we brought with us on the ground beside the cell. I bent down, unzipping the duffle bag. Hopefully there were some pain killers, or any medicine in there.

Hershel would need to fight like hell to survive something like this, just like Randall. But, from my experience, Hershel was a helluva lot stronger than that low-life had been.

I dug deeper, hearing a bottle of pills shake as I scooted the bag around. I snatched them up and returned to my place in the cell with everyone else.

"Thank you." I whispered, relieving Carol of the duty I had asked of her.  
"It's stopped a bit. I'm sure I can put the bandages on now." 

As I started to wrap the gauze around the stubbed leg, my curiosity got the best of me as the room was silent. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up too high, but there wasn't much else I could do to relieve the stress.

The yelling from the other room ceased, to which I ignored and continued to work.

"How's the baby?" I looked to Lori, seeing a smile on her face as she set her hand on her stomach lovingly.

"No complications so far."

"That's good!" I grinned, not trying to make things awkward in the room. Carol looked at me as if she was telling me that weren't true, but didn't say a word.

Glenn and Maggie walked away from the cell to talk to one another, leaving Carol, Lori and I alone in the room.

"How long have you guys been here?"

"Not long. A day or two." Carol sighed. I exhaled sharply, concentrating on tying the bandages as tightly as I could to stop the bleeding.

Those years of medical school were paying off, even after the end of humanity itself. I liked helping people, though. I like it, and I'm good at it, so that's a perfect fit.

I wiped away sweat with my arm, trying not to touch my face and get blood on it. This isn't exactly how I imagined my life to be going at the moment.

"If he gets through this-"

"When he gets through it." Lori corrected Carol, letting the room fall silent. Carol nodded.

"He'll need crutches."

"Definitely." I agreed. Maybe I'd help make him another prosthetic leg? It could be like a short bonding moment for us.

Suddenly, a loud, rickety gate opened to reveal T-Dog, Shane, and Rick as they walked inside with boxes of food in their hands.

I stood up from the side of the bed and met them, smiling at Shane as he set down a bag of something.

"How is he?" Rick asked. I thought for a moment.

"Better. Bleeding stopped but, uhm, he's still unconscious. He'll pull through, hopefully."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. I know I kinda just threw it at you..."

"It's fine," I smiled at his unnecessary apology. "I'm glad I can help. From not being around for the past few months, at least I'll get back in the groove of things."

"I'm still waiting for your explanation." Rick looked to Shane, who nodded silently.

Shane and I met eyes, internally screaming at each other. 

I left the cell block doorway, walking to Shane as he began to whisper. I looked to Hershel as Glenn began to put a set of handcuffs on his arm. It was sad to see him do that, considering their history.

"You need to tell Rick as soon as possible." I urged, crossing my arms. Shane's eyes shifted to different people before he looked back at me.

"Now is not the time, believe me." 

"Why's that?" 

"We have to go clear a cell block for some prisoners. It was a deal,"

"After, then?"

Shane ran his hand through the dark colored hair on his head, nodding. I sighed and tried to feel optimistic before returning to Hershel.

"Please be careful. I can't lose you now."

"I always am." Shane wrapped his free arm around my body, pointing away from me. "Take care of Hershel. I'll be back."

"Do you want me to help?" I asked. Hershel was fine at the moment, and Glenn was there with him as well as Carol and Lori. I'd say he was in good hands.

"No. You need to stay with him, you're a nurse. We can handle it, don't worry about us. Worry about Hershel."

"Alright. Be safe."

(Shane's POV)

Lillian turned away from me, going back into the cell to help out with Hershel. I let my eyes trail toward Rick and Lori as they were talking to one another quietly.

I waited until Rick was at my side, giving me an invitation to speak as he asked a question.

"So," he began. "What happened that day? When you didn't come back."

There was anger in his voice, clearly. I stuck to the story that Lillian and I had agreed on the ride over here.

"We got cornered by a hoard of walkers. We almost...almost didn't make it out."

It wasn't the first time I've lied to Rick, that's for damn sure. He nodded along as I spoke.

"A group had been scouting around the area, and helped us. I wasn't about to tell 'em where the farm is, but I was hurt. They took us in, and Lillian and I got sidetracked, lost where our location was at the time."

"We thought you were dead, we went looking for you."

"Is that why you're here? At a prison."

Rick was silent, but shook his head at my question.

"No." He sighed. "The farm, it got overrun. A lot of people died. Patricia, Jimmy, Andrea..."

"I'm sorry."

"How'd you find us?" Rick crossed his arms, raising one of his eyebrows. I looked to Lillian as she was leaned over, rubbing her temples due to a headache she was developing.

I contemplated telling him about Woodbury. There was no sure way of knowing his reaction, which made me slightly nervous. 

"That group they, uh, they had a team out, and they saw you here yesterday. I was told to...to see if you're friendly."

"They asked you?" Rick didn't seem convinced. "You the right hand over there now?"

"Don't be like that. I didn't know you were here. Neither of us did."

Rick assumed I had been speaking about Lillian, and looked over to her with a sigh.

"And her? You two have been together this whole time? You seem...pretty close now."

I nodded. He would eventually find out about the relationship Lillian and I have, so I might as well spill it now.

"Been together a long time. And we're..." the words from my mouth stopped as I tried to decide what to say next. Rick smiled.

"I know. I saw the way you looked at her earlier."

"We looked for you, but then things began to pile up."

"That's the past. You're here now. And we have work to do, brother." Rick held out his hand to me. I nodded, grabbing onto it in a slight handshake.

"Damn right we do."

Rick began to walk away towards the gate, having Carl open it before he turned to me.

"Shane!" He started to run toward me, grabbing onto my shirt with a hug. I laughed stiffly, crouching down in front of him.

"Hey, man. You've gotten bigger." I pointed out. Carl smiled smugly, nodding.

"Yeah, I know."

"Been takin' care of your mom? She'll need it when that baby comes."

"Of course. And I helped get supplies from the infirmary, by myself. Took down a few walkers, but I got what was left."

"Smart thinkin'." I tapped on the side of my head. I really missed this kid.

"Mom got mad...but at least I did something..."

"You did the right thing. Now, I gotta go help your dad but we can catch up later. Go on and help your mom with Hershel."

As Carl walked away from me, I stood up to face Rick. He jerked his head slightly before joining the others in the cell block hall.

"Here's how we're gonna do this," Rick looked back to the five prisoners standing in front if us. They all had mean looks on their faces as they exchanged glances with eachother.

"Why do I need this, when I got this?" One of the prisoners asked, holding up a knife and the gun he had. I scoffed. These guys knew jack-shit about the outside world now.

"You don't fire guns. Not unless your back's up against a wall." Daryl explained, crossing his arms. "Noise attracts 'em. Really...riles 'em up."

"We'll go in two by two. Daryl will run point with T. Shane and I will bring up the rear. Stay in formation; anyone breaks rank we could all go down. You wander off, could get mistaken for a walker. Get an axe to the head."

"And that's where you aim." Daryl chimed in. "These things only go down with a headshot."

"You ain't gotta tell us how to take down a man." One of the prisoners laughed darkly. I inhaled deeply, making eye contact with him.

"These things ain't men. They're somethin' else." T-Dog held out a crowbar toward them.

"Go for the brain." Rick said again, motioning toward the door. "Let's move out."

There were times where I had wanted to say something, but then I realized I had no place to. This wasn't a democracy anymore, Rick made that very clear today.

I just hoped these prisoners would behave enough so we could all get along. If not, they would end up with an axe to their head.

(Lillian's POV)

My eyes were feeling tired and droopy for a while after Shane left to help the prisoners out with everyone else.

I had wanted to go. It was a lot better than sitting around here waiting for Hershel to wake up, but I realized that it was practically my duty to stay with him. Besides, I was repaying a debt to him by doing so.

My legs were falling asleep, so I stood up. Carol took over on watching him as I paced around the lobby outside of the cells. It was practically my weakness; the feeling after when your legs feel like they're getting bit by thousands of little fire ants.

"Lillian," Carol stood up from the bed and joined me outside. I turned to her, squinting my eyes slightly. "Can you help me with something?"

"Uh, yeah, of course." I nodded.

"Come on," she started walking away, to which I followed her.

We were silent until she opened the door that led outside, holding it open for me to walk through.

"What's the problem?" I asked, slightly concerned.

"Lori is overdue. She had Carl by c-section, this baby might be the same."

"Shit."

"You can deliver them though, right? Hershel taught me a few things but now that you're here-"

"I can, yeah. Gonna be a lot harder without any, y'know, sterile tools. It can be done, I'll need a lot of help though."

I've only done a c-section three times in my lifetime. On one of those occasions, the mother didn't make it.  
That couldn't happen to Lori. I couldn't let that happen to her, not now.

"I'll be there to help you."

"Thank you."

There was a pause amongst us, before hell broke lose.

The door to the cell block swung open violently, and Glenn ran out frantically as he turned every which way to find us.

"Guys, get in here. Now!"

Carol and I booked it to the door, following Glenn down the hallways and into the cells again.

"Daddy!" I heard Beth yell. "Maggie, do something!"

I saw Lori run into the cell where Hershel was, which I quickly ran into as well. Glenn looked to me.

"Do something!"

"What happened?" I asked, not knowing exactly what I was supposed to be doing at that moment.

"He's not breathing." Lori grunted, trying to give him CPR. I stood by her side, pushing down on Hershel's chest as she blew air through his mouth.

I was silently cursing at myself for leaving his side, but there was no point of dwelling on it.

After a few short breaths, Hershel's entire body jerked forward, scaring the shit out of Lori and I to where we almost fell backwards.

Hershel was breathing again, that's for sure. Carl was pointing the gun at him, which I unconsciously waved it away.

"It's okay." I breathed deeply. "He's alive."

Behind us, the gate doors opened once again. I smiled, half laughing at their timing of getting back to the cell block.

Carl, Lori, Glenn and Maggie walked away to meet up with them. Beth waved me away.

"Go see Shane." She whispered, holding onto her father's hands tightly. I was slightly embarrassed, but left before she could say anything else to me.

Once again, my body felt numb to the touch. It was as if this had been a bad dream that I couldn't wake up from, not now, not ever.

"Are you okay?" I heard Lori ask Rick, who immediately nodded.

"Lillian?" Shane rested his hand on my shoulder, staring at the blood that covered my shirt.

"I'm okay." I smiled weakly. "Hershel is alive still."

He didn't say anything else. Shane wrapped his arms around me, swaying from side to side slowly as he began to reassure me quietly.

"What happened? With the uh..."

"Prisoners?"

I nodded, putting my head against his chest.

"One of 'em threw a walker at Rick, so he put him down. Two others died. The last two are in their own cell block, cleaning up the bodies."

"Did you get hurt?" I asked, tapping on the blood that was oozing from his side. He shrugged slightly.

"I'm okay."

I sighed and turned to look at Daryl as he stared at Shane and I, slowly turning to walk away. This day was just getting better and better.

"You should talk to him." Shane suggested, letting go of my body.

I knew that, but I couldn't muster up the strength to do it. If he were to yell at me, all that I could do was take the hits one by one. My emotions were draining slowly now.

"Shane, Lillian. Can I speak to you two? Outside." Rick walked into the hallway, toward the door leading outside of the block.

We followed close behind and sat at a cement bench in front of the doors, waiting silently. The sun was beating down on us, making my forehead start to sweat already.

"I'm gonna need a further explanation than what Shane told me earlier. You're really gonna have to, to dig deep and convince me if I should even let you be sitting here."

"Rick, man, you're acting like we're the bad guys here." Shane laughed softly.

I rested my arms on the table, feeling myself fall in and out of a sleep state as they continued to argue.

"I don't know what you are. Haven't seen you in months, and you just show up at our doorstep with a bag of supplies and a helping hand?"

"We wanted to make things right, we wanted to find you again. I got shot in the chest." Shane unbuttoned his shirt, showing off the scabbed-over wound on his shoulder.

"Was that before or after this group took you in?" Rick was suspicious of us, which was understandable at the time.

"Before." Shane replied. "One of 'em shot me, thought I was a walker. They're all long gone now, got shot up by a group of - shit." Shane stood up, looking to me.

Rick held his hand over the revolver on his belt, which I immediately noticed. Shane was pacing back and forth.

"Rick, remember that uh, the kid at the farm?"

"Randall?"

"Lillian, you were right. I remember that. Rick he was a mercenary, he said that to us before we dropped him off. Those same guys attacked our group, drug Lillian off to their camp."

"You were kidnapped?" Rick asked, staring down at me. I nodded, feeling embarrassed because I was practically helpless then.

I hated talking about it; but there was no way the subject would be dropped.

"They shot me unconscious, took her, raided camp a few days ago. We're rebuilding. That's what we came here for."

"You want us to what? Give up the prison? Go fight with your little cause?" Rick smiled, shaking his head. "That's not gonna happen."

"Rick, listen-"

"No. Listen to me," he interrupted me. "We cleared this place, it's ours now. I appreciate the help, really, but right now I can't put my baby in any harm. Those guys could go back to your camp, who knows."

"We have an infirmary, with beds and antibiotics - Lori needs somewhere safe to give birth, right?"

"This prison is a helluva lot safer than that place. You two have been missed, I'll say that but...I can't risk that for my family."

"We understand." I stood up, shooting Shane down. There was no point of arguing about it. If I hadn't said something, these two would be going on about it for days.

"You're more than welcome to stay with us. You're both still family, and I doubt the uh, Mercenaries could find you here. This place is secluded, we'll see them coming before they see us."

"Thanks, brother." Shane nodded, looking to me. "It's your call now."

Why was I always the one who had to make decisions like this? It was as if he was setting me up for disaster unintentionally.

I thought about my options for a minute.

One, Woodbury didn't exactly need us. They had over sixty people now, which means they could lose two without making a dent.

Two, Rick needed us here. More so me, considering I was an actual doctor who could help Lori through the pregnancy process. 

And three, I missed everyone here.

There was a moment where I thought about going back to Woodbury, but that was hidden by my choice of staying here. I looked to Shane, then to Rick.

"Lori is gonna need my help with her baby. And Hershel, with his leg."

"That settles it." Rick smiled. "Welcome home."


	12. Complicated

Shane had radioed Philip the next day, saying we weren't coming back to Woodbury. I was scared of the response we'd get, but Philip was okay with it, surprisingly.

He asked that we keep the radios, in the case that there was trouble and we needed help at the prison, and told us to have a good day. It was almost suspicious the way he brushed it off so smoothly, but I guess I was the only one who thought that.

I was holding a stethoscope to Lori's stomach, trying to listen for a tiny heartbeat. After a few seconds, I smiled.

"You should be due any day now." I tried to lighten her spirits. I stood up, receiving a nod from Carol.  
"I'm going to go help move the vehicles inside, if you need anything at all, you holler for me."

"Thank you." Lori smiled, waving me away. I turned around and began to follow Shane outside to help the others.

We watched as Carol pulled our truck in, parking it by the entrances. I could see Shane in my peripheral vision, looking to the ground as we walked.

"I'm glad we stayed."

"We need to find a place. We can't keep moving around like this." He whispered, trying not to let anyone overhear us.

"Yeah," I nodded, "This is that place. We're making it a home, we get to be a part of that now. Together."

"I just hope these fences stay up. Walkers are gonna pile up sooner or later."

"We can reinforce them. We can do this, you just have to have some faith."

Shane laughed, leaving my side to help Rick with the cars. I stepped up and stood beside T-Dog, leaning against a toppled bus that was on it's side. He gave me a small nod, looking to Daryl.

I kept my eyes down, not even bothering to make eye contact with anyone.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Rick asked, shifting his weight.

"Up in the guard tower." Daryl answered stiffly.

"Again?"

"Hey, Glenn! Maggie!" Daryl suddenly yelled, trying to grab their attention. I looked upward toward the tower, watching as Glenn walked out after a moment.

He was zipping up his pants, waving slowly.

"Uh, hey, guys." Glenn looked over to Maggie.

"You comin'?" Daryl snickered, motioning to the cars around us.

Glenn looked confused at first, but then nodded. "Yeah, be down in a few."

I laughed, watching grins light up everyone's faces as they realized what they had been doing up there.  
Shane was even smiling, and then I knew that we were right where we needed to be.

"Rick," T-Dog suddenly pointed towards the gates behind us. Two men in blue jumpsuits were holding onto it, watching us.

We all began to walk toward them, guns in our hands as they took a step backwards once we stopped.

"What are you doing?" Rick asked them, opening the gate. One man with long, red hair began to speak as if he had been friends with Rick for years.

They had wanted to get out of the cell block, which Rick wasn't open to. Apparently they were tired of dragging dead friends out of the cells, and told him that one of the fences were broken. It made me laugh, realizing how closed in they had been about the world around them.

"No, the deal isn't negotiable. You either stay there, or leave." Rick wasn't taking any shit from them this time. He seemed to be different than when I saw him last at the farm.

The other man, who was way taller than I was, began to explain how they'd rather leave. Try their luck out on the road.

I, for one, didn't have a problem with that. But everyone else seemed to, besides Daryl and Shane. 

Rick looked behind him toward Daryl, who simply shook his head at the idea. Shane was on board with them, which made me notice he hadn't changed much point-view wise.

Before I knew it, they were leading the two prisoners into the main gate entrance, locking the fence to where we could talk as a group without interruption.

T-Dog didn't mind them, and I agreed with him. I wasn't sure why, but even I could at least over power the short one. They didn't seem to be any real threat toward us.

"Are you serious?" Rick angrily whispered at us, talking to T. "You want them living in the cell next to you? They'll be waiting to take our weapons, do you want to start sleeping with one eye open again?"

"I never stopped." T-Dog whispered, leaning against the bus. "Bring 'em into the fold, if we send them off packing we might as well be executing them ourselves."

"I-I don't know. Axel seems a little unstable." Glenn said. I wasn't sure which one was Axel, and I didn't want to know either.

Carol then added, "After all we've been through? We've fought hard for this place, what if they decide to take it?"

"They're strangers. I don't - it feels weird having other people around." Maggie looked to me, giving an apologetic look. I stared at the ground, not knowing what to say.

"You brought us in." T-Dog said, giving himself an advantage. Maggie sighed.

"You showed up with a shot boy in your arms, didn't give us a choice."

"They can't even kill walkers." Glenn whispered, putting his arm around Maggie.

"They're convicts, bottom line." Carol said.

"They might have less blood on their hands than we do, right?" T-Dog looked toward me.

Again, I didn't want to get into the argument. Shane and I have only been here a day or two, it wasn't our place to decide what happened to them, especially now.

"I get guys like this. Hell, Lillian and I grew up with them." Daryl pointed toward me. "They're degenerates, but not psychos. I could've been in there with 'em just as easy as I'm out here with you guys."

"So you're with me?" T-Dog asked, getting a laugh from Daryl.

"Hell no." Daryl shook his head. "Send 'em packin' just like we did with that kid on the farm. Let them take their chances."

That was something I could agree with. Treat them like we did with Randall, the exact same way. Of course, I kept my thoughts to myself.

Rick interrupted with a story.

"When I was a rookie, I arrested this kid. Nineteen years old, wanted for stabbing his girlfriend. Kid blubbered like a baby during the interrogation, during the trial - suckered the jury."

"I remember that one." Shane nodded, crossing his arms to let Rick finish.

"He was acquitted for insufficient evidence. Week later, he shot another girl. We've been through too much, now our deal stands." Rick started to walk away then, leaving everyone quiet.

Everyone walked away, leaving T-Dog and I alone as we stood by the bus.

"Aren't you glad to be back?" He asked sarcastically, pushing passed me to walk away.

I sighed, watching Rick as he explained to the prisoners the deal. He began to lead them back toward their cell block, ordering everyone else to dispose of the bodies in the fields.

"I'll give them a weeks worth of supplies, send them out." Rick explained to T. I overheard, listening closely as I helped Maggie lift up a body.

The smell was unlike anything; corpses rotting under sweltering heat was a bad combo, especially since they've been out here for months. 

"Might not last a week." I heard T-Dog whisper.

"Their choice."

"They ever had one?"

Rick stopped walking and looked back to T, who was staring at the gravel road.

"Hey, hey, - who's blood would you rather have on your hands? Maggie's, Glenn's, or theirs?"

"Neither."

<><><>

After we were almost done moving cars and burning bodies, out of the corner of my eye I saw Glenn start to wave. I looked over at him, dropping the firewood onto the ground as I ducked under the fence.

"That's one tough son of a bitch." Glenn smiled, pointing toward Hershel as he began to walk out of the cell block on crutches.

"Damn." I laughed, waving my hands in a silent cheer. He was doing pretty well for his first time outside in a while.

"Lillian, can you go up there and help 'em? Just in case." Rick asked. I nodded, brushing myself off before quickening my pace towards the front gates. 

As I neared the courtyard, I slid the gate open and made my way towards Hershel.

"How's your leg feeling?" I asked, standing in front of him in case he were to fall over.

"Better. Pain meds are helping."

"I'm glad. Don't strain yourself too much, we don't want it to bleed again."

I gave Rick a thumbs up, looking at Shane as they stood beside one another at the fences. I could see the smiles on their faces quickly deteriorate as Carl began to shout.

"Walkers!" He yelled, pulling out his pistol to start shooting. Hell broke loose then as tens of walkers began to pour from an open gate behind us.

"Beth, get Hershel!" I watched as she helped her dad over to a gate, up a flight of stairs.

I pulled out my gun and began to shoot at the corpses walking towards us. With every shot, one fell to the ground.

Everyone was yelling. I could hear Shane's voice behind me, yelling for me to get somewhere safe. I ignored him and continued to clear out as many walkers as I was able to with haste.

"Lori! Here!" Maggie yelled, leaving Carol, T-Dog, and I in the courtyard as everyone got to a safe place.

I turned around, trying not to let anything touch me before I had the chance to kill them.

"Lillian! Get over here!" Shane screamed. I didn't know what to do then; I didn't want to abandon anyone who needed help, but if I got to Shane and Rick, we could help in a bigger group.

I watched as T rounded the walkers into a gate, which he was trying to shut. On instinct, I ran over to him, taking out a walker that was behind him. He nodded his thanks as I shot the ones behind the gate until my gun ran out of ammo.

He and Carol began to run into a door, waiting until I followed. I shook my head. 

"I'll stay here, just go!" I began to reload my gun just as soon as Glenn, Rick, Shane, and Daryl unlocked the gates to join me.

Carol and T disappeared, leaving me.

"What the hell happened here?" Rick yelled, alerting Beth. I shot another walker, taking place by Shane.

"Are you okay? Are you bit?" Shane asked, checking me over quickly. I shook my head as he kissed my forehead, holding me close to his body. My breathing was out of control, and my body felt numb again.

"The gates were open." Beth yelled back, clearly distraught by what was going on.

"Where is everyone?"

"Maggie led Carl and Lori into block c," Hershel pointed away from us.

"Anyone else?"

"Couldn't tell." Beth replied sadly.

"Stay put." Rick nudged Shane. "Let's go."

"Stay with Hershel and Beth-"

"No way! I'm going with you!" I interrupted Shane, already running along with everyone.

Glenn was panting, looking to Rick. "Those chains didn't break on their own, someone took an axe or something to 'em."

Immediately, we all looked toward the two prisoners as they stood behind us.

"Think it was them?" Rick asked, holding onto his gun.

"Who else?" Shane grunted.

Almost on que, a loud siren began blaring throughout the prison, probably alerting every walker within miles toward the prison.

"Oh, come on!" Glenn yelled, covering his ears.

"Kill it!" Rick started to shoot at different speakers sprinkled across the courtyard. I tried helping, but quickly pointed my gun at the prisoners as they got closer toward us.

"What is that!?" Shane yelled, turning toward them as well.

"We didn't do this - there must be a back up generator." The taller convict said, holding his hands up in defense.

"How do we stop it?"

"I think you can-"

"Shut up, just come with us." Rick pushed them ahead as we entered the building side by side.

I took a look back as the doors closed, watching more walkers pile up on the fences.

We retreated back into the cells where everyone was staying, shooting down walkers as they got closer towards us. Rick began to yell out his wife and son's names, doing everything he could to find them.

"Any sign of them?" Glenn asked, walking down the stairs. We shook our heads, meeting Rick in the bottom floor as he began to yell.

"Someone is playing games!"

"Rick, stop!" Shane grabbed into him by the shoulder. "Keep a level head. We need to search the other hallways, don't lose sight now."

"Alright." Rick gulped his anger down. "Let's go, then. We'll split up and look, Oscar can go with Lillian, Shane and I. Glenn, Daryl, Axel you go together. Whoever gets to the generators first shut them down!"

We ran out of the cell block, down a different set of hallways as we began to search for them again. Our group split off different ways.

My heart was pounding out of my chest in angst, making my vision feel blurry. Everything seemed to be happening so fast, it was like we couldn't hold on.

"Through here!" Oscar yelled, running through a door.

"Shane, Lil, get the door!" Rick ordered, running toward a large generator. Shane held his body against the door, trying not to let the walkers get inside.

I held onto my pistol, making sure that if we needed it, it would be ready to use. A loud crashing noise went on behind us, making me flinch.

"Go, I got the door." Shane pushed me away, giving it all he had to keep the door from opening. I nodded, holding my gun upward.

Rick was rolling on the floor with another man in a blue jumpsuit, trying not to get choked out by an axe handle he was carrying. Oscar was in the ground beside me, holding onto his bleeding head.

"Rick!" I yelled, causing the other man to get distracted as I pointed a gun at him.

I took a shot, shooting the convict in the arm. He let go of the axe, which allowed Rick to breathe again. The prisoner quickly got up, reaching for the gun that fell from Rick's hand.

Oscar grabbed it before he could, pointing it toward Rick. I shook my head at him, aiming for Oscar in case he did shoot.

He moved his arm slightly, pulling the trigger on the other man. He took a second, returning the gun to Rick.

I let out the breath I had been keeping in for a while and looked to Shane. He was still struggling with the door.

"Stand back, let it go." I yelled, aiming my gun toward the door this time. Shane nodded and let go, standing back to help me kill the walkers that began to flood the room.

One shot after another, they all fell until the prison was silent. Rick had turned the alarms off finally. We all took a moment to breathe a relieved breath before getting back to work.

"We still have work to do." Rick nodded, stepping over the dead bodies before walking away down the hallway.

At the end, Axel, Daryl and Glenn waved us over.

"This way, guys." Glenn whispered, pointing his flashlight the opposite way we came from. We followed close behind, stumbling upon two walkers eating off of a fresh corpse.

A lump developed in my throat as I realized who it was.

"Oh, T." I whispered, looking toward the exit door at Daryl. He bent down, picking up the scarf that Carol had been wearing on her head.

"Let's go." Rick pushed me slightly, trying to be comforting about it. I nodded and turned away from the body, walking outside to where Beth and Hershel were still.

Hershel yelled over at us.

"You didn't find anyone?"

"No," Rick shook his head, looking around the courtyard again.

"What about Carol? T?"

"I don't know... T didn't make it." I whispered loud enough for him to hear. He sighed.

"That doesn't mean the others didn't." Rick stepped in. "We have to go back. Shane, Glenn, Oscar, come with me-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the gate to our right began to open. Carl and Maggie stepped outside, a baby in her hands.

"No.. ." I mumbled, feeling the energy in my body drain completely. There was no sign of Lori, which tipped Rick off.

"Rick," Shane tried to grab him, but let go as he was pushed away. The axe that Rick had been carrying slowly slipped from his hand, making a small thunk as it fell to the ground.

"Where - Where is she?" Rick asked Maggie, watching her shake her head. She began to sniff, holding onto the baby closer.

"Oh, no! No, no, no!" Rick fell to the ground in a fit, sobbing uncontrollably. Carl was still, not bothering to look at his dad who had been crying.

Shane watched closely, trying to decide if he should comfort Rick or back off completely. He shook his head and pulled me close to him as I began to cry.

She couldn't be dead. There had to have been a complication with the birth, and she - she just...

The courtyard was silent, except for multiple crying sounds coming from Rick as he laid on the ground, yelling out. You could see the tears on his face, gleaming from the sunlight.

He seemed to have given up, which was reasonable at the time. Shane rested his hand on the back of my head, trying to soothe my soft cries.

Lori was dead, and I almost didn't believe it. Rick couldn't, that's for sure.

This day started out good, but now it was a shit storm that wasn't even over yet.


	13. Soothing Cries

For about ten minutes, we've been trying to get Rick to talk to us. Shane was crouched in front of him, waving his hand in front of Rick's face.

"Rick? You with us, brother?" Shane kept asking, repeating multiple times. Rick just stared ahead, almost as if he were brain dead.

"Let me see the baby." I looked to Maggie, holding my arms out. Lori's baby was wrapped up in the jean jacket that Carl had been wearing earlier, covered in blood.

Hershel hobbled to my side, smiling down at the child in my arms.

"She's healthy." He said, looking toward Daryl. "She'll need formula, and quick."

"We got anything here?" Daryl asked. I shook my head. "I'll go make a run then."

"I'll back you up." Maggie stepped forward, getting an approving nod from Daryl, who was starting to bark orders at everyone. 

"I'll go, too." Glenn held onto Maggie.

Daryl nodded and pulled Beth aside, looking to Carl. He whispered something I couldn't hear before yelling out to Oscar and Axel.

"You two get the fences. Don't let walkers pile up."

The two prisoners nodded, walking away to find new weapons they could use. I turned to look at Shane, who had already been staring at me.

Rick suddenly pushed Shane, standing up to go for the axe he had dropped moments ago. Maggie tried to stop him, but Shane protested.

"Let him go." Shane stomped his foot down. "He needs to wrap his head around what happened. He'll pull through."

"How can you be sure?" Glenn asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead away. Shane sighed.

"It's Rick." Shane replied vaguely. I looked down at the baby, rocking her back and forth slightly, trying not to upset her.

"Glenn, Maggie, vámanos." Daryl yelled and began to walk away toward the vehicles. I watched as Shane stood up slowly, joining me to look at the baby.

"Helluva fighter." He smiled, kissing my forehead.

"Hopefully they'll be back soon. I don't know how long she can go without food." I whispered.

"Don't worry."

"What about Rick? How long is he gonna stay in there?"

"I'll check on him in a few." Shane looked to Glenn and Maggie as they exchanged kisses. Maggie hopped onto the motorcycle with Daryl before they drove off.

Oscar closed the gates behind them and continued to clear out the walkers at the fences.

Glenn picked up a shovel, and trudged off toward the field. I assumed he would be digging graves for Lori, Carol and T-Dog at that time.

I sat down on one of the cement benches, Beth and Hershel following. They were staring at the baby with smiles on the faces. I then looked to Beth.

"Wanna hold her?"

"Can I?" She asked, holding her arms out to me. I slowly rested the newborn in her hands and stood up.

"Nice to see you two again." Hershel looked to Shane and I. Shane grinned, nodding his head. "Thought you were gone, back at the farm..."

"Nice to see you too, old man." Shane looked down at the leg that Hershel didn't have. "Run into some trouble?"

"Clearing out the cell block. I'm still kickin'."

"Tough s-o-b you are."

"You should let Lillian or I take a look at that gash you have there." Hershel pointed toward the rip in Shane's shirt. I began to panic slightly.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot about that-"

"I'm fine. We should really be looking out for Rick right now." Shane brushed it off, shaking his head to protest. I glared at him.

"He's in there doing whatever - he won't be out for a while. In the meantime, we should go get that fixed."

"You should listen to her. Girl's pretty smart - even a little infection in that can get bad." Hershel patted Shane's shoulder before returning to Beth's side.

"Stubborn old thing." Shane mumbled, following me into the cell block so I could clean up his wound.

As soon as we got inside, I shut the door and looked back to him.  
"Are you gonna go get Rick?" 

"Like I said, he needs time to cool off. No point in dragging him back if he's just gonna be...numb."

"Yeah," I agreed. I bent down and started looking through the bag Carl had brought in from the infirmary yesterday, looking to see if he had grabbed any needle and thread. "Take your shirt off."

"Yes, ma'am." Shane unbuttoned his shirt and threw it to the floor. He sat down on one of the benches in the common area, watching me crouch down and stare at the gash in his side.

I brought up my hand slowly, touching it. Shane winced, and looked at me as if I had shot him.

"Did a walker scratch you?" I croaked, trying to hope for the best. Thankfully, Shane shook his head at my question.

"No. Got slashed by a prisoner-"

"One of the dead ones?"

"Yeah. Guess I got too close. Is it bad?"

I nodded at him. "Gonna need stitches. Hold still." 

Pleased with the contents of the duffle bag, I picked up a spool of black thread and a needle that had been sealed in a package, which meant it was sterile. As I got the tools ready, Shane leaned backward on the table and smiled at me.

"What?" I asked, taking out an alcoholic rag to clean the wound with before putting stitches in. As I touched it to the tender skin, Shane jerked back in surprise.

"Shit." He whistled, returning to his slouched position on the bench. I laughed.

"Sorry."

Shane wiped his forehead and smiled at me again. Once the blood was cleared to where I could see, I started to thread the needle.

"Shane?"

"Hmm?"

"What do we do now? What's the next step to this?" I stopped stitching his wound for a moment and looked up. "How do we...bounce back from this?"

"We've made it this far, it'd be a shame to just give up." He almost immediately replied, wincing as I stabbed the needle through his skin.

I nodded and stood up, reaching over to the duffle bag again to grab some more square gauze and medical tape. I bent down once again and strategically placed it over his stitched up wound, taping the fabric to his side.

"That should do it."

Shane looked down at his stomach and nodded as he saw the tape.

"What would I do without you?" He smiled. I shrugged smugly and leaned down toward his face, giving him a kiss.

"Guys..." Glenn suddenly walked into the room, immediately turning around as he saw us kiss. "Sorry. I-"

"You're fine, Glenn." Shane scratched his beard, gesturing for him to walk back in. "What do you need?"

"I was gonna go look for Rick. It's been a while - figured you'd want to come with me?"

"Yeah," Shane sighed and stood up slowly as to not open his stitches. "I'll be back." Shane kissed me again before grabbing his shirt from the ground.

"Lead the way." He looked to Shane.

"Be careful you two." I called after them, turning away from the door to clean up the surgical mess I had made.

I trusted Rick to not hurt them, but at the emotional state he was in, you could never be too sure. 

(Shane's POV)

Glenn and I were making our way down one of the corridors, shining a flashlight every which way to find Rick. Hopefully he wouldn't try to get the jump on us; I really didn't need another stab would today.

Glenn relaxed his muscles a bit and jerked his head forward. Rick was standing at the end of the hallway, a bloody axe in his hand.

It looked like a massacre had splattered the walls, leaving blood and guts in the path.

"Rick? Man, you with us here?" I whispered, walking up toward him. He slowly turned his head, looking at me with violent eyes. His face was red, completely covered with blood from the walkers he'd just killed.

"Rick? We're all worried about you..." Glenn stepped over the bodies in his way, almost falling over. "You shouldn't be in here."

Blood was dripping down his face as he stared blankly at Glenn, tightening the grip on the axe. Glenn started to walk closer toward him, trying to talk some sense into Rick.

"You don't have to do this alone, man. We can help you. You just gotta - you gotta come on out and get cleaned up. Yeah?" I stood beside him as well, grabbing his attention.

I started to rest my hand on his chest, but before I was able to, Rick grabbed onto my shirt and threw me against the wall. Glenn held a gun toward him, not knowing if he should shoot. I waved him away and looked back to Rick.

"Shane..." he whispered wearily, blinking simultaneously as if he were trying to look at a blurry image. I nodded.

"Yeah, brother, it's me. You wanna go back out with us? See your new baby girl?"

Glenn stepped back and watched us, smacking the wall as Rick stared at me. My eyes shifted toward Glenn for a short second.

Rick shook his head and grabbed my shirt again, throwing me behind him with all the power he had. I stumbled, but regained my balance again before turning to watch him.

Rick began to walk away down another hall, not saying a word to us. Glenn seemed terrified, but I was trying to stay calm.

"Give him a few hours." I grunted, returning to the hall where we came from. All he had to do was cool off for a bit longer, then he could get himself cleaned up.

It surprised me, what he had become. A deranged psychopath would be the best title for him now.

Lillian met us at the gate outside, throwing her hands up slightly. She watched Glenn walk away.

"So?"

"He ain't coming out for a few more hours. Almost socked me; are Daryl and Maggie back yet?" It was already dark outside, which was quite a surprise. She shook her head and sighed at my question.

"Nope. They've been gone a few hours. The baby is getting fussy. We should go see if-"

Just then, almost on que, Glenn started to yell at Oscar and Axel as a motorcycle began to approach the prison. Lillian grinned and nudged my shoulder as she walked away into the cell block.

Daryl hopped off his cycle and bolted toward the cell block as well, ushering for me to follow.

He held the door for me, and started to grab cans of formula from his backpack for the new baby. As soon as we were inside, he handed it off to Beth and Maggie.

I sat on one of the benches beside Lillian and watched as Daryl picked the baby up and began to feed her.

"She got a name yet?" Daryl asked, turning to Carl, who shook his head no.

"I was thinking...maybe Sophia? Or Carol...Andrea, Amy. Jacqui. Patricia. Or there's Lori...I don't know." Carl turned away sadly and looked to me. I sighed, turning my gaze to the ground.

"You like that? Shh." Daryl was rocking the baby back and forth, trying to comfort her. Lillian smiled.

"You're a natural, Daryl." She whispered to him. They grinned at each other.

"Think so?"

The room was silent after a second, then Daryl brought up the commotion again.

"Little Ass-kicker...right?" He laughed. "You like that, sweetheart?"

Everyone agreed, which made Carl smile at the nickname. Lillian rested her head on my shoulder and sighed happily. Today was turning out to be the best-worst day in a while.

<><><>

The next day started out quiet. There were still no sign of Rick once eveyone began to wake up, which didn't come as a surprise to me.

Lillian was cutting open cans with Beth to get everyone fed before the day really began to begin. I stood in front of her, flipping through a phone book.

"Here you go," Beth handed a bowl of fruit to me. I thanked her and continued to look as she began to pass them out to others as well.

"Here," I grabbed Lillian's attention. "We can scout there. Drugstore, should have baby formula. Its an area with shops, there's a gun store nearby. We can search there for ammo."

She just agreed and looked to her left at Daryl and Axel. They were gathering tools to fix the generator, which Axel had walked away with. He was the only person here, besides Oscar, with experience.

The door beside the concrete tables opened slowly, and Rick walled through. Everyone was silent as they watched him walk toward Carl.

"Is every one okay?" He asked in a raspy voice. I stood up and made eye contact with him. Maggie nodded.

"Yeah...all good here."

"Are you okay?" Hershel asked.

Rick shrugged loosely and patted Carl on the back. "Just came to check in."

"Rick, we can help with the bodies. You don't have to-" Glenn was interrupted.

"No, no I do." Rick snapped, shaking his head apologetically at Glenn. He then turned to Daryl. "Everyone have a gun, a knife?" 

"Yeah. Runnin' low on ammo, though."

"Shane and I were gonna go on a run later, we found a strip of stores." Lillian looked to me and back to the crazed man standing in front of us. "Rick, are you okay?"

Without another word, he turned back around and left the room and everyone in it. Carl didn't seem phased but it, but that was the bad part.

Lillian sat back down and shook her head. I grabbed onto her hand and smiled softly, trying to comfort her.

"He'll come around." I whispered, trying to be positive. Daryl sighed deeply and stood up to check on Axel in the generator room.

"I'll go check on him." Hershel stood up from the table, alerting Beth and Maggie to his side.

"Daddy be careful." Beth whispered, trying to help him to the gate. Hershel smiled.

"I'll be fine, finish eating. He won't hurt an old man." Hershel laughed and disappeared through the same doors as Rick had.

"Oscar, Carl, let's go check perimeter." Daryl grabbed his gun and began to leave. Carl looked to me for assurance, which I nodded for him to go. It might do him some good to do something other than sulk around the prison.

Beth began to clean up the plates and bowls, trying to busy herself with different chores.

"We should go on that run now. The sooner the better." Lillian whispered before smiling at me. I nodded.

"Let's go, then." I grabbed onto my pistol before following her outside of the cell block. Glenn was already outside with Maggie, waiting to open the gates for us.

"I like this place a lot better than Woodbury." Lillian smiled, grabbing my hand as we got into one of the spare trucks. I nodded, agreeing with her.

"Me too. I don't know why; there's so much going on here all the time."

"Maybe that's why. You like a bit of a challenge?" Lillian laughed, nudging me a bit.

"With you," I scoffed at her remark. "Everyday is a challenge."

She hit my arm and rolled her eyes, looking away from me with a smile on her face.

"Asshole."


	14. Pass Me By

(Lillian's POV)

It didn't take long for us to get to the store we had marked on our map. The ride over was practically silent, considering we both had a lot on our minds at the moment.

I didn't want to speak, either. I was too tired and cranky, which quickly turned around as we got out of the truck to raid the stores.

Shane held out his gun, beating on the glass door before we decided to walk in. There weren't any walkers inside, thankfully. 

"Holy shit." Shane grinned as he opened the door. The shelves still had plenty of things on them, as if this place hadn't been touched by anything on the outside. Of course, it had been but we could only dream.

"Okay, ammo, batteries, baby formula and necessities." I nodded, reciting the shopping list in my hand. Shane nodded and began to take things off of the shelves.

"There's so much. Five cans!" I grinned, putting them into my backpack before turning to grab other things from the shelves.

Shane stood beside me, zipping different baby things into my jacket.

"I've been thinking for a while." Shane leaned on the shelf and smiled at me slightly. I raised my eyebrow.

"That's dangerous." I joked with him, grabbing a pack of pacifiers from the ground. Thankfully they were still in the package, or else they'd be pretty dirty.

"I mean...since we're somewhere safe now, once we get things going pretty well with a good system and have supplies coming in every day, I figured, if you wanted to, we could always have a baby ourselves."

I was stunned by what he had said to me. Shane, the big and tough guy, had baby fever now? Thanks to ass kicker back at the prison.

All I could do was smile, which tipped him off.

"What?" He was defensive and crossed his arms.

"Nothing. It's cute to see you have baby fever. Besides, Shane, we can barely care for the one we have right now."

"I know, but that's why I said once we have a good system at the prison. When everything is okay at the time-"

"I like the idea, trust me." I put my hand on his cheek and smiled. "I'll think about it."

Like I said earlier, I wasn't sure a baby would be the best thing to bring into the world right now. Sure, he said later but, who knows how long that could be?

Shane smiled shyly and nodded, continuing to search the shelves for different things we could take with us.

"We should get going now." I swept my hand across Shane's arm to get his attention. He nodded, and grabbed the backpack he had taken with us and began to walk toward the door.

"We hit a jackpot." I smiled, looking through the pack. "Lot's of goodies."

"Hopefully it'll suffice. We should get back now; we'll be just in time for dinner if we leave now. Straight shot home from here." Shane smiled back.

"And where is it that y'all are callin' home these days?" A voice yelled from behind us. Shane immediately dropped the backpack and drew his gun, turning around to face the mysterious man.

I did the same, staring at him as he whistled loudly. 

"Merle?" Shane glared, resting his finger on the trigger. I stared at him, then back to Merle. "You made it."

"Ho-lee shit!" Merle started to put his hands up, dropping the gun on the ground.

"Merle?" I questioned, realizing who this man was. I've only known one Merle in my whole life, and that was Daryl's brother when we were in high school. I doubted that he remembered me, though; it was such a long time ago.

"Can you tell me, is Daryl alive?" He asked Shane. I concluded that this man was, in fact, the same Merle Dixon that I remembered. But, a lot older.

"He is." Shane nodded.

Merle sighed and started to walk towards us, which made me angry.

"Back the hell up! Now!" I yelled, holding onto my gun. Merle grinned and stopped walking.

"What say you take me to him, and I'll call it even for handcuffing me to a roof?"

I remembered Daryl telling me that story months ago at the farm. I had practically praised Rick for doing so, considering I remembered Merle Dixon was always an asshole to me.

"Man, I don't owe you shit. I wasn't up there when you ran your mouth off. You did this yourself. Tell you what, though - I can tell Daryl you're alive. He can meet you here. Sort out whatever issues you have."

"See, I don't think that could work-" Merle grabbed a gun from his belt and took a shot at us, breaking the back window to our truck. I dove backward, but still ended up in his grasp as he went after me.

Merle held the gun to my head as Shane stood in front of us.

"Let her go! Merle Dixon, I swear to God I will shoot you-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Buddy, put the gun down. Put it in the car, now."

Shane was still, try to decide if he should comply or not. I was trying not to look scared, to impair his judgement at the moment. Slowly, Shane threw the pistol into the truck before holding his hands up.

"Get in, you're driving." Merle pulled me to my feet as Shane got into the driver's seat and started the truck.

"We're gonna take a little trip."

"You're not going back to our camp." I grunted, grabbing at his arm. Merle chuckled and shook his head at me.

"No, we're going to my camp. Let's go, vámanos." Merle pushed me into the truck, holding the gun to my head still. I looked at Shane as he ignored us and started to drive away.

Merle was giving us directions now, which seemed pretty familiar to me. I just wasn't sure how so.

"Left."

I looked to Merle with a glare as he stared ahead of us.

"Right."

I was pissed off at him for more than one reason, which hasn't let up since high school.

"Right."

I thought about killing him right there, or making Shane drive the truck into a ditch.

"Left...here."

Merle was barking out directions, and as we grew closer toward our destination I finally realized where we were heading.

Woodbury.

<><><>

(Shane's POV)

I was completely pissed off now. Merle and three other guys were leading me into a vacant room filled with old furniture, which I didn't know why.

Didn't Philip know we were here, who we are? Or has Merle kept that a secret?

Merle tried knocking me unconscious a few times, but quit after a while, which is why he brought the other three guys with him.

I was tied to a chair, and left alone with him as he stared at me.

"You don't even know why you're here, do you?" Merle snickered. I leaned my head backward, letting it fall as he started to talk again. I was already bored of him.

"I didn't want this to happen. All you had to do was tell me where my brother was." Merle leaned downward in my face. "In Atlanta, you weren't there. But you knew about it, right? Left me up there to die."

"We went back for you." I couldn't tell if he knew that or not. "All of us. Glenn, Rick, Daryl, T-Dog."

"Ahh," Merle grinned viciously. "T-Dog. Big ol' spear chucker - the one who dropped the key. Tell me where he's at. Sure old T would like to bury the hatchet. Let bygones be bygones."

"He didn't make it." I replied dryly, trying not to let him scare me. Merle Dixon was a dog who was all bark and no bite, especially back in Atlanta.

"And the rest? You can't tell me my baby brother is alive, then hold out on where he is."

"Sure, I can." I grinned, watching his face smolder.

Merle scoffed at me.

"Maybe your little girlfriend can help me out. Hell, isn't that the same girl who knew my brother? Years and years ago - tell me somethin'," Merle pointed the bayonet that was attached to his metal hand at my neck. I took a deep breath, staring at him.

"I heard y'all in the store. Baby fever, huh?" Merle was laughing. "Does she scare easy? Has she changed since high school? You sure as hell haven't - I remember you, too. Mr. Bigshot, bad tempered cop."

Merle stood up and walked behind me, throwing the blade across my throat as he started to push it inward, cutting off snippets of my air supply.

He waited for a minute and let go, returning to the front of me to scream at my face.

"I wanna know where the sheriff is!"

I lifted my head up slowly and smiled at him, headbutting his nose as hard as I could. He lurched backward and kicked the table as blood began to drip from his nose.

Merle grinned, letting blood into his mouth as he punched the side of my face, making me grunt with every hit.

"I wanna know where they're hiding!" Merle hit me again, and again, screaming at the top of his lungs. "Where the hell are they?"

After ten more punches, he was done. His hand was bleeding, and so was my face. I coughed, watching the blood pour from my mouth slowly.

He sat back in a chair and laughed loudly in my face. "Gotta hand it to ya'," he whispered. "You're a helluva lot tougher than I remember. Guess you finally grew a pair, huh?" 

I moved my jaw back and forth, trying to let it set right as I looked back to Merle.

"So tell me - where are y'all holed up?" Merle waited for an answer.

"Just a matter of time before they come lookin'. They've done it before." I laughed at him. Merle nodded.

"I'll bake 'em a cake, with pink frosting. Would they like that?" He was being sarcastic, and leaned toward my bloodied face. "Ain't no one coming to get you." 

"Rick will. Doesn't matter, 'cause I'm gonna kill you, anyway." I nodded, swallowing the blood oozing from my busted cheek.

"No. You can't kill me, all tied up like that, and Rick ain't comin'. Not unless he wants you and your girl back. I'm not in this alone, get that?"

"So Philip knows what you're doing?" I grimaced, watching him nod his head at me. I spat out blood and saliva toward him, shaking my head.

"Bullshit. Think you're so big and tough, with your stupid fuckin' metal arm. Lemme tell you somethin', asshole. It don't matter if he comes or not, I'm gonna slit your fuckin' throat and watch you bleed out on the floor."

I was angry. More so for Lillian, considering she was getting beaten just as badly. Merle laughed at me.

"You talk a lot of shit for a man who can't even move." Merle stared at me. "I'll have to go pay a visit to your girly in the next room, huh?"

"Don't you fuckin' touch her you piece of shit." I yelled trying to yank my arm out of the tape I was tied up with.

"I'd love to stay and chat with you, but I've got a few things to work out right now. Stay put - as if you can go anywhere." Merle walked out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Immediately I began to start clawing at the duct tape wrapped around my arms. If I was gonna kill that shithead, I'd have to get out of this room first. 

Almost as quickly as he walked out, Merle walked right back inside with a walker in his hands.

It was kept on a leash; the same thing Hershel had used at the farm to control the ones he found in the swamps. I then remembered how ignorant I had been about the whole situation, but I didn't let it mess withme anymore. That was months ago.

"Last chance." Merle yelled at me, leading the walker to where I was sitting. I shook my head and watched as he shrugged. 

He yelled something I didn't quite process before letting the walker go, shutting the door once again.

It instantly started toward me, pushing me backwards in the chair. We both fell to the ground in a heap, which I quickly came back from and stood up, arms still attached to the chair with tape.

I kicked it down again, buying me little time to get the chair off of me. I ran toward the wall, beating the chair on the stones.

The walker was relentless; it was trudging toward me again, extending its arms outward. I pushed the table Merle had sat on in front of it, beating the chair again.

In a second, it broke under the pressure, which surprised me. I took the lone wooden breakage and started to stab at the walker, missing the first time. Finally, with a jerk of my arm, I lodged the piece of broken wood in its head.

It slumped to the ground, which made me sink down the wall. I started yelling, relieved at what I had done, but now reality began to set in, and my adrenaline rush was dying down.

The pain on my face and abdomen were seething now, making me breathe harder than I should be.

I hoped Lillian would take less of a beating than I did. Or none at all.

<><><>

(Lillian's POV)

The whole time I could hear Merle scream at Shane through the tin walls, asking him where the camp was. He had taken quite a few hits from what I heard.

I didn't cry. Once again, my vision was slightly blurry, and my body was numb from the adrenaline in my veins.

I sat still in a chair, wincing every time Shane would yell out in pain. My wrists already had rope burn from where I had tried to escape with little to no luck.

Maybe if I just cooperated, they'd let us go?

Before I could decide what the best option was for our survival, the door in front of me opened slowly. Philip smiled brightly at me.

"Lillian. So glad you could join our party." He picked up the knife from his belt and started to walk toward me. I started breathing hard, not knowing what he was planning.

I nodded my head, trying to think of multiple sarcastic comments I could say to him. Trust me, there were a lot.

"Yeah, well. Thought I needed some fun for a change, eh?" My humor consisted mostly of tongue-in-cheek statements.

"Wouldn't be a party without you." He then sat down in the chair across from me.

"I already know you're at the prison. Who knows why we're even having this conversation, right?" He smiled at me. I tried to think of something, anything that could get him off my back.

"I should be asking you that." I croaked, trying not to cry. "Why are we having this conversation?"

Philip smiled at me again, showing off his teeth. His smile still creeped me out to the max.

"You up and left Woodbury. Took the truck, our supplies."

"You gave those to us!"

"Maybe. But the others won't believe that, will they? You're a traitor in their eyes; and Shane? He's held at a higher offense than you are. Punishable by death."

"He was your right hand, the only reason this place is standing right now is because of us. And Merle? When did you find him? It's been like three days, maybe a week." I snapped, turning my head away from his stare.

"Found him in the slums, just itchin' to find his brother. Daryl, right?" He grinned at me.

"Listen. The deal was that you bring back your friends, make Woodbury a better community. Stronger. You didn't deliver. Instead," he leaned back in his chair. "You took it upon yourself to stay. That benefited two people. You and Shane. Now, everyone here had to pay for your presence. Merle tells me you left him on the roof, hand cuffed, surrounded by biters."

I shook my head stiffly, shrugging.

"I had nothing to do with that."

"Sure," Philip nodded. "But Shane paid his due, and now so do your people. I could have a militia tear down those fences to get to them."

The entire time he was calm, which made me even more anxious than before. I scoffed.

"You won't find anyone there." I started laughing at him. "You idiot."

"They've relocated now?" Philip stared at the ground for a moment. "Where are they?"

"Why would I tell you? You'll have to fucking kill me before I tell you jack-shit." I barked at him loudly, hoping it made him angry.

Philip nodded at me.

"We'll try this another way, then."

"What are you gonna do? Hit me? You wouldn't hit a girl, would you, Philip?" I snickered, watching as he brought his fist backward.

In a quick jerk, his fist went flying into my face, making a loud cracking noise as it came in contact with my jaw. I started yelling out curses, watching the smile on his face.

"Fucking hell, man! I guess you will hit a girl."

Philip laughed, turning around to lean against the table as he stared down at me. My cheek had begun to bleed, but only a little bit.

"Where'd they move to?" Philip cracked his knuckles in my face. "Where they at?"

"Go to hell, Phil. Those guys are my friends, that's more than what I can say about you."

"Suit yourself." He punched me again, hard enough that he busted my lip open. I could taste my own blood now, and I did not like it.

"Might as well kill me, shithead." I spat. "Code of conduct, or some shit. Can't talk to you - don't wanna, either."

"You sound just like Shane. Tell me, could you hear him scream? He's in the next room, right there. Just waiting for a chance to get the jump on my men. He can hear you right now - let's put on a show, shall we?"

Before I could say a word, Philip punched my chest, making me start to wheeze. I felt so helpless - like I was stuck in one of those dreams where you can't fight your opponent, so you just sit there taking the punches.

Adrenaline had been rushing through my body prior to our encounter, which made life just a bit easier for me. My wounds felt frozen, like there was no feeling - no nerves in my body.

I didn't like the feeling, and embarrassment, of being tied up and beaten, especially by a prick like Philip. And just the thought that Shane could hear us; could hear me grunt, wheeze, and cough up blood onto the floor made me want to cry.

He had no business in this anymore, it was practically all my fault. I wanted to stay, I wanted to make things right with our old group. They're the closest thing I have to family now.

"You don't talk soon, I'll find that group myself and kill every last one of them." Philip screamed, turning his head upward. "Or...maybe I'll just chop off your hand? Bring in a walker, like I did with your boyfriend? That'd be quite a party."

"Fuck you," I coughed, stumbling over every word that came out of my mouth. "It's...it's only a matter of-of time,"

My lungs felt like they were collapsing with every sound I made, let it be a groan or a cough.

"Matter of time till what?" Philip crouched down, leaning into my face. "What do you think is going to happen?"

"I'm gonna kill you."

Philip laughed at me, throwing his head back as if I'd just said the funniest joke of the century. He then shook his head, turning on his heel to walk away from me.

"I'm gonna take a knife and stick it through your chest- twisting it into your heart. I'll leave you barely alive for the walkers to eat your limbs. Hell, I might just use your own gun to shoot you. I haven't decided yet."

Philip took one last look at me with a grin on his face.

"You've got plently of time to think it over."

"Bet your ass I do." He closed the door, leaving me alone in the room once again. I took a deep breath and leaned back in the wooden chair I was tied to and started to think.

"Lillian..." Shane yelled, which made me realize he was still alive. My heart rate quickened.

"Shane? I'm here, I'm...I'm okay."

"I gotta tell you something..." his voice was almost the same as my own; raspy, and quiet.

"What's that?"

"I call dibs on killing him."

I laughed, feeling my chest tighten and blood start to gurgle in my throat as I did so. I began to nod my head, feeling as if I were going to cry again.

"Okay. It's a deal."


	15. Big And Tough

Philip was holding onto my arm, almost leaving a bruise behind. He had Merle open the door next to the room Shane was held in, revealing Shane with a wooden stake in his hands, ready to strike once given the chance to.

"Howdy there, Shane." Philip smiled, looking toward me. "Lose something?"

Shane grunted helplessly, watching as Philip picked up his gun and held it to my head. I took a deep breath, crossing my arms. Shane was angry, clearly, but had no choice as to drop the stake he held in his hands.

Philip nodded, but quickly pointed his revolver at Shane.

"One of you are gonna tell me," he pulled back the hammer and held his finger on the trigger. I was so tired of everything this man had done to us in the past hours.

I tried thinking, and panicked as Philip held the gun closer to Shane.

"I-95!" I yelled quickly. Philip looked to me. "We're on I-95, in a-a giant, concrete building."

Shane soon realized what I had said, giving me a small nod of approval. Philip grinned.

"That's where you've moved to? That place burned down."

"No, we took it back. Built walls around it-"

"How many are there?"

"Hundred fifty. Lost count after a while..." I tried to sound glum, which was doing pretty well considering they believed me.

Shane spat out a blood clot, letting his gaze fall to the ground. I was struggling not to cry for real then, and looked down at the ground as well.

Philip wrapped his arm around me, staring at Shane as he did so. I tried to pull away, but his grasp was too strong for me, especially since my body had been weakened by his punches.

He kept whispering in my ear, trying to calm me down. My breath was staggering as blood dripped down my face onto my shirt, reminding me that my chest was bruised up as well.

Philip smiled, twirling my hair around his fingers before shoving me against Shane.

"You sick fuck." Shane mumbled, sheltering my body from the stares of the men in the room, watching them slam the door as I began to sob into the crook of his neck.

He immediately started to comfort me, cussing at himself as if he was the one who did this to me - to us.

"Why did I trust him? Why couldn't I see passed that stupid fucking-"

"Shane," I shook my head at him. "Stop. We can't do anything about it now."

I trudged toward the metal wall beside us and sunk down to the floor, which Shane followed and sat down beside me. He seemed as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't muster up the courage to do so.

"If we get back-"

"When we get back." Shane corrected, making me think about when Lori and Carol had talked to one another in the prison.

"When we get back," I nodded. "We need to have them move out. Once Philip finds out about that place, he'll go straight to the prison. I hope Virgil gets killed."

"And your brother?" Shane asked, letting me lean on him. To be honest, I had completely forgotten about my brother.

"Cole is smart, I think. He'll either fight or get out of there."

"And if they - if they band together? Decide to look for you? For everyone?"

"Do you think I've made a mistake?" I asked, not bothering to look at Shane. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the blood trail down his neck as he contemplated.

Shane hesitated, but finally shook his head at my question.

"No. I...I think you did what you thought was right. Those guys - that camp, it's a big waste. Everyone there has done something bad and as far as I'm concerned, your brother is with them. Made the same mistakes."

"We've all done bad things Shane. I have, you have...does that mean we deserve to die?" I chuckled, trying to wipe the blood from my face. "Maybe this is fate, it's karma. We should've been dead long ago, don't you think?"

"Stop that. Alright? We're here, we're alive, and Rick is looking for us. And-" he stopped talking, and grabbed onto my hand. "I'll be damned if that asshole gets to outlive you."

As much as I was able to, I smiled. I also think I've started to come to the terms that I was in love with Shane, and he was in love with me.

"I love you...so much."

Shane pulled me closer toward his chest and hugged me. His breathing was pretty shallow; I could tell he was in a lot of pain.

"I've got an idea." He suddenly tried standing up, leaning on the tin wall for support. I watched him closely, wondering what tricks he had up his sleeve now.

"We can, uh," Shane limped over toward the dead body, the walker, that he had killed earlier. "We could use the bones from this prick. Should break easily, right?'

"Oh, gross. Don't tell me you're gonna..." I stood up as well and sighed. "Ah, shit, Shane."

"Lillian," he grabbed onto the walker's rotted arm and started to pull on it. "Some things in life are just...right in front of you. Gotta take the chance, right? While it's stil ripe."

"Oh, he's ripe, alright." I held my nose closed. Shane laughed at my joke, and immediately began to pull on the arm once again.

"You should be careful, you're in a pretty bad shape." I rested my hand on his back, feeling the tension he was putting on himself.

"I'm...fine." he grunted, taking the left arm off completely. He smiled, and stomped on the elbow. A squelching sound made me want to puke as one of the bones stuck out from the broken skin. I could only imagine how bad that would've hurt, had the walker been alive at the time.

"Jesus." I groaned as Shane started to dig into the arm. He turned to me, a bloody arm bone in his hand.

"Don't be a pussy, Maxwell." He smirked at me. I scoffed, grabbing it from his grasp.

"I'm not a pussy." I stared down, a chill running up my spine. "It's, uhm...somethin'."

"Somethin' is all that we need, right?"

"Right."

Shane nodded and went digging around for another bone for himself. Honestly, his idea was pretty smart. Crazy, disgusting, bloody - but smart, nonetheless.

Footsteps began walking closer toward the door beside us, alerting Shane as he held up another piece of the dead walker. We waited patiently, trying not to make too much noise.

The door unlocked and began to open, making my anxiety simmer for a moment. The door swung open, and two men tried to walk in; Shane quickly pushed one against the wall, stabbing him in the throat with the bone.

I took on the other one, kicking his stomach. He was pushed backward, pointing his gun at me, firing it off toward my direction, thankfully missing me completely.

Shane quickly turned, tackling him to the ground. I bent down and stuck the bone through his temple, puncturing his skull.

I took a breath, avoiding Shane's stare as more men started running toward us. We stood up, standing beside eachother as they held guns at us, fingers on the trigger.

"Shit." I whispered, regretting what we had just done. Two people couldn't take on this many men, especially since they had machine guns.

Before anyone had the chance to make a move, a loud clunking sound rung through the building we were in, and some sort of grenade rolled in front of us.

Shane pushed me back as it went off, spreading smoke everywhere. I started to cough, trying to regulate my breathing as I reached out to find Shane.

He grabbed onto my hand, pulling me away from the chaos. Men started shooting off their guns, letting the bullets ricochet off of the tin walls behind us.

I opened my eyes, watching as Shane led me away out one of the exit doors. Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Oscar and Maggie were with one another, holding shot guns and pistols in their hands.

At that point, we were sprinting down an empty street, still in Woodbury. Shane was leaning on me, limping. Rick was keeping an eye on us, in case he went down while running.

I looked to my left, spotting a new women I've never even met before. She had a sword on her back, looking behind us regularly.

"In here." Rick opened a door to an abandoned building I hadn't seen before. Everyone quickly piled in, falling to the floor.

Oscar and Daryl kept watch, trying to find a different exit for us as I began to look around for something to stop the blood dripping from Shane's face.

"How'd you...how'd you find us?" I asked, almost completely out of breath. Rick brushed my question off, looking to Shane.

"You two look like shit. How bad are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." Shane coughed, spitting out blood onto the floor beside him. Rick scoffed, moving the curtains to a window away, staring outside.

"And you?" Rick had asked me. I shrugged sarcastically. 

"Better than he is, that's for sure." I looked around the room, holding onto Shane's arm as I did so. "Where's that women you were with?"

"Ran off." Rick shook his head, clearly disgruntled by her absence. Daryl stood beside him, trying to think of something to do in a split second.

"Probably got spotted; want me to look for her?"

"No," Rick looked to Shane and I. "We have to get them out of here. They're beaten pretty badly, she's on her own for now."

"Daryl," I looked up, getting his attention. "Your brother...he's here. He did this."

"Merle?" Daryl's gaze softened. "You saw him?"

"Yeah, he's the one who beat me." Shane whispered, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, man."

"Is Merle...is he this governor guy?" Daryl relaxed, setting his crossbow aside. I shook my head.

"No he's - he's someone else. Right hand or something, I don't know. He's dangerous, that's what he is."

"Does he know I'm still with you?"

"Yeah, he does now. Rick, they know where the prison is. They knew from the start, I - I'm sorry." There was nothing more for me to say, so I stopped talking and shut my mouth.

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." Rick nodded sympathetically. "We need to get back, can you walk?"

"Yeah," Shane grabbed onto the bar beside him, hoisting himself upward. I let him lean on me again, holding up his body in case he would tumble again.

"Woah, hold on!" Daryl stopped Rick. "If Merle's here I gotta talk to him! He's my brother, man."

"Daryl! That guy isn't your brother, he isn't the same person he's - I don't know. He did this to us, he kidnapped us, don't you understand?" I was a minute away from yelling at him, but I stopped myself.

Daryl was silent as he listened to me talk, looking to Shane to see the damage his brother did.

"We have to leave, Shane can barely walk. That governor guy is gonna be looking for us anytime - we're leaving. Don't make a stupid decision, your brother will still be here. He's tough, trust me."

Daryl took in a sharp breath and nodded, looking to Rick.

"Let's go."

Outside of the building was a complete warzone once we were in the middle of the street. Philip's men were shooting gun, and Rick had apparently brought more smoke bombs with him.

He started dispensing them, one by one as we ran down the street. Well, Shane and I hobbled behind everyone as they covered us.

Maggie was right beside me, turning every which way to clear out the men who were shooting out way, trying to get headshots, apparently.

Rick and Daryl were in the front, using shotguns to shoot people down, leading Shane and I toward an alley.

"Get down," Rick yelled, leaning against the wall, gun held high.

He bent down beside Daryl, trying to count his bullets as people began to scream.

"Any more grenades?" Rick asked, leaning to his left to look behind the corner, firing off a shot. A man screamed, which meant he hit them without even properly aiming. Pretty badass, if you ask me.

Daryl nodded, looking through a back pack they had brought along with them. I looked down at it, watching as he took a smoke grenade out.

"Five, 'bout to be four." He said, chucking the live grenade at the street. I watched it blow up in a cloud of smoke, making people start to cough up their lungs.

"Okay," Rick was panting. "There's too many people, we need to get out, fast. Lillian, get Shane to the wall. There's a car a few miles out we can get to."

"No, there's a gate to the north wall, down this alley. Who knows if it's guarded or not, it probably won't be. Streets been abandoned."

Rick stared at me as if I had just told him bad news, and blinked a few times. He quickly shook it off and nodded at me, getting his train of thought back on its tracks.

"Get him there. Daryl and I will cover you. Glenn, Maggie, Oscar - follow beside them, make sure they get out."

Everyone started running down the alley, holding their guns up in case of danger. Daryl threw another smoke grenade, waiting for a moment before he began to shoot again.

The gate was guarded, but only by two people. Oscar and Glenn took them out, easy-peasy, and started to slide the gate open. It took the two of them, but it was opened just enough so that we could squeeze through.

A group of different guards were running down the street, shooting simultaneously at us. As soon as we got out of the gate, all of us, Rick was startled by the mysterious woman I hadn't had the chance to meet yet.

"Where the hell were you? Put your hands up, now!" He gritted his teeth, taking the sword from its sheath as she held her hands in front of her body.

"Get what you came for?"

"I helped you get here, didn't I?" She hissed, practically fishing for a thank you. Rick smiled roughly.

"Thank you."

"Where's Daryl?" Glenn suddenly piped up, holding his gun. I did a 180º and stomped my foot.

"He went after Merle. That stupid son of a-"

"Lillian." Shane shushed me, jerking his head toward the samurai girl.

"You'll need help. To get them back to the prison - to find Daryl. I know this place better than any of you."

I scoffed, knowing that wasn't true. Shane and I knew this place better than she did, that was a fact. Rick gave me a sideways stare and nodded.

"Take Lillian and Shane to the car. Wait there for us,"

"No way!" I grunted, shaking my head furiously. "I need to go with you - to get Daryl. Take Shane, I'm fine. I can stay, I can fight."

Rick stepped up to me, tilting his head. Something he does when he's mad; I've seen him do it too many times before, I'd be a fool not to know what it meant now.

"Take Shane to the car. Now."

"So you can just - just walk yourself into a death trap? Just like that? Daryl is my friend too, I've known him a lot longer than any of you have-"

"Lillian, stop!" Shane pushed on my shoulder, grunting as he stood up straight. "Let's go. We can't get caught here, we're both hurt. Just drop it."

I was livid. Everyone was staring at me, treating me like a fussy child. Maybe I was acting like one, and just didn't realize until they slapped some sense into me.

I stepped off, nodding reluctantly at his orders. "Fine." I grabbed Shane's arm, wrapping it around my shoulders as we followed the girl away from them.

As we walked away, Shane whispered something to me.

"If we got caught again, they'd kill us. Individually it'd be worse, don't deny that."

"Who says I was going to get caught? I'm perfectly fine to fight."

"Don't push yourself."

"Through here." The girl pointed towards a patch of trees, helping Shane down the hill.

"What's your name, anyway?" I asked, staring ahead at her. She didn't even flinch and dryly replied,

"Michonne."


	16. Lying To You

We waited for what seemed like hours, which was probably only about two. Either way, I was getting worried.

Shane was laying in the middle of the road, trying to take a breather before we did anything else. His head was in my lap, his eyes closed as if he were asleep. He was still in pain, but it seemed to have died down a bit. 

I had found a bottle of water in the car, and tore off a piece of my shirt in order to start cleaning off his wounds. He was still, but I enjoyed the company anyway.

Michonne was leaning against the car, looking down at us as if we were going to pull a gun on her at any second. Clearly I was preoccupied at the moment, or else I probably would've.

She was a stranger, but Rick seemed to trust her, so I would have to, also; for now.

"Lillian? Shane?" I heard Rick say from behind the car. He was walking in through the woods. I held up my hand and waved, looking back down at Shane.

"Stay here." I lifted his head off of my lap and set it down on the makeshift pillow I made with a jacket I, also, found in the car.

I got up and started walking over to where I had heard Rick. He sighed. 

"We have a problem-"

Then I saw him, trailing behind. Daryl was fine, but it was his brother that concerned me.

"What the fuck is he doing here!?" I screamed, pulling out my gun on Merle. Everyone began to panic, bringing chaos our way.

Michonne pulled her sword out, yelling at Merle as well. I heard Shane walk up, resting his hand on my shoulder to keep balance as he started in the argument as well.

"This prick almost killed me!"

"Put the weapons down!" Rick yelled, making the area silent. I didn't move, keeping my finger on the trigger. Daryl stood in front of me, giving off an evil vibe.

Sure, I was glad he wasn't hurt, but why did he have to bring back his piece of shit brother?

"If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even be here!" I yelled, looking toward Merle again. Rick was too busy aiming his gun at Michonne, but kept yelling as well.

"Get that damn thing out of my face!" Daryl waved his hand in front of my gun, almost wacking it from my grasp.

"Go to hell!" I spat, keeping Merle in my aim.

"Everybody relax!" Rick yelled.

"Man, you see these?" Shane motioned toward his face, pulling his shirt open to reveal the cuts and bruises on his body. "That asshole did this, and now he's standing here alive?" 

"Shut the hell up!" Daryl yelled at Shane, making me flinch.

"Looks like you went native, brother!" Merle started laughing at Daryl, who immediately turned around to get a statement in.

"No more than you hangin' out with that psycho back there!"

"Yeah, he's a charmer, isn't he?" Merle nodded, laughing again. I'm thinking now that Merle was the psycho, along with his brother. "Been puttin' the wood to your girl Andrea. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Michonne fell silent, relaxing her grip on the sword she held.

"Andrea is in Woodbury?" Glenn asked, feeling even more confused.

"Right next to the governor." Daryl sighed deeply.

Michonne drew her sword again and went after Merle, but was quickly stopped by Rick.

"I told you to put that down! Now, you know Andrea?"

"She sure does. Her and blondie been cuddlin' up all winter. Mmm-mmm-mm." Merle was a pain in the ass, and I was so close to shooting him now. "Nubian queen here had two pet walkers; cut off the arms, the jaws, had 'em in chains - which is pretty ironic now that I think about it."

"Man, shut up!" Daryl snapped at his brother, shaking his head. My gun was still pointing at Merle, and Shane had now joined me, as well as Glenn and Maggie.

"Hey, man. We snagged 'em out of the woods. Andrea was close to dying."

"Is that why she's with him?" Maggie asked, lowering her gun. Merle nodded.

"Mhm. Snug as two little bugs. So, what you gonna do now, Sheriff? Now that you're surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards-"

"Shut up!" Rick yelled, looking back at Merle.

"Oh-ho. Look at this - pathetic."

"Merle, shut up!"

"No you shut up! Bunch of pussies, you roll up-"

Before Merle could say anything else, Shane had smacked him with the back of his pistol, knocking him down. Merle dropped to the ground like an anvil from a skyscraper, which made Daryl look to the ground; almost as if he were ashamed.

Everyone was quiet, until Rick nodded at Shane. A silent thank you, is what I called that.

"Asshole." I mumbled, putting my gun away in my jeans. Shane started hobbling back toward the highway, which made me follow him.

After a minute, we were all gathered together in the middle of the road, excluding Michonne, who was leaning against the car again.

"It's not gonna work." Rick stated bluntly. I was trying to clean Shane's wounds again, this time uninterrupted. Daryl sighed deeply.

"It's gotta."

"It'll stir things up." Rick shook his head. 

"Look, the governor is probably on his way to the prison right now, Merle knows how he thinks. And we could use the muscle."

"I don't want him at the prison," Maggie chimed in, letting Glenn talk afterward.

"You really want him in the same cell block as Carol? Beth?"

"He ain't a rapist!" Daryl scoffed.

"We can't have Merle there. It'll make everyone get at eachother's throats." Rick, again, shook his head to disagree.

"You wanna cut him loose, but bring the last samurai with us?"

"She's not coming back-" Rick was interrupted by Maggie.

"She's in no shape to be on her own."

"And she helped you find us. Right? She told me that." I turned toward the fighting crowd, shrugging my shoulders. I had told Shane it wasn't our place to say anything, but what a hypocrite I was, right?

"Then she ditched us." Rick seemed hostile toward me lately, and I wasn't exactly sure why.

"At least let me stitch her up,"

"She's too unpredictable." Rick whispered.

"That's right. Now Merle, he's blood." Daryl was back on that argument again.

"No, Merle is your blood." Glenn snapped. "My blood is here, my family. And back at the prison."

"And you're part of that, Daryl." Rick nodded his head. Daryl scoffed.

"Man, y'all don't know - you don't get it."

Shane and I were having a blast listening to them argue over something that was easily solvable. At least, to my standards.

"Fine. We'll fend for ourselves." Daryl was serious, which made me stop cleaning Shane up to listen more closely.

"That's not what I was saying," Glenn quickly added. Maggie shook her head.

"Daryl, you don't have to do that."

"No him, no me. It was always Merle and I before this, what difference will it make."

"So you're just gonna leave? Just like that?" Glenn crossed his arms, looking toward the ground.

"What's it matter? Lillian and Shane did it, why can't I?"

The whole conversation stopped, and all eyes were on us. Shane stood up from the car's hood, looking toward Rick.

"Daryl, shut up." I snapped, trying to change the subject. Daryl started laughing and shifted his gaze toward everyone.

"What? They didn't tell you?"

"Daryl, man, this ain't a path you wanna go down. Not here," Shane started walking towards him, almost limping. I got in front of them, trying to push their bodies away from each other.

"What's he talking about?" Glenn asked, looking toward me. I didn't say anything, but stared back at him with a solemn look.

"Oh-ho-ho!" Daryl rubbed his hands together. "Little miss priss over here, and her boyfriend, yeah, they left. They had no intention of comin' back that day!"

"You told him?" Shane looked toward me.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Daryl Dixon. Shut the hell up, now." I was centimeters away from his face, jabbing at his chest as I spoke loudly. 

"Shane?" Rick crossed his arms.

"Rick, it ain't like that." Shane shook his head. One of his cuts had started to bleed again, which I quickly noticed.

"What's it like, then?" Rick was making his way towards us now, holding his hand over the gun on his belt.

"Everyone, relax! Please, let us sort this out-" I tried to compromise, to make everyone stop talking over each other. I didn't do anything.

"Rick, that group, man. You didn't need me, didn't want me. What was I supposed to do? What I said wasn't the same as you and when you -" Shane gulped. "When you walked out of that truck back in Atlanta, I couldn't believe it - I didn't want to. Thought it was grief, my mind playing tricks on me now."

"So what? You packed up, left, let us all stay when that place was a death trap? Huh?"

"I didn't know what happened, I had nothing to do with the walkers. How the hell would I?"

"Where did you end up?" Rick looked toward me now. I didn't know if I should answer, but I did anyway.

As I spoke, I could feel every word from my mouth break the trust we had gained back, day after day, it was almost repaired and I shattered it with a measly sentence.

"We uh, we went to a house that night. Far in the woods, y'know? Quiet." My breath was shaking, and tears were rolling down my face again. "Then we eventually...ended up at..."

"Woodbury." Rick whispered.

"You were at Woodbury?" Glenn asked, taking steps away from us.

"Not then, when all of this happened. Not then. We ran into this gang, the Mercenaries...the same guys that Randall had been with. Their head guy, he's a piece of shit, let me tell ya'." I had to take a moment to breath, to gather my thoughts before they came up scrambled in my head.

"They kidnapped her, attacked Woodbury." Shane finished my sentence, crossing his arms. He and Rick were having a staring contest, seeing who was more serious.

"Virgil. That's the guy, the one who runs things. After that, Shane he...he saved me. We got out; the governor was different. He was more...vicious. It wasn't hard to spot."

"I did some runs for him. Was his right hand for a day or two until..."

"Until you found us. At the prison, that's why you showed up. That "group" you talked about, they were from Woodbury? You were there." Rick was pissed off, I could tell. I should've known that sooner or later, the secret would come out.

"We didn't want to do any harm. We didn't know it was you, until we showed up. Honest." Shane seemed as if he were going to cry as well, making me feel guilty. "And now we're here."

"It was my fault," I stepped up and took the responsibility. "I wanted to leave, that day after Randall. And I did, and Shane went with me and we - we stayed in Woodbury because of me."

"You knew about the walker fights?" Daryl asked, reaching for his knife.

What the hell was he on about now?

I sniffed, wiping my tears away at his absurd question. "The what?"

"They have people fight, surrounded by walkers. Had Merle and I in there, fightin' to the death in your shitty little paradise."

"No, no, no." I shook my head. "I didn't know anything about that. I didn't even - it must have started when we left there..."

"Bunch of things did, apparently." Rick nodded, looking to Shane.

"It's not her fault. I-" Shane stopped as Rick began to yell.

"I don't give a shit who's fault it is. We looked for you - three days. That's all we got out of it, then the farm went to shit. We were around for months. Living from place to place. Do you get what that's like?"

"Yeah, man, I do. We went from here, to here, to here, none of 'em safe. What were we supposed to do? Huh? Go back to the farm, say it was a big misunderstanding? That ain't how it worked, Rick. You know that." Shane and Rick were still at each other's throats, yelling at eachother.

I stood still, watching the ground as they argued even more. I didn't even know what to do at that point; beg to stay? Leave them again?

Everyone was silent, and still. Not moving, scared that if we did we would get the blame next.

"As far as I'm concerned," Glenn stepped in. "They're still family. They - they made a mistake, sure. They didn't ask for this, Rick. They were just kidnapped and beaten by a guy they thought they could trust. Maybe it's just me, but I'm sure they didn't ask to be beaten, and - and thrown to a walker, or humiliated."

I smiled weakly at Glenn, shaking my head at his attempt to redeem us from the hole we dug for ourselves.

"I'm with Glenn on this one." Maggie said, looking towards Rick.

"We'll leave if that's what you want." Shane whispered to Rick. "But you need our help. We know the town better than anyone here, and you're still my brother. Get that?"

Rick nodded his head, looking toward the two of us. I didn't know what to say, or if I should say anything to him. For all I know, it could piss him off more but now, I'm not so sure that was possible anymore.

"Alright," Rick nodded. "You're still family, you're my brother, Shane. Always have been, always will be. You trusted this guy, he betrayed you - so now we need a plan."

I nodded, laughing with some sort of joy as if everything in the world was right.

"As for you, Daryl..." Rick was beating himself up over his decision. "We can bring Merle back, but under my conditions. Got it?"

"Rick, man." Shane breathed out, looking towards the tree line at Merle as he paced back and forth. "He ends up dead in the middle of the night, that's on me." Shane mumbled the last part, only loud enough that I could hear. I nudged his shoulder.

"I'll go break the news." Daryl glared at me, pushing me out of the way as he walked away from us.

"He'll be in handcuffs. Lillian, Daryl and I can ride in one car with him, the rest will ride in the other. Glenn, Maggie, Michonne, Shane - that's you."

"No way, that shit bag isn't riding with Lil-"

"Hey," I looked over toward Shane, resting my hand on his bruised cheek. "I will be perfectly fine. I have a gun, he'll be in cuffs. Rick and I will ride front seat, Daryl can deal with him in the back."

Shane hesitated, trying not to flip out completely.

"She and Daryl know him better. I figured it'd make him less...irritable." Rick shrugged. Shane nodded his head as Merle and Daryl walked back into the group.

"Heard your little quarrel over here. Everything okay in candy land?" Merle asked, looking to me with a smile.

"Man, shut up before I knock you out again." Shane snapped. We watched as Rick put handcuffs on Merle, looking to Daryl. 

"Precaution. You, me, Lillian and Merle in that vehicle. Let's move out, alright?"

Daryl held his tongue, nodding. For once he didn't have some sort of hillbilly-redneck comeback to make? What a shocker.

Shane kissed my forehead a few times, muttering for me to be safe and keep a close eye in him before walking away to the other vehicle. I smiled, sitting in the front seat.

Merle was diagonal to me, so when I turned around he was in my sight and not hiding behind my seat.

"Why the hell aren't we leaving her and Shane? Huh?" Daryl spat, shaking his head.

"Last I checked, she didn't beat two people in the last five hours. Neither did he." Rick started to drive away towards the prison.

"That's the last time I tell you anything." I whispered angrily at Daryl.

"Good. Don't wanna hear any of your bullshit anyway."

"Miss priss, huh?" Merle chuckled, looking over at me. "Name fits 'er."

"Shut up. At least I'm not in handcuffs." I snapped back, looking over to Merle.

"Oh, you wanna be? That's how you like it?" He grinned, giving me a slight wink.

I rolled my eyes at his disgusting, yet humorous remark. It was only funny when I didn't hate the person saying it, which is usually the case.

"Enough, all three of you." Rick stopped our bickering and looked over to me. "What sorta things do you know about the governor?"

"Not much." I sighed, raising my eyebrows. "His name is Philip, he gave Shane and I and apartment, he's a complete asshole who can't take a joke." I remembered back to the sex joke Shane had made, which Philip didn't find funny. He was mad, even.

"You know a lot about Woodbury?"

"Sure. Know the places, the buildings, one or two guard rotations."

"Your turn, Merle." Rick looked through the rear-view mirror at the man. "What's the whole, uh, deal with this Philip guy."

"Grade A asshole."

"Oh, so, are you three related?" I smiled sickly sweet, turning back around in my seat.

"Haha, you're a real bitch. Y'know that?" Merle mocked me, making faces as he spoke.

"Stop. Back on target, let's hear it."

"You pissed him off. You get that? He's gonna bury you and your friends, what's left of 'em. He's gonna show up at that prison-"

"Not for a while." I interrupted him, looking to Rick. "I told them we relocated to an old camp, the Mercenary camp on I-95. Should be looking there first."

"What the hell did you think that would accomplish?" Daryl asked, yelling at me from behind my seat. I looked up at the mirror, staring straight at him.

"It bought us some time. If not, we can prepare the prison. Leave, if that's what it comes to."

"We're not leaving." Rick grunted, making it very clear he wanted to stay there.

"Won't that make these Mercenary guys mad? Huh?" Merle asked.

"They already want my head on a silver plate. Trust me, they can't get anymore pissed off at me now. That guy, Virgil, he burned down my camp. He killed innocent lives and for what? To prove a point."

"And if they get together? Decide to take us down? How many people they got all together?" Daryl asked, trying to sound sincere when asking nicely.

"That'd be about...two hundred people. Maybe..." I whispered.

"Why do they want you dead anyway?" Rick then asked, taking his eyes off of the road for a split second to look my way. I sighed.

"Well, I sorta killed a bunch of their guys. They think Shane is dead, so they're after me now. I don't even - I don't know, if Virgil finds me, if he'll even want to kill me."

"You're just pissing everybody off aren't you? What the hell happened since high school?" Daryl scoffed.

"I was pissing people off even then. Don't you remember, Daryl? All these years I've been in med school, and you've had a stick up your ass about it."

"Back the hell off." He retorted, pointing his finger at me. "You didn't even visit or-"

"And a "badass" like you would even want me to? If I did that, I wouldn't have been able to find you anyway. Where the hell would I look? The morgue, probably, with those people you were running around with in highschool."

"Not everyone gets a free ride to college with the money their daddy made, huh? Pay for it all out of pocket."

"I worked my ass off for those scholarships, Dixon, you know that for a fact."

"Can we stop this? Please, Jesus, it's like I'm running a daycare service in this damn car." Rick shut us all up, turning down a different road.

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. I turned my head, looking out of the the window at the different walkers as they trudged through the grass.

I was not looking forward to Merle's visit at the prison at all, and I'm sure everyone else could agree with me on that.


	17. Plans

We were sitting in the cell block, arguing over what our next move was from there. Rick was still mad at Shane and I, but soon brushed it off as Michonne started to explain what she saw in Philip's home. I've only been in there once, and it seemed normal enough. From what she was saying, I had been wrong. 

"He had fish tanks in a back room...filled with walker heads. Human and regulars." She explained to us, keeping the group on edge between pauses.

"Worst of all..." she took a deep breath. "He had his daughter in chains. Not her, but the walker. In a cage...then we got into a fight, I smashed the tanks and stabbed him in the eye with a, uh, piece of glass."

"Great." Glenn looked towards Rick. "This guy is a bigger psycho than we thought."

"Why didn't you kill him?" Carol asked, shaking her head. I somewhat agreed with her, but he'd probably get out of that somehow.

Michonne just shrugged, sitting down so Hershel could stitch her wounds up. I was too busy working on Shane at the moment, so he stepped in.

"What's the plan then? We wait for him to come to us? We go to him?" Shane asked.

My mind was literally filled with at least twenty ideas, none of which anyone would go for if I suggested them.

So I took a chance, and picked a random one. I didn't even think before I spoke; it just came out.

It was one of the bad ideas.

"I could go see the Mercenaries." I blurted out, keeping my eyes on Shane's wound I was stitching up.

"Are you crazy?" Shane shook his head. "There's no way-"

"Hold on, Shane." Rick looked at me then, trying to figure out what I was trying to say. "What are you suggesting?"

"Rick, this isn't-"

"I could go to them. They have more men than Woodbury does, us two combined, even. I could make a deal, have them work with us instead of against."

"You said they wanted to kill you." Daryl scoffed, brushing me off as if I were a child once again.

"Yeah. They do, that's a risk I can take. I know Virgil now, okay? He'll either help, or laugh in my face. Besides..." I stood up from the bench and crossed my arms.

"My brother is at their camp."

"Cole?" Daryl laughed. "That stupid son of a bitch is still alive?"

"Yeah, that stupid son of a bitch is alive. And he's there - he's friends with Virgil. If I can talk to him, too...maybe I can convince them of something."

"It's worth a try." Rick shrugged, looking to Shane. He had been shaking his head at my idea, saying he didn't want to risk my life for something that could be solved with the death of the governor.

"Man, you don't understand - she is the only thing I - Rick. You can't let her do that." Shane tried standing up and, with lots of effort, finally got to his feet.

"No, Shane. I'm trying to keep my family safe and if this could help, even a little bit, I'm gonna take that chance. She said she's capable of doing it, so I'll let her."

"This isn't about what happened at the highway, this is her life. All that aside, it's a bad idea. They kidnapped her. You get that?"

"Guys, stop. Goddammit, you're acting like I'm precious cargo-"

"You are, that's what you don't get." Shane huffed, rubbing his temples as if he had a headache. I smiled and took his hand.

"I'll be fine. Perfectly." I looked to Rick, then, and sighed. "When should I go?"

"Whenever you're ready. The sooner, the better."

"I'm ready right now."

"Pack a few things, I'll give you one of the radios to take. If you run into any trouble, we'll be waiting in a car a few miles out." Rick patted my back, walking away into the cells.

"And if Governor is already there?" I heard Merle yell from one of the cells we had locked him in. Daryl was sitting by the door now, telling merle to shut up.

"We'll see him," I shrugged, looking to the top floor at him. Merle laughed, clinking his metal arm on the bars.

"Oh, you're in for a real shit storm. You ain't the same girl in high school, I'll tell you that."

"You're damn right." I snapped, turning to walk up the stairs, strolling over to where he and Daryl were sitting.

"We wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for you runnin' off again." Daryl huffed at me, shaking his hand as he spoke.

"And you and your jack-ass of a brother wouldn't be talking, huh? Don't be an asshole to me, if anything I helped you."

Daryl stopped talking, shaking his head at Merle who was riled up now.

"You got a real mouth on you, don't ya'? Why don't you come over here and use it-"

"Man, shut up. You're in enough trouble as is." Daryl screamed, alerting everyone close to us.

Before I could say anything else to them, Rick and Shane called me down the the ground floor. Daryl glared at me.

"Get the hell out."

I turned on my heel, going back the way I came and met them down stairs. Shane was holding onto his chest, still thinking this was a bad idea.

"We started something last night, it's your job to end it. Make those people help us." Rick handed me a bag, jerking his head toward the door. "Let's go."

Shane and I followed him outside of the cell block, walking over to the same car I rode in this morning with the Dixon brothers.

"Shane, stay here. You're in no shape to be moving around a lot, if you put too much stress on you'll be dead soon."

"It'll be for a good cause." He smiled at me.

"I'll talk to you on the radio when I get there. Don't check in unless I talk first, I don't want it going off."

Shane simply nodded, enveloping me in a hug. He took a deep breath and leaned in, kissing me.

"Stay safe. If that asshole hurts you-"

"I'll be fine." I nodded, trying to reassure him to the best of my abilities. "Get some rest."

He smiled, and let go of me, watching as I stepped into the car, along with Rick. I waved, saying goodbye, then we were on our way to the Mercenary camp.

Rick looked toward me, smiling.

"He's really in love with you. Never seen him so..." Rick shrugged, trailing his sentence off somewhere else.

"It's nice to have someone to hold on to now. I never got the chance to say thank you, for not leaving us on the side of the road back there. You had every right to-"

"Lillian," Rick chuckled, shaking his head. "What you did, it was shitty, but it's not like you knew what Philip was doing. Why would I leave you?"

I didn't have an answer for that. He was mad about us leaving, but I didn't think that would be a reason to exile us from the whole group.

"I don't know. There's just...unknown reasons. If that makes sense."

There was a long silence in the car, until I sighed. I felt comfortable around Rick, and silences weren't something new when talking to him.

"Shane has changed a lot since the farm, over these past months. What'd you do to him?" Rick asked, smiling at the thought.

"Got on his nerve." I laughed, looking toward the windshield. Rick chuckled and nodded.

"He seems less tense. Thank you for that. I'm also glad he finally found someone, y'know, back before this he was just running around with different girls. Didn't want to settle down anytime soon."

That came as a surprise to me. He said he had different girlfriends here or there, but that didn't seem out of the ordinary to me. Every guy had something like that going on, didn't they?

"He told me, before we were uh, kidnapped, he said if we got the prison secured and everything was fine then, that we should have a baby of our own. Don't tell him I told you that, he's trying to put on a tough-guy routine now."

"He said that?" Rick grinned, nodding his head. "I think it's a great idea. After we get done with the whole, uh, governor fiasco. We could put up more than fences, build them up to be walls too. Maybe start growing our own food?"

"Won't have to go on runs as much as we need to now."

He was going to start building the prison up to be a fortress; impenetrable. I loved the idea of it, but it would take a lot of work to get there. And, who knows, we might have to leave anyway.

"We should stop here. It's a mile or so away, give or take a few, I can walk."

"You sure?"

I nodded, watching as he stopped the car in the middle of the road. He turned the key and looked back to where I was sitting in the passenger seat.

"I'll wait around a while, just to make sure you're safe as far as I can see."

"Thank you, Rick. I appreciate it."

He nodded, watching as I shut the car door behind me. If I wanted Virgil on our side, I'd have to make helluva good argument toward it.

He was still pissed about me leaving, no doubt. Not sure what he expected though; if you kidnap someone, they'll want to leave the first chance they get. Its pretty much just common knowledge.

Honestly, I didn't even have a plan. The best I had at the moment was to stroll up to the gates, and ask for some forgiveness. As if it'll even be granted.

Who knows, I might even get shot on sight for even trying. All I had to do was wait and see what I would think of on the spot, standing in front of the gates as if I owned them.

I waved at Rick and started walking up the street. It was covered with dried blood and dead leaves from this past winter season.

My heart was racing as I walked, breathing in and out deeply. Having severe anxiety was a pretty bad trait during the end of the world, let me tell you. Although, when I'm supposed to make a decision in a split second, it practically slows down time.

One of the perks of having a dysfunctional mind, I suppose.

<><><>

(Shane's POV)

After Lillian left, I tried to make myself useful around the prison. For some reason, I felt completely out of place amongst everyone now. They saw me as the bad guy now, I think.

Maggie told me to take it easy, which surprised me that she cared even a little bit. I would've assumed she was mad at me for busting open the barn at her dad's house, but she seemed to have moved on.

Maybe it was just me who had trouble letting things go. That seemed to be my problem these days.

I started reloading the guns they kept locked up, in case we needed to use them anytime soon. Knowing Philip's intentions, we probably would need them.

It was literal hell not being able to help around anywhere because people felt as if I were a baby bird with a broken wing. I didn't need pity, I needed something to take my mind off the fact that my girlfriend was walking into a death trap.

That was a weird word to use now; girlfriend.

It was like before the disease, when things were seemingly normal. Except, like Lillian says to me all the time, there's no going back to change anything. We needed to live in the now, and right now I hated everything.

Especially Rick, who let her go in the first place. I didn't get the chance to meet any of the Mercenaries, besides Randall, but I wasn't fond of any of them. If you had to kidnap a girl, you're a lowlife and that's a fact.

Sure, we probably wouldn't have spoken nicely to them, but that doesn't mean they'd have to run through a camp's walls and gun down innocent people.

"Shane," Glenn grabbed my attention. They were trying to map out Woodbury now, on the ground, with a piece of chalk to the best of their abilities.

I leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees before breathing in deeply. My entire body ached, badly.

It was a slight set back that I had a limp, but didn't stop me from acting like the big and tough guy I did back at the farm, and at Woodbury.

I walked over to where they were huddled, and sat back on a table near them. Glenn was asking the questions, since Rick was gone at the moment.

"You sure this is where his apartment is?" Glenn asked the new girl, Michonne. She nodded, holding her hand out toward him. Glenn hesitated, and handed over the piece of chalk.

She then got to work, mapping out the different gates and alley ways. She drew a circle where the arena was, then I sighed.

The same place that Lillian and I had sat, looking out at the people as they walked by. The same damn field we were in.

"That gate," I started in, pointing down at the drawing. "The gate we came out of earlier. The one with a single guard rotation."

Michonne nodded her head, drawing a different building I hadn't seen before.

"He kept the walkers back here."

All eyes looked to me, but I was more focused on the new building.

"Kept walkers?" Maggie shuddered.

"In a cage, the ones he used for the arena." Michonne looked back at me. "Did you know he did that?"

"Nope," I said bluntly, leaning back. "I didn't."

"You were here for what, three days before he attacked you guys. And - and he got all that done within those three days?" Glenn didn't seem convinced of my story. This time I wasn't lying to him though.

"No," I narrowed my eyes at him. "You saw what I did at the farm, you really think I'd want to keep those shitbags locked in a cage? Bait 'em, use 'em to make people fight, and for what? Entertainment?"

"Right." Glenn whispered, getting back to the plan before. No one here trusted me as much as they did Lillian, and that was perfectly fine with me. I wouldn't trust me either, what with the lies I've told to save people and the things I've done.

Didn't make a difference to me.

I leaned back once again, trying to keep my temper to myself before I yelled. That's something we didn't need.

"So, we execute him-" Glenn was interrupted by Carol, who disagreed.

"Execute?"

"Yeah, Carol. You saw what he did, right? Look at Shane," Glenn pointed to me. "He's hurt, a lot."

"I'm fine." I grunted. "Philip didn't do this to me, nah man, it was that prick locked up in the cell." I yelled loud enough so Merle could hear me, and looked to Carol.

"His name is Philip?" Glenn scoffed.

"Glenn is right, though. We should kill him, so he can't do anymore damage." Maggie nodded her head at the idea.

"And his right hand? He'll take his place, want the same thing, do we kill them too?" Carol asked, crossing her arms. I nodded my head stiffly.

"And the next, and the next, and the next - however many guys it takes for them to leave us be."

"I just don't think it's right."

"You got any better ideas?"

Carol was quiet, then shook her head. I wanted to laugh, but didn't.

"That settles it then. We're going after this guy. Tonight?" I stood up, grunting. My joints were stiff from sitting so long, and my chest was killing me from the sudden pain.

Everyone agreed.


	18. Hit And Run

(Lillian's POV)

It was easy, the walking part. But as I waited at the front gates, my entire body was shaking with a deep anxiety that I had never experienced like this before.

I was standing still, holding tightly on to the backpack straps as a guard stepped onto a platform above me.

"Who the hell are you?" They snorted, pointing their shotgun at me. I took a deep breath, trying not to freak out and run away.

"Lillian. I'm looking for Virgil." I managed to say, looking up at the man. He turned his head and said something that I didn't quite hear.

"That so?" The man laughed. "He's busy."

"Tell him to get his ass out here."

"You wanna watch that mouth? Or am I gonna have to shoot it off you?" He yelled, just as a women appeared as well. She then pointed her own gun at me.

"Can you just - please? It's urgent, he'll know who I am." And the only reason for that is because he wants to kill me, most likely.

The women pushed some sort of button beside her, and the gate began to lift itself upward. It was cool to watch, but I soon got bored of how slow it was.

I looked beyond the gate, and saw that Virgil was trudging toward me. Muscular, dirty, and pissed off.

"What the fuck are you doing back here?" He screamed, taking the pistol from a holster on his belt. I crossed my arms, jolting as he took a shot at the ground beside me.

I stood still, smiling at him.

"Is this how you treat all your guests?" I asked, holding my hands in front of me. Virgil laughed, mocking me.

The women on the platform jumped down, and began to frisk me for any weapons. The pistol I had, she took, and gave to Virgil.

"This is one of mine." He mumbled, pointing to the silver M that had been drawn on with a Sharpie. I nodded my head, trying to be confident.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you." He walked closer, resting the gun on my forehead. "Tick-tock."

I took a second to stare at him, looking straight into his eyes as he did to me.

"I need your help." I muttered quietly. He smiled, cupping his ear as if he didn't hear me.

"What was that?"

"I need your help." I yelled at him, crossing my arms. Virgil nodded his head, taking the gun from mine. He then grabbed onto my arm tightly and pushed me into the camp, telling the woman to close the gate behind us.

"What's this you need help with, my dear?" He chuckled lightly, and started walking away towards the giant concrete building.

I followed him closely, trying not to get left behind. "It's complicated."

"I gotta ask, how the hell did you get out of my camp? There's guards, um, pretty much everywhere."

"I had a friend help me get out. Your security is shit, by the way." I rolled my eyes at him, immediately taking a breath. "I know you hate me, but I have a favor to ask."

"Oh, ye' want a favor?" He mocked me, once again, and opened the door to his own room. "We can talk inside."

I stepped in and started to look around, lingering beside the doorway as Virgil started to pour himself a drink. The room was almost the exact same from the last time I had been here, but he now had a pile of grenades inside of a bowl on the table. Classy. 

"God, I should fucking kill you." He groaned, taking a shot of his liquor. I laughed at him.

"So, do it then." I took my backpack off and put it on the floor beside me. Virgil shook his head, sitting down on the couch.

"Nah. You're too pretty." He winked at me. And, here comes that disgusting feeling in my stomach that makes me want to vomit. 

"What do you want, Lillian? You didn't come back here just to rub it in my face that you left, did you? I'll really have to kill you then - what happened to your face?" He was talking fast, changing the subject almost every second.

"That's why I'm here,"

"You want me to kill the guy who did it? Probably already done, killed a lot of people lately." He cackled, turning serious in a mere half second. "Sit down, tell me everything."

He seemed giddy for some reason, and I didn't exactly want to know why, considering I also didn't give a shit.

I did as he said, and sat down in a chair across from him. I watched as he took another drink from his glass, smiling at me as he waited.

"There's this camp, this guy,"

"He didn't happen to, uh, show up at my doorstep this morning, did he? Said he was looking for you and your friends, wanted to kill you."

My heart practically stopped beating as he said that.

"What did you tell him?" I whispered, stopping in my tracks. He thought about it a bit more before saying anything.

"Told him to fuck off, didn't know where the hell you were, sent him on his merry way. Easy-peasy."

"That's why I need your help-"

"I knew I should've killed him."

"Virgil, listen to me, goddammit." I slammed my fist on the table to get his attention. "This is serious!"

Virgil stood up slowly, staring down at me. I took a deep breath, bracing myself in case he would hit me.

Instead, Virgil crouched down beside me, leaning against the chair to support himself.

"Talk faster, then." He shrugged, standing up to fix himself another drink. I followed him across the room, sitting down in a stool at the bar he had.

"How many people do you have here?" I asked, tapping my finger on the countertop. Virgil sucked in, shrugging loosely. 

"Two hundred twenty five all together, ninety in this camp." He started to pour me a drink as well. "Roughly."

"That's perfect!" I exclaimed, clasping my hands together.

"For what?" He questioned, sliding the glass cup to me. I held it in my hands, staring down at the bourbon inside of the cup.

"That's what help I need. That guy who was here, he did this to my face," I pointed at my cheek, and at the stitches Hershel gave me. "Now he's targeting my camp. We don't have enough people-"

"How many people you got?"

"Twelve...thirteen?" I waved my hand around. "Somewhere around there."

Virgil busted out in a fit of laughter, making me roll my eyes. He banged on the counter, wiping away a tear from his face. I wanted to slap him, to tell him that he's being an asshole again.

"Shut up. We have a baby there, too! A newborn, born about three days ago."

Virgil stopped laughing and looked straight at me, his face was still red from his howling. He was serious now.

"Fuck." He looked away towards the door, staring off into space. "Okay, you want my men to help you? Is that why you're here?" He questioned, looking back over to me.

"Yes," I nodded desperately. "You have more people than they do, and the soldiers they have are only about twenty people. You have more here, in this single camp, than they do in total. Please, help us."

I felt so stupid for begging him, but it was the only thing I could think of doing at the moment that could convince him to help us.

"It'll cost you. My guns, my man power - gotta pay for it." Virgil nodded. I think that meant he was willing to help now.

"What do you want?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at him. I was scared of the conditions, knowing the other games he had played when I was here before.

"Your camp, how big is it?" Virgil inquired, leaning on the bar in front of me.

"Pretty big. Do you know that prison, the uh, the one near Nunez? That's where we're at. Why?"

"Shit." Virgil whistled, clearly jealous. "That place is damn near huge." 

"Yeah," I nodded. "And it's ours."

"Tell you what," Virgil downed the last of his drink, before pointing at me. I stared at him, waiting. "I'll help you, but I want a deal. There's people I need to look after. Women, children, elderly - get where I'm heading? We could help you out, keep the prison, uh...flourishing. I could give you some of my men after as well, to help guard the prison and everyone in it. Yeah?"

"You want to move them there? With us?" I was surprised the Mercenaries had anyone other than men who were capable of fighting. These women, children, elderly - they didn't sound like soldiers to me.  
"Don't you have a bigger camp than this one?" 

"Nope." Virgil scratched his beard. "This the biggest one we got. I have people I need to look out for as well. This is our biggest place, most of my soldiers are here, and I have people spread around at different places. I want them all together, in one place, where I can help them out more. Understand?"

I nodded, but something didn't feel right about this.

"You don't get to be the douchebag who takes over our camp instead." I could see it now; we help them, let them stay with us, and Virgil takes over the prison as if it were his in the first place.

"You have my word. I don't want to be there, I want my people there."

"Your word doesn't mean shit to me!" I yelled, turning my head away from him.

"That's fair." Virgil nodded, standing up. I watched as he began to walk away from the bar, and toward his door. "Nice talking to you, then."

"Wait, wait, wait." I pinched the bridge of my nose in pure annoyance, trying not to yell at him anymore.

Virgil slammed the door shut, returning to where he had been standing.

"Okay, I need to talk it over with everyone first. I can't make the decisions for them, it's not mine to make."

He grinned wildly, nodding his head along with my words. He clapped his hands together as if we had just won a medal for the Olympics.

"Muy bien!" He laughed happily, turning to look back at me. I ambled toward the backpack I had brought, digging through it in order to find the radio Rick had given me earlier.

"Don't talk," I pointed out to Virgil. He nodded, and poured himself another drink.

I pressed the button, and sighed.

"Rick."

I waited for an answer, looking over toward Virgil as he swirled the liquid around in his cup.

"I'm here. What's the matter?" Rick's voice was static-filled, but I could still hear what he was saying through the speaker.

"He agreed, but on a condition."

"Which is?" I could see Rick's eyebrow twitch, even if he wasn't standing in front of me. It was sort of a mannerism I had noticed he had, much like shifting his weight, or tilting his head when arguing.

"Shit, okay, um, he has people he wants at the prison. Women, children, elderly people. Virgil says that's his condition - he said he'll even throw in more people to help out at the prison. Guard the place, do work - shit like that."

I waited for a response, and looked over to Virgil. He wasn't paying much attention to me, and had been staring outside the window the whole time I had been talking to Rick.

It took a while for him to reply, which I just assumed he was talking it over with everyone else before making a final decision. I could virtually hear the responses.

Glenn and Maggie would think its a good idea, just because there's children. Beth and Carol would think the same.

Shane and Daryl would think it's a bad idea, only because they couldn't trust Virgil.

Hershel would be weary of it, but willing to try it after a few minutes of being convinced.

And everyone else couldn't give any more fucks about the fate of the prison, and the people in it

I, for one, thought it was our only option to getting the man power we need to take down Philip and his whole gang of cretins. This was the only good idea any of us had, and it was probably going to be one of our last if we didn't go for the opportunity while it was still open.

Virgil raised his eyebrow at the looming silence, turning to me as if I had control over when they spoke.

"Do I need to...sweeten the deal?" He sat down on the couch, shrugging his shoulders at me.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Why? Whatcha got?"

"I'll let you take your brother back, if that's something you want to do."

"How'd you-"

"It's obvious - you both look alike. And he said he had a sister, blah blah. I just put two and two together." Virgil leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. "He's my most loyal man here. It'd be a shame to watch him go, but if that's what it takes."

"Let me talk to him first." I stood up from the floor, dusting my pants off a but before sitting in the chair across from him. Virgil smiled at me.

He stood up, strutting away from me and toward the bed across the room. He started digging around in a nightstand beside it, taking a radio from it.

"Cole, barracks, please. I got something for you." He said into the radio, looking back to me with a smirk.

"Affirmative." I heard my brother's voice on the other end, and then the station went completely dead.

"Should be any minute now." Virgil sat down once again.

I took a deep breath, trying to prep myself for when he comes inside the door. For all I know, he could be a different man than he was. I had no way of knowing, but all there was to do was wait.

Then there was a knock at the door. Virgil yelled at them, and it suddenly opened. I didn't turn around, I was too scared to do that.

"What did you need?" Cole asked. Virgil pointed at me, which was my que to look at my brother.

"Holy shit." Cole took a sharp breath, stuttering every word he tried to say. He began to explain to me what had happened at the gas station a year ago. I stood up, stomping over to him.

"You're a dick, Cole Maxwell." I punched his chest - which did nothing to him, might I add. He nodded.

"I deserve that." He sighed.

"You deserve a complete ass beating!" I yelled, hitting his arm with the radio I had brought with me. He nodded, and repeated himself.

"What happened to your face?" He holstered the gun in his hand, reaching out to touch my cheek. I smacked his hand away, jabbing at his chest.

"As if you care!" I gritted my teeth angrily. "I've been out, getting my ass beat and you've been here - did you even think about what you were doing when you left me, and Austin, Freya - god, you're unbelievable!"

"Can you let me talk? God, you're just like our mom."

"Don't you fucking dare-"

"Ladies!" Virgil yelled, silencing us. I crossed my arms, turning around to face him. "Can you two shut up?"

"She started it!" Cole jabbed my arm with his finger. I glared at him, wanting to smack him unconscious at the moment.

"Shut it! Lillian, contact your people again while Cole and I step outside to...chat." Virgil left me alone in the room, pushing my brother out of the door.

On que, the radio turned on again.

"Lillian?" Rick called for me.

"Yeah, it's me." I sighed deeply, looking to my left at the window.

"Tell this guy we'll take the offer. Get back here as soon as you can, something happened."

"What? What happened? Is everyone okay, is Shane okay?" I asked, panic seeping into my bloodstream.

"Just get here soon. Get a ride or something."

"Will do." I nodded, taking a breath to calm myself down. The door suddenly opened, and Virgil and Cole stepped inside with me. "They'll take the deal. Something happened over there, I have to go."

"Cole can drive you over there." Virgil smacked my brother's shoulder, smiling at me. He handed a set of keys to Cole, pushing us out of the door again.

"Take a radio." Virgil gave it to my brother, seeing as I already had one in possession. We stalked toward an old jeep.

"I'll be back." Cole assured his boss, starting the car. Virgil waved us away, and we were gone as soon as the gate was opened.

I wasn't excited to be in a thirty to forty five minute car ride with my brother, who I haven't seen in at least a year. We already pissed each other off, and I guess the round two bell just rang.


	19. Solitude

Cole was getting on my nerves, and we haven't even lost sight of the Mercenary camp yet. I guess it was just a sibling curse, getting mad at one another every second for something petty and stupid.

I had a legitimate reason to be mad, though, and he knew that for a solid fact. Right now, he was trying to explain his reason for leaving me stranded in a gas station so long ago, but it wasn't a good one. Not to me, at least.

Maybe I was being petty, but I didn't care. Cole was used to it, after thirty years of taking my shit he should be used to it by now.

"I had to get to Atlanta, okay? There were supposed to be people there, and a big camp." He yelled, almost running us off the road. I rolled my eyes at his poor attempt of convincing me he's right.

"And what did you find there?" I asked sweetly, trying to get on his last nerve. It worked, to my amusement.

"Nothing." He mumbled. "Whole place was bombed to shit-"

"We saw that on the news you idiot! That reporter lady, she said that happened. It happened everywhere, every big city, are you fucking ill?"

"Oh, yeah, like we were getting anywhere by staying at that gas station. And where have you been all this time?" He questioned, turning the tables. If he was mad at me, he had literally no right to be. Other than calling him names, I hadn't done anything to him in the past year.

"I've been with my group. Yeah, it's better than you hanging around those psychos! You remember some guys, Dave, Tony? Huh?"

"Yeah, I do. Why?" He scrunched up his nose, jerking his head toward the windshield to look out at our surroundings as I spoke.

"They died. Y'know who killed them? My friend. Yeah, those pieces of shit deserved it, too! Did you know they raped some girls?"

"They - what?" Cole seemed genuinely lost by my words, shaking his head as if I were lying.

"Wait, hold on." He made me stop talking for a second. "You knew Randall, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I helped save his sorry ass, and another man in my group made him that leg he's pogo-ing around on."

"Randall is still alive, y'know." Cole lowered his voice, sitting back in the driver's seat. "He's at another outpost, helping people."

I raised my arms up, signalling that I really didn't care at that point. For all I know, Randall could've been a rapist as well. Maybe he turned around, and is a different man, but that doesn't shy away from the fact that he still did it. Allegedly.

"Look, I'm sorry. Okay? Genuinely, I apologize for leaving you, but at the time I thought it was my best choice. Logan, on the other hand, he died a few days later."

"Yeah, I know. I put down his walker." That probably wasn't Cole's fault that he died, but I was still sorta mad about it. Everything was making me mad, only because I'm anxious and in a shit mood at the moment.

"Thanks." Cole muttered.

I didn't say anything after that. I couldn't give less of a fuck about where he ended up after; right now I was worried about everyone at the prison, and Shane, especially.

"You know those guys, Virgil, he's the shithead who killed those people at our old camp. Innocent people - children, too. And what? You're kissing his ass now?"

Cole chuckled angrily, shaking his head at me as if I didn't understand.

"It's not like that." He mumbled, biting on his knuckle to keep from yelling. It didn't work, though.

"Then what's it like, Cole? Enlighten me, please!"

"I had no other place to go!" He shouted at me, expressing his disapproval loud and clear.

I crossed my arms and stared at the glove box, trying not to blow up while he was talking. Cole had anger issues, even before the disease spread, and I was just making things worse by not letting him talk things out.

"I went back to our camp, a month later, after I got back from Atlanta. They were there, they - they said I could hang with them, and I told Virgil I was looking for you...he offered to help." Cole was obviously not in his right mind. He could've said no - there were plenty of other options for him. Right?

"So what? For a year you've been looking for me? Pfft, tough luck."

"You're such a child! This isn't about you, Lillian! Yeah, I abandoned you, but that wasn't the worst thing, and you've done the same to me."

"I'm a child? We're twins, you idiot! And, by the way, I didn't abandon you then. You were half dead on mom's couch with a fucking - a heroin needle in your arm!"

Cole nodded his head up and down, taking deep breaths.

"Yeah. You're right, I almost died. Fuck, I wish I would've that night. Do you know how miserable I was without Marci? How she was shot, and - and I had to witness it? Her blood was on my face!"

"That was six years ago! I understand how bad it must have gotten-"

Cole waved his hand in my face, disagreeing with every word I said to him. I was fuming, and I'm sure he was too.

"You don't understand. I had to watch my wife, my high school sweetheart, get gunned down by some low-life junkies. I wish they would've shot me instead, it'd be so much easier on her."

We were silent, for however long it lasted. Felt like an hour to me, but it was only a few minutes in reality.

"I had to watch mom and dad die. Both at the same time." I suddenly whispered, feeling my face get hot and my nose start to twitch. "I didn't even get to bury them. I got the hell out of the house and found you, but that took a month. A month, Cole. You were so underground and protected it was hell."

"Look," he frowned at me. "I'm sorry. I really am, but you always say the past is back there, we can't change it. Right?"

I've said that to so many people, and I'm surprised Cole even remembered it from all this time apart. From my years of experience, different people have said many things about that statement. Some of which laced me as I was stupid, and had no real perception of reality. Maybe they were right.

"That doesn't mean I can't be pissed for what you did to me, to Freya and Austin. I don't give a shit about six years ago, but I still remember. That's the worst part."

After that last statement, Cole just nodded at me. For the longest of time I wanted to find my brother, but now that I what what he's capable of, who he is, I didn't want him around my new family.

He didn't deserve it. I didn't even care if he's my blood, I hated him for this. Working for the enemy, leaving me, acting like it was all my fault.

I don't suppose I ever brought it up in conversation that his wife, Marci, she was killed in a gang hit. Wrong place, wrong time, and it was fatal.

He resorted to drugs. Not a big surprise, but heroin almost killed him. I'm sure he still has the needle marks on his arm, I can bet money on that.

After he got help, went to rehab, and got better. He hasn't done any drugs in about three years, which is pretty good for him. Then, he went underground.

I don't know what he did under all of that protection, I never asked him. I didn't want to. It was hell trying to find him, when the virus started to spread nationwide.

"This the place?" Cole mumbled to me. I nodded, watching as he drove up to the gates of the prison. Finally, we were here; I wouldn't have to endure any more of my brother for the time being.

As we grew closer to the front gates, I pointed out to him that there were none. They had been rammed in, probably by Philip and his men. The prison looked like hell. There was trash everywhere, which I didn't really know from what.

Walkers were pouring into the compound, the fields, and Cole stepped on the gas as we went inside to help everyone. I rolled down the window, sitting on the edge of the door.

I could hear yelling, and assumed it was Maggie. There wasn't any gun fire, besides my own and Cole's, which meant they were long gone by now.

It took a full mag, and then some, to clear out most of the walkers. There had been more coming in behind us, which only made me worry about everyone's safety.

Everyone was outside, even Merle, staring at us as if we did this to them. Carl unlocked the gate that lead to the courtyard, and pushed it back so the truck could pull through. I didn't wait until it stopped, I just opened the door and jumped out to greet Shane.

"What happened?" I asked, looking around at the mess that had been made in the two or three hours that I had been gone.

Shane was holding onto me as if he hadn't seen me in years, rocking back and forth quietly as he kissed my forehead. He seemed to have missed me.

Cole hopped out of the truck, everyone oblivious to his presence as they rammed things down my throat one scream after the other, making me feel overwhelmed within the first five minutes of showing up.

"That asshole came here! He shot up the place with his men, tore down the gates." Glenn was angry, and he had every right to be. But I wasn't the one to blame, it was Philip.

"Did...did anyone die?" I asked, looking around the faces in the crowd to see who was missing from the group.

"Axel..." Carol stepped aside, looking to a dead body with multiple shot wounds to his body. I breathed in shakily, feeling my chest tighten at the bloody sight in front of me.

"Shit." Cole whistled. "This place seems like a tornado ran right through it. It's a wonder how you folks are still kickin'."

In a few seconds, almost everyone had a gun on my brother, who just stared ahead at me with a smile. He didn't even flinch when Rick pulled the hammer back on his revolver and rested it against his forehead.

"Who the hell is this?" Rick asked me, keeping his eye on Cole the entire time.

"Um," I rubbed my forehead. "Everyone...meet my brother. Cole."

"Your brother?" Glenn scoffed. "Great."

"He's a Mercenary?" Rick asked. I nodded, deciding on what I would say next to justify him being here with us.

"He's also an asshole." Shane mumbled, which my brother heard.

"And who's Mr. Butcher over here with his arm around you, sis?" Cole stood up straight, giving Shane a glare.

Shane laughed, nodding his head as if he were about to get into a brawl. I knew then that insults would fly, but I just sat back and watched it happen.

"Hey, I'm your worst nightmare, buddy." Shane let go of me, meeting my brother halfway as they began to argue. "Heard you've done some pretty shitty things to Lillian, huh? You want to, uh, explain that to me?"

"Guys, stop it." I didn't have the energy for this, and my meter wasn't going up anytime soon. I just needed lots of sleep, in an actual bed this time.

"We need to go inside, who knows if there's other people out here still." Maggie whispered, walking away towards the cell block with Glenn, Beth and Carl. Everyone followed, except a select few who had a say in the conversation.

I waited around a bit with Shane, Daryl, Rick, Merle and my brother. We stood outside in the courtyard, trying to agree on our next move. The wind began to pick up, making my entire body shiver as we bickered back and forth. 

"What the hell is he doing here?" Shane asked, turning to me for an answer.

"He drove me back."

"I don't think he exactly belongs here. Did he know about..." Rick shifted his gaze, slightly startled that I didn't finish his sentence. I didn't speak, but nodded my head in the place of an answer.

"Just lock him in a cell with Merle. Seems to be what we do with everyone's relatives nowadays." Daryl groaned and began to reload his crossbow. I take it that he's still mad for sticking Merle in a cell for hours. Well, serves him right.

"Yeah, well, he's no Merle Dixon." 

Daryl huffed, shaking his head at my comment. I wanted to hit him for causing so much trouble with his attitude, but that was the last thing that we needed now. I remembered the fight at the barn, between Shane and Daryl, when I got his in the face by accident. It didn't seem as important to me at the time, but I just remembered how no one apologized to me for it.

"I like that idea." I grinned, turning to my brother. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"Oh, bite me." Cole mocked, flipping me off before leaning back on the truck parked beside us. I rolled my eyes, turning back to Rick and Shane as they contemplated what to do with him.

At this point, I didn't really care, but I knew that somewhere it would bite me in the ass if I didn't help him out even slightly.

"Look, Virgil sent him with me to help out. Speaking of that, have you decided if you're really gonna go through with his conditions?"

Rick took a deep breath, leaning his head back to think about the different consequences that could happen. Suddenly, Cole stepped in to offer some advice to us.

"If I were you, I'd take it. It's not everyday he just lets someone he took go, only for them to return and ask a favor. I'm surprised he let you walk out of his camp alive, what with you running off last time." 

"He knocked me out, kidnapped me! I wasn't about to stay in your shitty camp any longer than I had to." I yelled, trying to make my point go through his thick skull.

Rick was tired of us fighting, but didn't say anything to us. It would blow over sooner or later, and we'd stop being petty toward one another. Maybe, maybe not. I supposed only time could tell.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go through with it. It's not like he wants to take over the prison, we have plenty of room. He has some pretty powerful people, doesn't he? They could come in handy."

I nodded, realizing that was probably the best option for us now. There wasn't much else we could do anymore; we were practically helpless on our own.

"Let's get inside, we can discuss is with the group more." Rick turned, leaving all of us in the cold. I sighed, rubbing my forehead as I waited for him to go inside.

As the door shut, I turned to look at Cole.

"Don't fuck any of this up or I'll slit your goddamn throat, you asshole." I took a step back from him, shaking off my own words. I was surprised I had said that, especially in front of the other three men close to us.

I looked to the ground, walking away before I said anything else I regretted.

As I did so, I heard Merle laugh.

"That bitch has issues." He mumbled loud enough for me to hear him. I thought about turning around, cussing him out to the moon and back - but I didn't. I kept walking, trying to over hear their conversation.

Immediately, Shane, Daryl and Cole bickered at him in my defense, saying he shouldn't call me that and to keep his mouth shut. Shane had even threatened to break his jaw, which was pretty humorous.

I smiled, acting as if I didn't hear them. I quickly opened the door to the cell block, looking back to the group of men behind me as they argued.

"Come on, Rick wanted to talk to us." I then closed it behind me, taking different turns down the hallway before walking into the main lobby.

There was a drawing of Woodbury on the ground, scuffed over from where people had stepped on the markings. I stared down at it for a moment, getting distracted.

"Lillian," Rick ushered for me to join the group. I abandoned the picture, following the sounds of their voices. I leaned against the cement walls, sinking to the floor as he began to talk.

I waited for Shane to sit beside me, and he eventually showed his face in the cell block. He gave me a small smile, and crouched beside me.

"How're you feeling?" He whispered, brushing a stray piece of hair out of my face. I leaned my forehead against his chest, smiling at his concerns.

"I'm okay." I nodded, resting my hand on his cheek as he sat down on the ground beside me. He kissed my temple, holding my hand as we listened in to what Rick was going on about.

"We're not leaving now, we have the aid of the Mercenaries." He yelled, loud enough so everyone could hear.

"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds." Maggie stared at Glenn. She was holding onto Beth, who was scared half to death at the thought.

"We can't even go outside." Beth added, looking at Rick as he nodded.

"Not in the daylight." Carol said.

"Yeah, let's just stay here like a bunch of rats." Merle chuckled from one of the locked cells beside us.

"You got a better idea?" Shane called after him. "We're not alone in this fight anymore."

"We shoulda slid outta here last night, y'know, lived to fight another day. We lost that chance, didn't we? Prolly has guards up and down the roads by now, waiting for the right moment-"

"We ain't scared of that prick." Daryl laughed at his brother, who contradicted his words.

"You should be. That truck full of walkers, that was just him ringin' the doorbell. If he gets the high ground in this place, the whole prison will be up in flames." 

We were silent, until Maggie said something. She was uncomfortable with his presence, as was I.

"Let's put him in the other cell block." She whispered. 

"No, he has a point." Daryl nodded his head. He was cleaning the arrows from his crossbow, reloading it as he spoke.

"This is his fault!" I yelled, pointing at Merle. "We wouldn't be in the mess if it wasn't for him!"

"Who cares who's fault it is? What do we do?" Beth silenced me, looking around at Shane, Rick and Daryl.

"We should call up my crew, get them to stations in case they come back. We got guns, ammo, numbers. We'll wipe those people out in no time." Cole tapped on the table he was handcuffed to, shrugging his shoulders smugly.

"We're just supposed to listen to pretty boy over here?' Merle laughed again. I nodded my head, standing up, although I hated to admit he was right.

"He and those people are our only choice now. We have, what, fifteen people here? That's not enough to go up against an army like his - we need the Mercenaries. Whether you like it or not." I stepped up to the cell he was in, arguing.

Merle nodded his head, smiling at me. He then looked to Rick.

"This girl is doing more around here than you." Merle winked at me, leaning back against the wall before making kissing motions at me. I rolled my eyes at him, sighing in disgust.

I returned to my spot on the floor beside Shane, leaning my head on his shoulder.

Rick began to walk away, which Hershel wasn't pleased with. He began yelling at Rick, and I mean yelling. Full on shouting at the top of his lungs; it was the first time I've ever seen him do that.

Shane kicked the ground as Rick ignored Hershel's screams. Everyone watched Rick walk away.

"I'm gonna check the perimeter." He mumbled before walking outside.

Shane patted my thigh before standing up to follow him. He turned his head to Carl, and jutted out his chin toward the door.

"Let's go talk to your dad."

After they were gone, everyone began to talk about the plan once again. I stood up, and placed myself on the bench that Cole was handcuffed to. He leaned back, looking over toward me with a grin.

"Some boy-toy you have there." He motioned toward the door that led outside. "Almost had me scared for a minute there. Thought he was gonna, I don't know, choke me out or something."

"Don't get on his bad side." I mumbled, laying my head down on the table. I closed my eyes, feeling a headache start to come on.

"I won't. If he's gonna be boning my little sis, I need to come to terms he'll be my brother in law eventually."

He would never let me live it down that he was only a few minutes older than I was. I laughed, shielding my face from embarrassment.

"You're such an ass." I pushed his shoulder, watching him smile.

"It's what I do best."

Maybe having him around wouldn't be so bad after all?


	20. Welcome Back

Rick, Carl and Shane eventually came back into the cell block. As soon as they did, Rick was handing out orders to people as they stepped up to the plate to do so.

"Didn't see anyone, Maggie can keep watch." He handed off a pair of binoculars to her. Maggie nodded, and walked away after putting the strap around her neck. Rick then turned his attention toward me.

"Lillian, get your brother to call his group. I need people in the guard towers, and checking perimeter. They could help us clear out the walkers, too. We need to get the fences fixed as soon as possible, and they can help."

I nodded, and began to walk up the steps to a second story of cells. Daryl insisted he didn't be left out, and I already had enough on my plate, so I let him do whatever.

Cole was laying down in one of the beds, leaned back on the wall, reading a bible.

"I didn't know you were religious." I whispered, leaning my head against the bars. He shook his head, tossing the old book aside. It hit the ground, and slid across the cell, lodging itself under the sink.

"I'm not." He shrugged. "It was in here. Didn't have anything else to do, thought I'd start a Sunday school." He teased.

"Rick wants you to-"

"I heard him." He jolted upward, throwing his legs from the bed as he started to dig in his backpack. He suddenly looked to me. "When they get here, and I'm in this cell, Virgil is gonna be pissed."

"I'll let you out before then. I have too much to worry about, and Glenn nor Daryl trust you enough. I'm sorry, just a little longer."

"Whatever." He sighed, putting the radio to his face to speak into it. "Virgil? You there, man?" 

"Thank you." I smiled, turning around. I propped myself up against the railing and looked downward at Beth and Judith. Carl had finally decided on a name for her. Beth was realy good at taking care of her, and it was a wonder that she was only seventeen.

Everyone seemed preoccupied by something, even if it was just cleaning their weapons off or sharpening knives.

I listened in to Cole and Virgil's conversation, trying not to seem too obvious.

"Yeah, Cole. What's the problem?"

"We're gonna need some men over here. Twenty or so, to help guard the place." Cole was tapping his foot as he waited for a response from his boss.

"Can do. You mind if I waltz over there, take a look for myself? Might want to uh, ask your sister first."

Cole turned to me, in which I sighed. Another thing I had to worry about now.

"Rick," I yelled, getting his attention. He had been talking to Shane, and now the two were looking up at me.  
"Virgil wants to check out the prison..." I trailed off.

Shane started up the stairs after me, watching Rick as he did so.

"No way, no how. We already have two bags of shit stinkin' up the place, we don't need a third." Shane argued, shaking his head at me.

Cole was very patient, and knew that this would result in another argument. He just sat back and enjoyed the show, with a front row seat.

"Shane..." Rick looked toward him. "This guy is offering his help, if he wants to-"

"You don't get it, man. This guy kidnapped her."

"Shut it." I scolded Shane, looking back to Cole. "Tell him to come."

"Are you - you're actually crazy. Holy shit, I'm dating a crazy woman." Shane lightly smacked his chest, acting as if he were surprised.

I punched his shoulder, letting him laugh at me. He wrapped me into a hug, shaking his head at what he had said before.

"I'm kidding, you know I love you. If you think it's a good idea, I'll trust you." He kissed me and looked toward Cole. "Man, tell your boss if he tries anything, he's in our territory. Help or not, I won't be afraid to put him down."

Cole gave him a salute, and turned the radio back on to tell Virgil the news. I lost interest after that, and met with Rick and Shane as they started to talk about going on more ammo runs sooner than later.

Suddenly, Carl came running through the door with a gun in his hand.

"Dad!" He got his father's, and everyone else's, attention. "Andrea is here."

"Andrea?" Rick was confused, but followed his son anyway. Shane and I went along, holding onto our guns.

I never thought twice about Andrea on the farm. She was always mad at me for something; granted, it was probably a good reason to be mad, but at least I didn't shoot people in the head after being told not to multiple times by multiple people.

Yeah, I still haven't gotten over that.

Rick threw a set of keys to Daryl, pointing toward Merle.

"Get him out, give him a gun." He yelled, making his way toward the door. I scoffed, turning to Daryl as he unlocked my brother as well.

"Come on," I yelled at my brother, making sure he was in front of me before I went anywhere.

Everyone rushed outside and, lord behold, there she was. Andrea was holding a walker on a snare leash, leading it ahead of her.

"Cloaking device." I mumbled, getting a slight nod from Maggie.

I held up a hunting rifle that Rick had given me, and looked down the aim. Andrea started to yell, asking Rick to open the gates for her.

"Are you alone?" Rick screamed back, pointing his gun at her as she neared the fences. After no answer, he just threw the keys to Daryl, watching Andrea as she got rid of the walker in her grasp.

"Hands up, turn around!" Rick pushed her against the fence, frisking her as he did with Shane and I the day we got here.

"What?" Andrea seemed offended, but had no choice to do so.

Everyone watched silently, waiting behind Rick as he asked her again.

"I asked if you were alone."

"I am." Andrea nodded her head, taking deep breaths after getting thrown around onto the ground.

After Rick deemed her good enough to roam free, he insisted that she get up, pulling on her arm roughly.

"Welcome back." He glared, letting her stand up on her own. As she looked at the different faces in the crowd, she soon realized none of us were happy to see her.

Why did she expect? A big welcome party?

Rick led her into the cell block, keeping a close eye as everyone followed behind them.

She's missed so much in the months she's been gone, especially since they've been here at the prison alone.

As soon as Andrea stepped inside, she instantly fell into the arms of Carol, mumbling something we couldn't hear.

"I can't believe this." Andrea began to look around at all of the faces in the room, as if she were trying to find someone in particular. "Shane you're - you're still alive." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, no thanks to your little operation over in Woodbury." He sat down on one of the tables, looking to me.

"Lillian. And you're alive too, we thought-"

"I know." I stopped her, looking straight into Andrea's face so she could see the cuts and bruises on my own.

"Where's Lori?" Andrea asked. Rick looked down to the ground, shaking his head at her.

"She had a baby girl. Lori didn't survive." Hershel answered for Rick.

"Neither did T-Dog." Maggie added to it.

"And who's this?" Andrea pointed at my brother, who was still handcuffed to the table Shane and I were sitting at. Cole waved slightly, smiling at her.

"My brother."

"Why's he handcuffed?" She acted as if we were monsters for doing it.

"Cause he's an asshole." Shane grunted, making Cole smile even wider.

"Pleasure." Cole said to Andrea, watching her look away.

"You live here?" She asked, taking another second to look around.

"Here, and the cell block." Glenn put up the gun he had, making it clunk on a shelf. Andrea pointed toward the cells.

"Can I go in?" She started to walk towards them, but was cornered by Rick as he shook his head at her.

"I can't allow that."

"I'm not the enemy here, Rick" Andrea scoffed at him, which made Rick nod his head.

"We had that field, the courtyard - until your boyfriend tore down the fences and shot us up." He was obviously angry at her, and I didn't blame him. It seemed like everyone was.

"He said you shot first." Andrea took a step backwards. Rick didn't move, but was disappointed that she would even assume that.

"He's lying."

"He killed one of the inmates that survived in here." Hershel said sadly, trying to make her feel guilty.

"We liked him, he was one of us." Daryl then added to the pile. Andrea took a deep breath, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

"I had no idea...I came as soon as I could, I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shootout." She tried defending herself. Glenn rolled his eyes at her.

"That was days ago. You see what he did to Lillian? Your boyfriend did that, personally."

"I came as soon as I found out, I told you." Andrea jerked her head toward Michonne, glaring at her. "What have you told them?"

"Nothing." Michonne said smugly, which made Andrea angry.

"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people, and I'm the odd man out? Lillian didn't even get there until the farm, and you trust her more than me? And her brother?"

"She's not conspiring with the enemy." Rick explained, crossing his arms.

"Oh, and believe me, Cole is here for one reason only. I don't even trust him." I laughed at her, making Cole stare at me. I ignored him.

"I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done, but I'm here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out." Andrea was stopped by Rick, who was shaking his head at her idea.

I wanted to laugh hysterically at her; she really is a traitor, who puts her feelings toward a man, who beats people half to death, over the lives of the people she was with from the start.

"There's nothin' to work out." Rick shrugged loosely, as if there was nothing else he could do.

"We're gonna kill him." Shane leaned back on the table, "Don't know how, or when, but it's gonna happen."

"No...we can settle this. There's room at Woodbury for all of you!"

Merle began to laugh at her.  
"You know better than that."

"We're settled. There's no negotiating with him." Rick stated. He was annoyed by her presence, even more than anyone else in the room.

Why would they want to go back to Woodbury? Sure, they had houses instead of cells, but this place was our home now. You can't trade that in.

And there's the whole "Philip tried to kill us" ordeal. That was a definite deal breaker for us.

"Rick, can you just - can you talk to him?"

"No."

The common room was silent after their outburst, and no one really knew what to say after that. I wasn't sure if we were supposed to kick Andrea out, or let her stay for as long as she felt like.

I was keen on kicking her out, only because we never really liked eachother in the first place. I suppose that was mean, but we just didn't click well.

"Rick," Glenn called after him, following him into a different room. Andrea sighed, looking to me.

"He really did that?"

"Yeah," I groaned as I stood up, trying not to fall over from getting up too quickly. "Andrea, you have to understand how much of a pain in our ass he is, how much damage he caused. He was going to execute Shane and I."

"I'm so sorry." She shook her head at me, as if I would accept her apology with a snap of my fingers. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, me too."

"So what's Merle doing here, then? Didn't he do the same?"

"Y'know, I don't actually know why he's here. Daryl wanted to leave without him, no point of losing one of our best gunmen, so we let him stay." Shane glared at her. "Why did you come here?"

Andrea stopped in her tracks and threw her hands upward. She was getting frustrated, but no one seemed to care at all and kept pestering her.

"He is gearing up for war. Those people see you as killers, and he's training people. At least twenty in an army."

"Your little boyfriend tell them that?" Shane laughed, scratching his beard again. I nudged his shoulder to let him know to ease up a bit, but he didn't.

"You tell Philip, next time I see him I'm gonna take his other damn eye." Shane stood up, and walked away to find Rick.

I sighed, turning to Andrea as she watched him disappear.

"He's under a lot of stress." I laughed awkwardly, standing up to stretch out my arms. "Cole, did they ever reply to you?"

"Who?" Andrea asked, looking to my brother. Cole didn't speak to either of us, but he nodded his head at my question.

"Good. Then we should uh, get this place ready for when they come. Clear out some of the walkers, if you'll help me."

"Who's coming?" Andrea asked. I pushed passed her, not bothering to answer.

She was still working with Philip, and if I told her about the Mercenaries, she'd most likely tell him about our plans to meet up with them.

I didn't want to take any chances, especially with her. She was the enemy now, for all I'm concerned.

"Come on, Cole. We have work to do." I started to unlock his handcuffs. He stood up and turned every which way to get his blood pumping again.

"Lead the way."

Andrea watched us leave, huffing angrily. Michonne took her side and began to talk to her about god knows what, leaving everyone else to their own devices.

As soon as we were outside, I turned to Cole. He stopped walking and smiled at me.

"Shane's a real piece of work." He laughed softly, crossing his arms. I nodded my head at him, pointing away toward the fields.

"We should get the to the fences, take 'em out one by one with knives and such. Um, we could clear a path maybe? After, we could put a few cars in the way to funnel some of the walkers out." I started coming up with as many ideas as I possibly could. Cole didn't seem to be paying any attention, and proved it by changing the subject.

"He's right for you." Cole said as I was thinking. I looked back at him, surprised that he had said that to me.

"What?"

"Shane. You two are exactly alike, y'know? Wanting to uh, serve justice. Kill people for doing wrong. Good fit."

"I - is that a compliment or..." I trailed off, hoping he would finish my sentence for me in the form of an answer.

"All I'm saying is, I approve."

"Pfft. As if I needed your approval." I sighed. "But, thanks. He's uh...quite the character, but we just sorta clicked y'know?"

"Must be nice." I could sense the sadness in his tone of voice, and tried to change the subject again.

"You gonna come help me out?" I jabbed his shoulder with my elbow. Cole nodded, following me over to the fence.

I took out my knife, and shoved it into a Walker's skull from inside of the chain link fence, letting it fall to the ground. Cole followed, and we began to kill them off one by one.

He seemed to enjoy it too much. Don't get me wrong, I hated these things as much as the next guy, but I wasn't to the point where I enjoyed killing them.

Maybe that's what the Mercenaries were all about. Using walkers as target practice and such. I think it rubbed off on my brother.

I needed to help him find a girlfriend; he's been sad for way too long now and it's starting to show.

First we had to get rid of the Governor, and that'll happen soon, as long as Virgil keeps his end of the deal.

He seemed to be a man of his word, but I couldn't just take that as an answer. I still didn't fully trust him, but as long as Cole put in a good word to him, I think we'll be safe enough.


	21. Final Warning

Andrea was leaving.

I shouldn't have been surprised at all, but she was only here for two hours, if that. She came all this way just to walk out again?

We were all standing in the courtyard, watching as Glenn pulled a car up to where we all stood. Andrea was grateful, and began to say goodbye to, almost, everyone.

She skipped me, and a few others as well. I didn't exactly have a problem with that, though.

"Take care." Andrea stepped into the car, slamming the door. Rick sighed, walking over before bending down to the window to give her something.

"Be careful." Rick said, handing over a gun and a few bullets. I watched silently, crossing my arms as she began to drive away.

No one seemed too distraught by her leaving, which was kinda sad. Merle closed the gate behind her quickly and looked back to us.

I turned away from the car that was getting more distant, and looked over at my brother. He shrugged loosely, feeling no remorse for her as she drove away.

"What's next?" Daryl asked the group. Rick immediately looked toward me, jerking his head away toward the cell blocks.

"We should get things cleaned up for when the Mercenaries finally decide to show."

"Rick, can I talk to you?" I quickly asked before he had the chance to follow everyone else inside of block c. He nodded, and ushered for me to follow him to one of the tables beside us.

Shane and Cole stuck around, as everyone else disappeared inside, for some obvious reason other than they felt the need to be nosey.

"I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, okay? Virgil is quite the character. When I went back he seemed...unstable. He doesn't seem to be all there." I then looked to Cole. "Do you know why?"

"Oh..." Cole laughed nervously at my question, but quickly brought himself back together. "He hasn't slept well, is all."

"Is this guy gonna demolish our camp when he gets here?" Rick glared at my brother. Now, that was a question that definitely needed to be asked.

Cole shook his head back and forth, stammering as he tried to get his thoughts straight.

"No, there won't be any problems. I can assure that."

"Good." Rick nodded, clearly relieved.

Shane sat down on the bench beside me, looking over at the gates as vehicles began to approach the prison. Cole quickly ran off to open the gates, leaving Rick, Shane and I at the table.

"Carl told me something earlier..." Rick sighed deeply, watching Cole. He was trying not to make eye contact with me directly. "He said that, um, I should stop being the leader of this group. Y'know, pass it off to someone like Daryl, or Maggie, someone who has their shit together."

I had absolutely no idea why he was telling me this, but I was listening to him anyway. Shane stood up and walked away toward the fences, which I followed him as he did so.

"I think that's you."

"That's funny." I began to laugh, standing up to greet Virgil and his men with Shane and Cole. Rick rested his hand on the table, stopping me from turning away.

"I'm serious, Lillian. I think Carl is right I've - I've been doing too much, and these people need someone to help lead them. Look what you've done with the Mercenaries."

"I also basically egged the whole situation on by being at Woodbury." I lowered my voice, trying not to let anyone else hear us.

"You didn't know then. Just think about it for a bit." Rick walked away from where we sat. I sighed and tried my best to put on a slight smile before turning toward our new guests.

I didn't want to be the "leader." I don't really want the responsibility of trying to make important decisions. Why couldn't Glenn, Maggie, or even Shane do it? They all seemed pretty capable of those requirements.

But, no. Let's pick the girl who has anxiety and cries too much. The one who has family issues, who hasn't even been in the group from the beginning, the one who left for months and only just came back.

I couldn't wrap my finger around why he would even ask me, let alone consider me, for the job.

"Lillian." Virgil grinned, looking around the courtyard we were standing in. Thirty men began to pile out of different trucks that were parked outside of the fences.

I watched closely as they hung around behind Virgil, waiting for him to say something. Every one of them had been carrying some sort of submachine gun. If not that, shotguns and sniper rifles were their choice.

"Nice to see you again." I mumbled, looking behind him. "They ready to get to work? I have some jobs for them to do now."

He nodded at my question, taking short steps forward as he stared at the prison. He seemed pretty impressed by our home, which wasn't surprising to me at all. This place is basically a fortress.

"Yeah..." Virgil turned his head to Shane, smiling at him. "Why don't you introduce me to everyone, Lillian."

I sighed deeply, trying to show my immediate disgust toward his suggestion.

As I began to name everyone in our group, Virgil tried to pay as much attention as he possibly could. He seemed to be off somewhere else at certain moments, but I remember that Cole said he hasn't been well lately.

I didn't feel pity for him at all. Must be a bitch thing to say, but it's hard to have remorse for someone who kidnapped me just for the sake that he considered me to be irresistible. Or, as he put it, "fucking hot."

That didn't make me feel any safer knowing he was in the prison now, and knew where we were. Where I am.

But we were desperate. Philip would eventually take down our entire fence if he and his army were to attack us again, which hopefully wouldn't be too soon.

After everyone was acquainted fairly well, Virgil began to bark out orders to his men; he began to assign them to the field, the guard towers, the courtyard, the whole nine yards.

We just stood back and let him figure out what he was going to do with the fences. I had other things to do, such as boss around a handful of people he assigned to me. I apparently had control over them, and could assign them to jobs around the prison if they were needed.

I was excited, kind of. The situation we were in at the moment was pretty bad, but hopefully having these new people here would make things a little better.

I couldn't think of anything for these people to do, considering Virgil had assigned all of the high demand jobs already. So, I asked if they could just help clear out the walker bodies from the courtyard along with some others.

Of course, they agreed and began to pile up the bodies. I turned my head toward Shane, giving him a small smile.

"You really think this guy can help us win this battle?" He asked me, leaning against a cemented wall.

To be honest, I was almost one hundred percent sure that we would win. If not, we'd at least scare Philip with all of the people here at the prison now. These weren't even half of Virgil's men and women, which meant we had more allies coming our way soon.

"Yeah. Hopefully, I mean this has to work. Right?" I inhaled deeply and tried to look on the bright side of things.

Shane looked around us, slightly paranoid that the people beside us were listening to our conversation. He grabbed onto my hand and looked toward a door to our left.

It led to, what Rick called, the "Tombs." A set of dark hallways that led from cell block to cell block, now uninterrupted by any stray walkers. Rick made sure of that ages ago when he went on a killing spree.

We quickly walked inside, shutting the door behind us. It echoed, sending slight chills up my spine from the creaking noise.

"I gotta ask," Shane leaned back on the wall and stared at me for a moment. He squinted, looking down the hall at the few walker bodies thqt were still inside. "Are you gonna take that offer Rick suggested? We were talkin' about it earlier."

I scoffed, shaking my head at his question. As if I would even be a proper fit to be some sort of leader, especially to these people.

Shane disregarded my spell and continued to talk.

"If you can handle that stress - I just don't want you getting overwhelmed." Shane sighed.

I wasn't exactly sure where he was going with this, but half of me realized sooner than later what he was up to right now.

"I don't want to do that, any of it. If anyone should do it, it would be you or Glenn, that's basically it. Not me."

"And why not you?"

As if he didn't already have a clue. Did I have to explain, again, how emotional and practically unstable I am at the moment?

"Shane you know - I don't deserve it. Not one bit, y'know. Rick is doing a good job so far, it's not like there's a democracy or anything now, so why bother changing it up?"

He smirked, shaking his head at my answer as if it were a corny joke. I rested my hand on his chest, smiling up at him.

"Maybe a democracy is what we need now. Huh?" He wiped away the sweat on his forehead, nodding slowly.

"We could run it by Rick. Hopefully Virgil won't stay around, I'm not sure I could handle him at all." I turned to my right to look at the dead bodies on the ground down the hall. "We should clear these out soon..."

It was already starting to stink in there, which would become worse as the weather heated up today. "Decomposing Body" isn't the top seller at Village Candle, I can assure you.

Before I could even think about walking away, Shane pulled my body close to his. He seemed way more affectionate lately, and I wasn't exactly sure why. Then again, I didn't have a problem with it.

"Whatever happens with Philip and his men, if it comes down to it that I get caught up-"

I stopped him from finishing his sentence.

"Don't be crazy. Okay, it's all going to be perfectly fine. I promise."

Shane smiled at me, nodding his head. He leaned downward and kissed me, letting the romantic vibe linger in the room a little longer before he pulled away.

"This room isn't exactly the best place to...there's bodies everywhere." I laughed quietly, looking away from him towards the small window on the door beside us.

"Gon' take up my offer later, then?" He joked, following my gaze outside. I grinned, nodding my head.

"We have work to do."

"Ah, you're breakin' my heart." He kissed my cheek one last time before opening the door, holding it for me.

I rolled my eyes at him and continued to stare out at the field in front of us. There were at least ten of the men and women out there, clearing out the different walkers that had made their way into the fences.

Others were pulling the gates upward, trying to reinforce the flimsy metal so it'll be stronger than before.

"What the hell are we supposed to do if they're doin' the chores around here?" Shane asked, mumbling to himself. I shrugged, not knowing what to answer.

"I'm sure we can find something to do." I looked over to him, then back toward Virgil and Cole.

They were talking to one another, pointing across the courtyard at the fences. I assumed they were talking about how they could take out the walkers piling up on the sides, but they seemed aggravated at one another.

"I'm gonna go see Judith, see if she needs any more formula."

I smiled at him, shaking my head at the baby fever he still had due to her. Shane walked away, waving at me as he disappeared inside of the cell block.

My heart was beating steadily, which made me feel relaxed for once in my life. I took slow breaths, letting my chest fall as I tried to think of any jobs I could possibly be doing now. 

Everything seemed to be taken care of at the moment. Fences were okay, there were people in the guard towers watching over us, the gate was being rebuilt, and the walkers were being cleared. Nothing relaxing can last for long, though.

Cole was walking toward me, and he seemed pretty serious. I hated the look he gave me; as if everything in the world was going to shit once again.

"Virgil wants to talk to you."

"Why?" I glared behind him. Cole shrugged, clearly annoyed with the fact I was even questioning him at this point.

I took a sharp breath before following Cole to where his boss was. My heart wasn't steady anymore, which wasn't a surprise to me in the slightest.

Nothing could really shock me anymore, except what Virgil would come to tell me.

As I leaned on the fence post, my elbow almost slipped off which made me embarrassed. I looked to the ground to avoid Virgil's stare as he smiled at me.

"Lillian, I wanna apologize."

"Excuse me?" I furrowed my eyebrows, acting as if he were completely crazy. Maybe I was the crazy one here.

"For taking you back, threatening you, yada yada." Virgil leaned on the fence beside me. "No hard feelings, right?"

"You don't get off that easy." I gritted my teeth. The nerve he had to even assume he was off the hook from this. Virgil corrected me.

"Actually, I do. I'm helping you here, risking the lives of my own people to save yours - that's payment enough, I'd assume."

I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Rick and Shane as they yelled for me. My throat squeaked as I silenced myself, turning to look at them.

Their figures cleared up in my vision as we met halfway. Virgil walked away from me, continuing to peer over his worker's shoulders to see how much of a good job they were doing.

Shane stood close beside me, turning to Rick as they discussed the matter with Merle. Apparently they decided to let him roam free amongst the cell blocks, as long as Daryl kept eyes on him and he helped out around the prison.

I just agreed, not wanting to start any controversy between the group. I was beginning to worry about Philip for some reason; worrying more than usual.

"Lillian, have you thought over what I talked to you about?" Rick asked, capturing me in the midst of my breakdown. I shook my head, trying to come up with something on the spot to get him off my back.

"Shane suggested we have sort of a democracy. A council, I guess. I don't think just one person could make all of these decisions, especially if that person would be me. I'm not cut out for that."

"Who do you think would be included in the council?" Rick raised his eyebrow at me, curious as to what I was talking about. I, myself, hardly knew anything about what I was saying.

"Well," I shrugged, feeling completely bombarded with a single question. "The deal was that we take in Virgil's people. Right? Maybe we should use our own group as the council once they get here."

"What do we do now, then?" Shane questioned. I sighed and tried to find another answer.

"Well, maybe it'll just be us three who make decisions. Maybe include Maggie, Daryl, Glenn, Hershel - that could be the people. I don't even know why-"

"I think it's a great idea." Rick agreed, patting my shoulder with a small nod. "I'll go round them up, talk it over with 'em. I'll find you later, tell you how it goes."

I had absolutely no idea how I was supposed to survive these next few days, completely paranoid that Philip and his men could show up at any moment.

Sure, I felt safer knowing that we had at least twenty armed guards on the premises, but there was still a gut wrenching ache in my stomach that made me think he was out there right now, just watching us.

Maybe he was outside of the fences right now, hiding in the trees like a camouflaged psycho. He was plotting out how he was gonna kill us; maybe he'd slit our throats, or shoot us in the chest before the walkers could get to our corpses.

Hell, maybe he'd leave us half alive just to hear us scream as walkers tore open our chests. I could only imagine the pain that would come with that.

A chill went up my spine as I thought about it more, which made me feel sick at the vision of him shooting me. He couldn't win like that, not if I could help it at all.

Who knows why he was targeting the prison at all. It was a wonder he didn't take out the Mercenary camp as well, considering he made a visit there before switching sides.

Maybe, if that were to happen, there'd be no stopping it at all. Fate would take it's course and we'd all be dead thanks to me.

"Lillian." Shane set his hand on my shoulder, making my train of thought crash into its station. I blinked a few times, looking up at him as he stared back at me. 

"It's getting dark." Shane whispered, jerking his head slightly toward the cell block. "We should head inside, get some rest."

"Yeah, uh," I nodded, following him. "Sorry."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm fine, just tired." I wasn't being honest, but he didn't have to know that. I wasn't trying to scrape my paranoia off onto his good mood, not anytime soon at least.

"We'll be okay. I promise. I'll stay right here beside you. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

I didn't doubt his words for a second, not even since my nerves were bouncing off the walls of my stomach. Anymore stress put on me today and I might just puke.

"I love you." I kissed his cheek, running my thumb over his dirt-covered cheek. Shane smiled at me, holding open the giant metal door as we stepped inside.

All we had to do now was prepare for war.


	22. Unscathed

Almost immediately, as soon as everyone in the cell block began to wake from their deep sleep, Shane was getting out of the bed we had shared together. I didn't bother to open my eyes, hoping I could catch at least five more minutes of sleep before the day officially began.

I grabbed the sheets where his body had been and sighed, bundling the blankets up in my fist. Shane rested his hand on my cheek, running his thumb over the fading scab Philip had given to me days ago.

His hand was warm, which made me feel comfortable under his touch as he whispered close to my face. He muttered something to me that I didn't process, considering I was half asleep, and kissed my cheek before walking away. As his footsteps echoed down the hallway, I finally opened my eyes fully.

Everything seemed to be a bit hazy, which could be fixed by rubbing my eyes to get a clearer picture of the world. It was light outside, I could tell that much so far.

As my bare feet touched the frozen cement ground, a chill ran upward toward my spine and made me shiver as I began to slip on a pair of socks.

I stood up, stretching my arms outward to rid myself of stiff muscles before throwing a different t-shirt on my body. I was so glad it was spring time; that meant it was cool enough not to sweat while working, and hot enough to wear a tank top if you wanted.

After completing an outfit, I stepped outside of the room Shane and I shared with one another and turned to look at Beth as she walked down the hall with Judith. I smiled at them, looking down at the baby she held in her arms.

"How's she doing?" I asked, wiping Judith's snotty nose. Beth smiled at me.

"I think she has allergies. Pollen in the air, or somethin'. She's doin' good, pretty healthy."

She began to walk away, waving back at me as she disappeared into the common room.

My organs shifted in my torso, making my body cramp up violently multiple times in seconds. I turned back into the cell and slid the door shut, pulling down a blanket I had pinned up for privacy reasons.

I shuffled through a box that was kept under our bed filled with feminine hygiene products, pulling out a wrapped tampon.

It was really efficient that we were in a prison, which was even better that we all had our own privacy and toilets. I unzipped my pants quickly, realizing I was blood-free after staring downward.

It was odd, considering it was the middle of the month, meaning my period should've came already. Half of me was excited, and the other half was split into two parts. One was calm, and the other was freaking out.

It could just be a few days late, nothing to worry about at all. Right? Then again, it's been a few weeks since Shane and I had hooked up with each other. I didn't want to get his hopes up, and decided against telling him anything until there was a 100% chance that this was real.

Quickly, I zipped my pants up and returned to the hall by myself. My emotions were running crazy at the moment, which wasn't good for my mental state.

I took a quick breath, and turned towards the end of the hallway to a door in order to go outside and get some slightly-fresh air.

The smell of rotted corpses still stunk up the breeze as the wind blew in my face, but it wasn't as bad, now that we disposed of the bodies properly. And by "properly" I mean we lit them all on fire half a mile away from here.

Virgil and his people were here still, thankfully. I was pretty paranoid that they would kill all of us in our sleep, by slitting our throats or something, but I guess I completely misjudged them.

"Morning." I mumbled softly to Rick, who was sitting at a picnic table with Shane, Glenn, Maggie, Daryl and Hershel. Everyone I had suggested be on this new council of his. 

Virgil was hanging around beside the table, which was odd considering I had no idea where Cole was. Usually the two were glued at the hip, but I assumed Cole had other things to worry about at the moment due to his absence. I didn't even bother to ask.

I took an empty seat beside Shane and smiled warmly at him, trying to pay attention to what Rick had to say to us while also asking how Shane had slept. I'm pretty good at multi-tasking, as long as there's only two tasks to do at a time. Other than that, I'm out.

"Was thinking that today we could have some more people clear out the fences over here." Rick pointed away, grabbing everyone's attention as we looked to see where he had been motioning to.

"Carol and I can do that, maybe get the fences up some more." Daryl suggested, earning an approval from Rick.

I began to zone out, staring down at the map that was laid out on the table. It was covered in red ink marks, leading down different roads and highways. I didn't really want to know what they meant, which was concerning that I didn't care.

Hopefully today would be fairly easy. I didn't expect Philip to attack us a day after his first attempt, but I was still overly suspicious of where he was at this exact second.

Whether it be hiding in the trees watching us, or back at Woodbury plotting to destroy us in every way possible, I was still frantic.

"Can you do that, Lillian?" I heard Rick say my name, asking a question. I blinked my eyes a few times before looking up at him.

"Do what?" I felt embarrassed, but also disinterested in the conversation enough to where I grew bored. Rick chuckled softly at me, running through what he had said once again.

"Can you and Shane take one of the guard towers? I want eyes up there of our own, so you'll have to kick out the guy up there already."

"Um, y-yeah." I cleared my throat hastily before nodding my head. "That's okay with me."

Shane chuckled as I turned my head toward the courtyard, trying to scope out the perimeter quickly before standing up. Everyone else began to follow, and broke off into individual groups to do their assigned jobs. Rick handed a sniper rifle to Shane, nodding before quickly walking away to find his children.

I trudged toward the closest guard tower, tracing the outline of the fences as I did so. Shane stood close beside me, not talking at all so I could concentrate.

He opened the door before I had the chance to ram my head into it directly, guiding me through as I was thinking about something else, millions of worlds away from reality.

I've said it before, once or twice, but I'll say it again - I'm scared. More than I've ever been; more than when I was kidnapped, and even when I was beaten by Philip. Just the thought of him watching us from afar made my skin crawl nastily.

I didn't know what to expect from the world anymore. Everything either wants to kill you or eat you - then there's only a select few good people who you could genuinely trust.

Happily, I could say that I trusted everyone who was close to me. In the direct group, I mean. Even if Cole is my brother, there's no way for me to certainly know who he is now. For all I know, he could've helped Dave and Tony rape those girls.

I was clueless to the past year of his life, and something deep inside of my gut made me believe he wasn't telling the full truth. 

Virgil, on the other hand, was not a man who could be trusted by someone of my own nature. There were definitely reasons why I couldn't become allies with him in the long run. But, given the recent pressured circumstances, I had little to no choice but to give him at least an ounce of trust.

We were already giving him as much by letting him enter the prison unharmed. He basically waltzed right inside, mostly because there wasn't a front gate to stop him from doing so.

Shane and I were climbing a ladder, opening a trap door to get inside of the top portion of the guard tower. He shut it after he was inside and watched as I sunk down to the ground.

"What's goin' on?" Shane crouched down in front of me, placing his cold hand on my cheek as a sign of being comforting. I shrugged loosely, not sure what exactly to say as an answer to that.

Plenty of things were going on right now, I just didn't know which one to start with. I was overly stressed out, but tried my best not to show it toward the group. To them I was an open book lately.

"Uh," I stared at the dusty floor in front of me, scraping my foot across the ground to make circles in the dirt.

"Lillian?" Shane whispered, tilting my head upward so that I was looking at him. "What's this about?"

As soon as he asked me, the lump in my throat began to form. It felt as if I were going to choke on my own words before I had the chance to explain my dismay to him.

"I'm scared." I said harshly, avoiding his gaze. Shane nodded his head as if he understood, which I assumed he did. I didn't take him as someone to be scared of a little confrontation, though. I guess he fooled me.

"I know." He mumbled, standing up to keep watch out of the broken window behind me. I sat still and leaned my head back on the metal wall, taking a minute to breath and capture my thoughts before gaining the courage to join him.

"After Philip is dead, we won't have to cower in the cells anymore. Won't be scared; we can get back to having lives." He held the gun's scope to his eye, staring out of it at the tree line in front of us. Shane talked slowly as he tried to concentrate on the task we were given as well as speak to me.

"Almost feel bad for the poor bastard." I shook my head, looking to my right at his face. Shane was enriched in the sight he was seeing before us.

"Gettin' what's comin' to him." Shane felt no remorse, which was perfectly understandable, especially since he was still hung on the fact that I was beaten by that prick.

My joints were starting to feel better, especially since I've been out and about doing work to help loosen them a bit. My face, on the other hand, was still bruised from the multiple punches he gave me. It wasn't a deep purple color anymore; more of a yellow-ish purple.

"Yeah." I agreed, sitting down in a wooden chair that had been pushed into a desk. I dusted off my hands and hung back a bit, letting him have his fun with the sniper rifle.

The prison was silent, with the exception of Virgil yelling out different orders with the help of Rick. They made a pretty good team together; if only they didn't hate eachother, imagine what we could get done in that time taken away from them bickering.

I was exhausted, but there wasn't a clear reason as to why. I got plenty of sleep last night, I think.

From what I remember it was at least a full nine hours or so; unless my watch was broken from jostling it around too much. The prison mattresses were rough on my back, though. There was absolutely no way I would complain about that, mostly because it wasn't a good reason to. First world problems, I suppose.

"I can't wait for all of this to be over." I tried to spark up another conversation before I grew too bored of the guard tower.

Shane looked away from the sniper scope, nodding his head in agreement. I scooted the chair I had sat in closer toward him, leaning my head against the window pane.

"Me neither." Shane gave me a smile before leaning on the wall beside him. He faced me, holding the gun in his hands still.

"Everything has been so weird lately. Not exactly how I imagined I'd spend my life from now on. I'm not sure I like it."

"What would you do to improve it?" Shane asked, genuinely wondering how on earth this could get any better. In a lot of ways, but there wasn't much to do at the moment.

"I want Philip dead. Plain and simple; but, he probably won't show up anytime soon around here, since he rang the doorbell couple days ago." I shrugged, throwing my hands around as I spoke angrily. Shane listened intently, nodding along as I talked. "I dunno. I just wish that prick would die already, he's caused too much trouble around here for everyone."

"It'll happen sooner or later, just you wait." Shane keeled down by the window and resumed the position he was in before.

He held the scope up to his eye and started to look around the lot, trying to find things that seemed suspicious.

"I hope so." I mumbled, spinning my body around in the chair I sat in. I should be helping him search, but I couldn't exactly do anything without binoculars or a scope to look through.

"I've got a question, a big one." Shane squinted as he peered outside of the window, turning his attention back to me.

"Shoot." I was still spinning around in my chair, making myself slightly dizzy as I did so.

Shane stopped my chair abruptly by grabbing onto it tightly and crouched in front of me, staring directly into my eyes. He was completely serious now, which meant I also had to be, or else he'd become aggravated.

"I've asked so many times before, it's-it's probably gettin' annoying - look I uh, I'm really um..." he seemed to be having a bit of trouble saying what he needed, but I had a big feeling I already knew exactly what he was talking about. I think.

"I've done a lot of things in the past. Things I'm not proud of, things that I thought would keep the group safe, and they keep me up at night. Back at Hershel's farm I, um...I didn't care what was in Rick's best interest. I thought I was looking out for everyone, and that day you showed up made me think everything spun out of control."

He paused between sentences, almost as if he was trying to remember events that had happened earlier. I waited patiently, staring down at him as he wiped the sweat and nervousness from his face. He seemed to avoid saying things that would upset me, which made me believe he cared.

"Then Otis, the barn, and the Randall situation - I convinced myself I was doing the right thing at the time, and when I replay everything in my head over and over it snapped and I just - I just don't know if you hold any of that against me. And I want to - I need to know what you're thinking. Before anything goes further and we-"

Shane stopped suddenly, opening his mouth to speak again before deciding against it. His eyes were darting around my face, trailing all the way up to my eyes as he gazed into them solemnly.

"Before we make drastic decisions. I need to know your thoughts about me, about everything I've done. Shit, I know I fucked up. Truth is, I wouldn't blame you for hating me."

There was a long silence as Shane stared at the dirt covered ground, tracing the circles I made with my foot earlier with his eyes simultaneously; almost as if he were looking for something.

After a few more seconds, I finally choked out some words I thought seemed appropriate for the conversation and what he was asking of me.

"I get that you thought it was the best - even if they were shitty things to do then. We've all done things, bad things, and there's absolutely no reason to dwell on them for the rest of our lives. That doesn't solve anything."

I rested my hand on Shane's cheek, smiling at him. There was a lump in my throat, choking me with every word I said, which just made me want to cry even more. He reached up to my face and wiped away a stray tear that had escaped my right eye, resting his forehead on my knee as I continued.

"I don't hate you. Sure, you piss me off, but that's just something that's bound to happen with people. We won't always get along, and that's okay, y'know? As for the Philip situation, it'll pass. Once it does, we can start building up this place, making it safer. By then we'll have more people to take care of, hopefully, which will keep us busy and out of trouble."

"I wish he'd just show up so we could kill him already." Shane grunted, sighing deeply as I ran my hand through his hair, trying to comfort him the best to my abilities. He was relaxed, but I could hear the panic in his voice as he spoke to me.

"I mean, you already called dibs on that." I joked with him, trying to lighten the mood. Shane nodded his head, smiling up at me as I returned the gesture.

"Damn right."

"I hope it's sooner than later that this passes by. I'm done hiding out in the prison, I want to go on more runs and get some action, but it's probably too dangerous out there."

Shane scoffed, standing up to return to the window. I shrugged and joined him, staring outside. Shane extended his arm and wrapped it around my waist, pulling my body closer toward his.

"Maybe he'll just play chicken and find someone else to torment."

"That's why we need to stop him." I whispered, looking at him. Shane nodded. 

"Before he hurts anymore people. I couldn't live with myself-" I stopped talking as Rick began to walk down the fences, looking up to Shane and I as we stood still.

"Carl, Michonne and I are going on a run. Glenn and Maggie are in the field with Virgil, Hershel is in the cell block with Daryl and Merle. Keep an eye out for me, will ya'?"

I waved down at him, giving a thumbs up as he began to walk back toward the prison to obtain a car. I watched for a moment before taking a quick breath.

"Dammit, we could've gone on a run if we wanted to." I pouted, slightly angry at myself for not suggesting it before.

"Maybe next time." Shane adjusted the rifle on his shoulder, staring out at the tree line once again.

"I thing we need a rendezvous. In case we end up getting run out of the prison, maybe? Like a house or something."

"We could check tomorrow if you wanted, go out then. Or when they get back, if it doesn't take too long for them." Shane encouraged me by coming up with different ideas. I nodded at his suggestions.

"Sounds good to me."

"In the meantime," Shane jerked his head back at the chair I was sitting in. "Might wanna relax. Could be here a while."

"When's it my turn to check out the scope?" I inquired, earning a disturbed look from him. He seemed surprised that I actually wanted to do something to help, but handed the gun to me despite his shock.

I picked it up, feeling the heavy gun weigh down my arm as I held it upward toward the trees to aim. Nothing interesting seemed to be happening, which made it pretty boring for my personal taste.

It reminded me of back at Hershel's when I had to look out from atop the Winnebago Dale had driven months ago. I never actually asked about him when Shane and I first arrived at the prison, but I only assumed the worst had happened to the wise old man. 

I supposed they had left the RV at the farm while it was being infested with walkers, as well as most of their supplies.

"Remember at gun practice - back at the farm? When you shot that smile into the fence post?" Shane asked, watching me closely from my left. He had traded spots with me, and was now sitting in the wooden chair.

"I think so." I nodded my head, trying to multi-task.

"That's when I was startin' to like you. Somethin' about that made it click, then we went and did a private session..." He snapped his fingers.

I looked away from the gun's scope, raising my eyebrows as a sign I was questioning him silently. Shane chuckled, leaning back in the chair as I laughed at him.

"That's when? You yelled at me 'cause I couldn't hit the target, remember?"

"I apologized for that." He pointed out quickly.

"Yeah, you did."

"You were pretty good at shootin'. Which is odd, 'cause you're a nurse." Shane was questioning me now, getting a sly smile on his face.

"I took courses, trained a bit in my free time." I shrugged it off and stared back out at the trees.

Shane didn't seem convinced, but nodded his head anyway. I rolled my eyes playfully and shrugged.

"You're somethin' else, Lillian." Shane whispered, making me smile wide at his remark.

Shit. As if I could fall for him anymore; I just dove down a flight of stairs leading to the basement.

But it didn't bother me at all.


	23. Signal

We've been in the guard tower for a couple of hours now, just waiting for something exciting to happen. I was sorta glad everything was quiet, but the other part of me had been restless about the relaxing Shane and I were doing.

Rick, Carl and Michonne were still gone, which wasn't a big surprise to me. He could stay out all day on a trip, whereas I want to get back from them as soon as possible.

Shane was holding the gun now, leaning back in the chair as I sat on the floor with my gun. I kept taking it apart, only to turn around and rebuild it again afterward. We were quiet, but it was a comfortable silence to sit in together.

Then my hand slipped, and a pile of pieces fell onto the floor, making a loud noise that startled Shane. He watched me hastily pick them up and drop them once again. I sighed, practically giving up as I laughed angrily at myself.

"Shit." I whispered, cussing myself out as the bullets fell from my lap as well. I reached over and grabbed them, taking a deep breath before looking to Shane. I smiled up at him, silently apologizing for being noisy.

Shane got up from the wheeled chair, crouched down in front of me, and began to help pick up the stray bullets that had rolled beside his feet.

"Can't do anything right to save my life." I laughed, expecting him to join in on my joke. Shane shook his head, disagreeing with me.

"Plenty of things you do right. Rebuilding a gun just ain't one of 'em." Shane snickered, looking at me. I scoffed at his remark and rolled my eyes, acting as if I had been genuinely hurt.

"How dare you," I laughed inbetween my words. "This is the third time I've taken it apart, and rebuilt it. I only had a couple extra pieces..."

"You're not supposed to have extra pieces." Shane laughed at me again, to which I got fed up with and punched his arm lightly. I was careful not to actually hurt him in any way.

I sat back on the wall as soon as the pieces were picked up and sitting in a cloth that was on my lap. It didn't look like I had lost any pieces, so that was a good start for right now.

Shane was still crouched down, looking at me closely with a smile. I stared back at him and let the looming silence fill the room as we held eye contact, waiting for the other to make some sort of decision.

I leaned forward toward his face and rested the palm of my hand on his jawline as we fell deeper into each others grasp. Shane began to kiss me, making it a habit to run his hands over my torso.

I grinned as he kissed my neck, making a trail that led to the middle of my chest. My heart began to thump briskly, which made adrenaline flush into my system as we tumbled to the floor.

"Better not let Rick catch us." I breathed in, making him smile down at me. He shrugged off my mention and brushed a stray piece of hair that had fallen onto my face behind my ear.

"We'll hear 'em before he does." Shane whispered quietly, leaning down to kiss me. He then tucked his necklace into his shirt so that it wouldn't dangle in my face, doing it quickly as we continued.

Shane began to take of my shirt slowly, watching me as I let him do so in case I were to change my mind at anytime. I reached down and unbuckled my belt, laughing as I struggled to take it off.

Before we went any further, Shane stopped to take a long look at me. I rested my hand on his shoulder, smiling up at him.

"I love you." He whispered, making my heart skip a beat. I didn't know what to say, considering my words were caught in a lump deep in my throat.

"I love you more."

<><><>

Hours seemed to pass by us, and we unintentionally lost track of time. After our affair, Shane and I went back to guarding the towers alongside each other.

Nothing seemed to be happening, which made me extremely bored to the point where I was stabbing the concrete floor with the knife I kept on my person at all times.

It was making a clinking noise, which didn't seem to bother Shane at all, surprisingly.

"How long have Rick and 'em been gone?" Shane suddenly asked, catching me off my guard. I tilted my head sideways to look at my watch, blowing raspberries from my mouth as I began to count the hours.

"Four, five." I shrugged my shoulders, continuing to stab at the ground violently.

"You done yet?" Shane asked me, making it pretty clear he was becoming annoyed at me. I stood up, wobbling to the side a bit as I dusted myself off.

"How long do you think we'll be up here?" I whined, leaning on the window.

"You can go down, take a break. I can stay up here, wait for 'em to get back." Shane suggested to me.

As much as that appealed to my liking, I didn't want to leave him up here by himself. I would feel too bad. Other than that, I'd gladly leave and find other things to worry about than staring out of a window, looking for something that isn't there.

As I was debating on what to do, Shane led my thoughts to rest as he made up my mind for me by announcing they were driving up to us.

"Speak of the devil." He chuckled, standing up to join me. "Let's go say hi."

Everything lately seemed to only happen by coincidence, and it was making me freak out a bit. The world can't be that in sync with people's lives, can it?

Shane followed me down the ladder, and dropped to the ground after I did. Rick, Carl and Michonne had just pulled into the courtyard when we greeted them with a giant smile, waving as we met halfway.

"Everything been okay here?" Rick asked. He started to unload things from the car, whilst Shane offered his own hand. 

"So far. Ain't seen anything out there."

"Good. I need to talk to you two, alone." Rick then looked to Carl. "You okay to unload this?"

I peeked my head into the car and smiled happily. They had gotten a crib for Judith, so she could actually sleep in something besides a crate doubled-up with blankets.

"Yeah, dad." Carl rushed away, carrying the box with Michonne. Rick turned his attention to Shane and I, walking away to where no one could hear us if we spoke quietly.

"I'm thinking about taking Andrea's deal. Talk with Philip, come to some sort of agreement."

I was completely shocked, and made it perfectly clear on my face that I was. Hopefully he was joking; he had to be playing some sort of trick on us by saying that.

"Fuck no." Shane gritted his teeth. "That asshole deserves to die, he has a helluva storm comin' for him. You can't possibly get close to him and not slice his head clean off."

"Woah, Shane." I patted his shoulder. "Let's take a step back. Rick, why are you saying this now?"

"Like I said, we can maybe come to an agreement. He'll leave us alone,"

"Rick, he ain't like that. You can't work somethin' out with him. Listen, you show up there, plain an' simple, that man will kill you. Fuck him and that deal, there's no way. See what he did to Lillian?"

"Shane, you are gonna have to put your feelings aside and think about what is best for everyone here, not just you."

I stood away from the argument, letting them fight about it as I began to pick at the dirt underneath my nails with the knife I had been stabbing into the ground earlier.

The best thing to do is just hang back and hope they don't start to throw punches. God knows that's the worst that could happen to us now. That is the last thing we need today.

"Feelings aside, that guy is a sack of shit and I'll be damned if he gets away with hurting people out of spite. If you won't do it, I'll kill the bastard." Shane yelled at the top of his lungs, alerting everyone near us.

"Shane," I rested my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me, breathing hard from the different sets of emotion that was circling his mind at the moment.

"We need to consider this some more, okay? We're a democracy now, remember? Let's uh, run it by everyone first."

"No," Rick said bluntly, knocking me out of my conversation. I blinked a few times, composing myself. "There's no debating this."

"You're out of your mind." Shane barked at his friend. "Dammit, Rick, we have an army! What the hell are you so scared of!?"

"My family is in that prison right now. My children, our friends - as far as I'm concerned, they matter more than winning a war with a deranged psychopath."

"And if Philip turns on you, which I damn well know he will, what do you expect to do then? You gonna scurry off, tail tucked between your legs like a coward? Or are you gonna fight for those people in there?"

Rick was silent, not knowing what to say to either of us. Once again, I hung back and waited it out.

They fought like a pack of wild dogs, but eventually they'll figure out who's winning the argument and decide on that idea. They always did, which wasn't a very healthy way to do things but I wasn't exactly going to bring it up to them anytime soon.

Rick stomped his foot, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried so hard to admit Shane was right.

Honestly, I didn't care which way they went. Sure, I despised Philip for bruising my body and busting open my lip, but if talking it out seemed to be the best solution then that was alright with me.

It amazed me how completely opposite Rick and Shane are. I was always torn between the two, realizing they both had solid arguments at certain times.

I hated playing the Devil's advocate, but that's what I do best. Of course I had my own ideas, but someone else's always seemed better than mine. If not, I was too distracted or insecure to voice my own opinions.

"Alright." Rick grunted. "Guess we're still goin' to war with these people. We need to make some changes around here."

Shane was relieved, which I noticed immediately after he grabbed onto my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. I smiled at him, then turned my head to the ground.

My stomach began to feel queasy after their argument ceased. I wasn't sure why, but anything and everything made me want to crawl back into bed and sleep forever.

"What's the first plan?" Shane asked. He picked up the sniper and held it close to his chest as he waited for Rick to answer his question.

"We need to go out, get some lumber and try to board up the holes the fence. Maybe find some things to build them up as well."

"Can do." Shane agreed with him. "Lillian brought something up to me a while ago. Suggested we get a rendezvous point, in case things go south here."

I wasn't really paying them much attention, and instead I had been thinking about what might've happened if we went along with Rick's plan instead.

In no way, shape, or form had I wanted to make some sort of deal with Phil. He wasn't the same man Shane and I had met a month ago, and that was enough evidence as to not trust him.

"While you're on a run, look out for one then." Rick was pissed off at us. For what reason exactly I couldn't tell you, but he was mad. He turned his head to his right, pointing at the cat he, Carl and Michonne had rode in.

"Put some gas in it, take some men, go find supplies." He began to walk away from us. Shane grunted, nudging my shoulder.

"He'll be fine. Let's go."

I hated leaving things on a bad note; it made me anxious and irritable. I smiled at Shane before looking to Rick.

"I should talk to him. Get the car ready, I'll be back."

He nodded stiffly, realizing there wasn't anything that he could do to stop me from walking away. Shane kissed my cheek quickly before we parted ways.

I quickened my pace and met up with Rick as he stomped away from us. He stopped walking and turned to look at me.

"Rick, you guys - why do you always fight? Did this happen before?"

"Why are you worried about it? We just don't think the same anymore."

I scoffed at his vague answer.

"Well," I nodded my head. "That can't be all of the story. There has to be a reason or - or somethin'."

"There's not." He said bluntly, trying to edge away from the conversation we were in the middle of. "You don't need to worry about it. Can you just - go help him. Please. I have shit to do around here."

"Don't be an asshole." I whispered, taking a small step backward. He then began to stare at me as if I had just insulted his entire bloodline.

"Shane is the asshole. He's hot-headed and gets pissed if he doesn't get his way."

"You guys are literally so similar yet complete opposites. You're both so confusing."

There was a long silence between us, which made me slightly uncomfortable. Rick was breathing deeply as if it was a way to keep himself from yelling at me.

"Listen, can I ask you something?"

Rick nodded, crossing his arms.

"How different is Shane? From before to now, I mean. Like...is he - I feel like I'm missing a big puzzle piece to his life. He's told me stories about before, sure, but I feel like he's not telling me something."

Rick's gaze softened, and he uncrossed his arms to feel more relaxed. He started to wrack his brain, trying to find fragments to put together in a sentence.

I waited patiently, occasionally looking to Shane to make sure he was still busy stocking up the car with supplies. He paid no attention to Rick and I, which was a good thing.

"This sorta world, it changes people. Some more than others. I guess he's still adjusting, I don't know what else he would keep from you. We haven't had much time to talk, and when we do we're yelling at eachother."

"Alright." I nodded my head. I suppose there was nothing to worry about now, considering even Rick had no clue as to what Shane would be hiding from us; if there's even anything he's keeping a secret.

"Better get going." Rick jutted his chin toward the car, turning to walk away again. "Keep an eye on him for me, please."

"Will do, cap'n." I smiled at him before running off towards the truck he had switched the car out for. Shane was already inside waiting for me, and greeted me as I hopped into the passenger seat.

I checked the tailgate, confused that there wasn't anyone else with us. Shane banged the door, signaling for the new gate to be opened.

"Why isn't-"

"Figured we could handle it." Shane read my mind, stepping on the gas pedal as we began to drive away.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him. Shane seemed surprised I had been worried, but quickly got over it.

"Everything's great. I figured if we had time, we could uh, maybe check out Woodbury. See what they're up to."

"How the hell do you expect to do that?" I leaned back in the seat I sat in, staring in front of me at the dirt covered road.

The farther we drove away from the prison, the more that walker bodies had been piled up on the roads. I remember T-Dog and Glenn had drove out here to dispose of them properly. 

"We have eyes on the inside, remember? Andrea told me a radio station to tune into."

"And you trust her?"

I never liked Andrea, and I'm not exactly sure why. She just always got on my nerves for some reason, especially when she shot Daryl in the head. I'm still not over that, which is weird because it didn't happen to me in particular.

"Kinda have to." Shane shrugged, resting his free hand on my thigh.

"I don't know...she gives me a bad feeling. I mean, she's on Philip's side for Christ sake. It's like she's forgotten about us."

"Either way," Shane sighed ruggedly, "Only way to know his next move. She warned us about the army he was preparing, right?"

"Yeah but-"

"Lillian, it'll be alright. You gotta trust me on this one."

I nodded my head, closing my mouth about the subject afterward. I guess all we had to do was wait and see what her plan was to be for us.

Hopefully Andrea will be on our side of the battle because, if not, she'll be dead along with Philip if she's not careful enough around the prison.


	24. Smoke In Your Eyes

Car rides, to me, have always been soothing. Unless there were ruts in the road that kept knocking your head against the window as you leaned on it. Doing so made my head hurt, so I finally sat up and looked toward Shane.

He was bobbing his head back and forth, staring at the road signs ahead of us as he tried to find the next town over. I watched him for a minute, until he caught me staring.

"What?" He smirked at me before scratching his beard. I shrugged my shoulders loosely and began to search through my bag to keep myself busy.

"What kinda place are we trying to find?" I asked suddenly. Shane looked at me and sighed, which made me realize it was my idea and I should have the answer to that question.

"Take a pick."

"Um..." I crossed my legs in the seat and started to brainstorm things. "What about like...a house? I don't know."

"Alright," Shane agreed. "Keep an eye out for one and we'll check it out."

Lately things between us have been quiet. I didn't know if it was because of the events that happened at Woodbury, the highway, or the prison. There was still a feeling deep down in my gut that told me he wasn't being completely honest about something.

I turned back towards the window and zoned out while staring outside at the passing trees. Occasionally, a walker would appear, seemingly out of nowhere, and chase after us in the truck.

From the rear view mirror I could see it trip and fall over itself, landing on the ground in a pile. The monsters always tried to get back up again, no matter how many times they fell.

They were always searching for something. It almost made me want to understand how their brain worked after the infection but, then again, there were more important things to be done than study a corpse.

The only brain I really wanted to study was Shane's. There was always something going on in that head of his, which made me only imagine what it could possibly be.

I began to wonder, thinking about what would've happened if Shane and I had met before the disease spread. Would we still occasionally fight, and would we even be with eachother now?

The "butterfly effect" tripped me out. Everything was lined up with fate, supposedly, but doesn't that go against it? Like, a chain of events leading to different options. Just the thought of doing something differently and getting millions of different outcomes was a haze to me.

"Lillian?" Shane reached over and shook my leg slowly, trying to get my attention.

I looked over at him sheepishly, then glanced at the window in front of us.

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked if you were alright. You've been a bit too quiet lately, 'specially around everyone else." He seemed worried, but I quickly put his mind to ease with a smile.

"There's just a lot on my mind." I bit down on my bottom lip. Shane kept pushing on, wondering what the cause of my silence was.

"As in?"

"Uh," I shrugged, laughing at myself for no reason as I struggled. "Well, there's the fact that you and Rick are always at each other's throats. Makes me anxious, I guess."

"Ah, that's just us being us. We'll work it out eventually, we always do, right?"

"If you say so," I raised my eyebrows, unconvinced about his answer. As I looked to my left, out of the window, I saw that a small neighborhood was down the road a bit. I bumped Shane's leg with my knee and pointed where I had been staring off to.

He nodded and turned into the street, taking his pick of where we would park at. After he stopped the truck in front of a blue two-story house, I quickly jumped out and grabbed my gun.

I haven't been away from the prison on a run in days. It was a refreshing change to do something different, other than staying in a guard tower for hours.

"Place looks picked clean." Shane whispered, shielding his eyes from the sunshine as he looked upward at the boarded windows. I nodded my head slowly before walking up to the front door.

I knocked quickly on the door and stood back, watching as Shane checked the premises around us. Everything seemed clear of walkers, but you could never be too sure.

Personally, from experience, walkers could be lurking anywhere at anytime. They don't always make a lot of noise, so you really have to listen or else you'll be sorry. I've gotten grabbed at least three times that I can remember. All three times were because of my long hair, which I had chopped off when Shane and I were still living in Woodbury.

"It's really...weird out here. Feels like it shouldn't be this quiet." I whispered to Shane, earning a small nod from him. He turned in a circle slowly, watching the truck for a second before he began to open the front door.

Thankfully it was unlocked, or else we'd be having too much trouble right now trying to get inside. I wasn't in the mood for that, especially since I've had a very restless day.

Shane went inside first, pointing his gun around different corners, much like what a cop would have done.

He jerked his head forward, telling me it was clear as he walked upstairs. I let him do his own thing and started to look around on the bottom floor. The house seemed to be picked clean by scavengers, or maybe by our own group, which meant it would be a perfect spot for what we were looking for.

I began to search through drawers, opening and closing them quickly one after the other. There didn't seem to be anything useful inside, which made me give up and stalk toward the kitchen instead. Again, nothing useful in the cabinets.

Shane joined me downstairs before sitting down at the dining room table behind me. I continued to rummage through cabinets, only finding opened packages of things that were already spoiled.

"Can you believe its been almost three weeks since we've been at Woodbury?" I hoisted myself onto the counter top, using what little upper body strength I had. Shane furrowed his eyebrows together as if it was unbelievable to him.

"Doesn't seem that long ago."

"I know, right? Seems like only yesterday..." I trailed my sentence off as I grabbed an unopened box of crackers that had been stashed on top of the fridge. I didn't dare open the icebox; there's no way I wanted to smell the rotted food inside of the powerless utensil.

I thought back to this morning, about my missed period. Its been more than two weeks since we...

All I'm saying is, after a few days, I'll figure something out. If my suspicion turns out to be true, I'll tell Shane myself. I don't want him to find out from someone else, much like what happened with Rick and Lori.

Shane began to mark our location on a map he kept in the back pocket of his jeans, drawing a big circle around the neighborhood we were in with a red ink pen.

"So," I opened the package of crackers and began to eat them, offering some to Shane. He took a few and listened in to what I had to say.

"I think we should go to the hardware store in town, see what they have left. Could help us fix up the prison, y'know? And we could see what's at the drugstore?" I shot out suggestions to him, feeling restless once again as we sat around.

"Alright." He nodded, taking another look at the map.

"Also," I perked up slightly. "There's a daycare, or kid place, down the road from there. Maybe we could get some toys for Judith and our-" I stopped myself from going further, trying not to set up any ideas in his head after that.

Shane looked up at me, noticing my sudden quietness. He stood up from the table and strolled over to where I was sitting on top of the counter.

"Sounds good to me." Shane leaned down and kissed me, pulling back to gather our things up so we could leave soon.

"Wanna go look around some more?" He asked, which surprised me. I would have thought he'd want to leave as soon as possible to get back, but suppose I was wrong.

I nodded my head at his suggestion and followed him outside. Shane suddenly stopped walking, making me bump into him. I stared straight ahead, clearly confused, and tried to find the source of the dreadful look on his face.

"Shane?" I reached out and held on to his shoulder. He shushed me and ducked behind the truck that was parked. Not knowing what else to do in that moment, I reluctantly followed his lead and crouched down beside him.

There was a group of men and women at least twenty feet in front of us, talking quietly amongst one another as they searched the premesis as we had done earlier.

I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Shane seemed weary of their conversation. He shook his head, scratching the healing scab on his cheek before turning to me.

"Think they're from Woodbury?" I asked, trying to peek over the side of the truck to get a better look at them. They weren't very dirty, which led me to believe my question was correct.

"Dunno." Shane whispered back to me. He leaned his head on the metal truck and pursed his lips together angrily.

They were just standing around with eachother, basically doing nothing but talk. I wasn't even sure what they were supposed to be doing, but I'm sure that wasn't it.

"Do we wait 'em out?"

"Guess so." Shane cocked his shotgun, looking back over to me. "Or we could shoot them."

"We don't even know who they are."

"My point being."

"No," I snorted. "We're not gonna kill them. Unless they try to kill us first."

Shane shrugged his shoulders as if he couldn't care less about their fate. There had to be some sort of compassion inside of his heart, right? At least a little bit.

"What if we ask them some questions? Or maybe-" Before I was able to finish my sentence, the door to the house they had been standing in front of swung open. To my surprise, Philip strutted outside with another man who had bruises on his face.

Shane flinched as he saw who it was, but I grabbed onto his shoulder in case he decided to run toward him. Philip was talking quite loudly, so we were able to hear everything he said.

"This place is cleared. Let's roll out."

"Sir, we found new arsenal while scouting." One of the men said, pointing away from the group to a military vehicle they had rode in.

"When we get back we'll divide things. We need all the power we can handle, let's go."

Shane and I watched as the entire group piled into different vehicles, driving away as fast as they could to return to Woodbury. I let out a shaky breath, feeling as though I may start to cry.

As soon as the vehicles were completely out of sight, Shane stood up.

"Goddammit." He breathed in, clearly angry. I raised my eyebrow at him, standing up as well.

"Problem?" I asked, turning around to go back into the house. He followed me inside, shutting the front door.

"He was right there, I could've killed him."

"Don't be stupid. Two against, how many people were there? Seven, eight? We'd be dead in a second."

"That doesn't matter. As long as he was dead, I could spare my own life, eye for an eye, some shit like that. It'd be better that way. Rick wouldn't be on my ass every day." He instantly regretted saying that, because he shook his head. Shane was frustrated.

"I didn't mean-"

"It's okay." I whispered, staring down at the floor. "We should uh...get to the hardware store. Might close soon." I joked with him, picking up my back pack that had been on the ground beside the dining room table.

"Lillian," Shane stopped me from walking away.

I stared at the floor, feeling my gut twist tightly in a knot as he started to talk softer.

I wasn't exactly mad at him, just hurt that he would risk his life to kill Philip. Sure, we're all basically doing that right now, but to just be outright and say it? It's almost as if he disregarded our entire life together.

"I just meant that, y'know, if he's dead then we could finally sleep without keepin' an eye open at all times."

"It's okay, Shane, really." I nodded my head. "Let's get going, it's gonna be dark soon."

"No, no, no. Don't do that." Shane stood in front of the door way, crossing his arms. He practically towered over me.

"You can't just not talk to me. We gotta communicate n' shit. Tell me what's been bugging you."

I shook my head, trying to act as if everything was okay. In reality, everything seemed as if it was going downhill, fast.

"You can't risk your life for those people. I understand they're your family, and friends, but-"

"Then what's the problem?" Shane was confused. His eyes darted around my face, staring directly into my eyes. I sighed deeply before continuing.

"I'm your family, too. You can't just fuck off and go die and leave me with these people, all alone in that stupid guard tower. And-and if we end up staying at the prison and you're dead and I'm-" I stopped talking, hoping that he was following what I had been saying.

Maybe I was just being selfish. I didn't want him, or anyone else, to die by Philip. How he said he'd give up his own life hurt me, and I wasn't sure why.

"Don't say shit like that. You're scaring me, it's like your gonna slip through my finger tips one of these days. Y'know, lose your mind - go all Nikola Tesla on me."

Shane laughed at my statement, but tried to reassure me anyway.

"I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around me tightly and began to sway back and forth.

"I just don't want you to die."

"I won't." He promised me, kissing my forehead as he pulled away from my grasp. The absence of warmth made my body shiver, but I quickly got over it.

"Let's go, now. I wanna get back some time today." I pushed him aside slightly, opening the front door to head toward the truck. Shane stood still for a while, reminiscing on the conversation we just had.

Everything was just so confusing now, I didn't know why I was being so selfish and emotional, thinking of my own well-being before the whole group's. Maybe it wasn't my life I was looking out for, but Shane's instead.

I just wanted this day to be over already. Hopefully it won't take long to get through the drug and hardware stores; there's no way we'd be staying out at night for long. There'd be too many risks.

Shane started the truck, not bothering to fasten his seat belt. Kinda ironic, knowing he was a cop who enforced said law. I looked over toward him for a few seconds before I caught his eye.

"I love you. I'm sorry I was weird, I just didn't want you to think like that. I'm probably a um, a bitch right now." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. Shane shrugged it off his shoulders as if nothing had even happened.

"I don't blame you. If you said somethin' like that, I woulda done the same thing." He ran his fingers through his scruffy beard, taking a deep breath.

I nodded my head, reaching across to hold Shane's hand. He kissed the back of mine, making me smile as we started to drive away towards town. Everything seemed creepier at night, especially walkers.

Little did I know, walkers weren't the scariest thing out there now. People were, and that made my whole body swell with goosebumps. Knowing what they're capable of nowadays, considering there's no laws available, led me to believe every person is a threat.

Maybe even Shane.


	25. Little Bit Of Everything

"What are we lookin' for?" Shane yelled at me from across the drugstore. I scoffed, throwing my hands up in the air.

"No idea. Just assumed there might be some things around here worth taking. Find anything?" I asked, slightly disinterested in his answer. He just shouted "no" and continued to search.

I was here for a specific reason, but I didn't want to tell him that in case he would get too excited. I waited until he was away from me, too engrossed in something else before I took a box of pregnancy tests from the shelf.

I wasn't sure if they had an expiration date, but this was basically my last hope of finding out what's going on.

Quickly, I tucked the box into my bag and continued to search the shelves. Shane then walked toward me with a look of displeasure plastered across his face.

"Didn't find anything. Should head back out soon, find our way home."

"Yeah." I nodded, lowering my voice. He seemed distracted by something else, as was I.

Something was eating at the pit of my stomach. I didn't exactly know what it was, but it made my intestines turn awkwardly. I grabbed onto my stomach to try to ease the pain, but it just kept coming back. Guilt, maybe?

But what on earth was I guilty of? What have I done this time?

"You okay there?" Shane motioned to my stomach, which I was grasping onto tightly. I nodded, feeling as if I was about to vomit up what little I've eaten today.

"Yeah, just...nauseous." I lied, standing up. "We should go. Got the lumber for the fences, that's what we came for."

"Nauseous?" Shane stared at me, turning his head toward the truck. There was a walker outside making a lot of noise; rustling broken glass, hitting the door frame.

Shane held out one of the knives he had brought with us and got ready to kill the walker outside. I didn't watch, fearing the mere sight of blood would make me feel worse.

I heard a squelching sound that rang in my ears, then a body hit the ground. I held my attention to Shane as he took a second to breathe before returning his position beside me. He wiped the bloody knife onto his pants, holding out his hand to me.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked, helping me to the truck. I nodded, fully assured that I was perfectly capable of doing things on my own.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just go."

The quicker we got to the prison, the sooner I could take my test and find out what was going on for sure.

Shane held onto my hand the entire ride back to the prison, which was more than enough to make me feel secure and happy. I could feel my eyes droop downward, making me yawn multiple times in about five minutes as my body was telling me to go to sleep.

I leaned over and rested my head on Shane's shoulder, hoping it wouldn't make driving too hard for him. After a while, he began to talk to me softly, trying to lull me to sleep. He was telling me a story that I wasn't processing correctly.

It finally happened, and I was passed out completely.

<><><>

Once we returned to the prison, Shane started to jostle me awake. I opened my eyes slowly, realizing the entire truck had stopped inside of the courtyard. People had already started to unload the truck, taking the pieces of wood out of the tailgate to store them away for tomorrow.

I rubbed my eyes, then remembering what I had stashed inside of my back pack while we were at the drugstore. I unbuckled the seat belt wrapped around my body and got out of the truck, throwing my bag over my shoulders.

"You guys got it here?" I asked Rick, Shane, and Glenn. They nodded and continued to unload the different supplies we had taken.

"Where you goin'?" Shane asked me. I froze, trying to think of some sort of lie to tell him.

"Um," I wracked my brain. "I need to talk to Maggie."

"She's in the guard tower." Glenn said, directing my gaze toward one of the towers to my left. A different one that Shane and I had been in earlier.

"Thanks..." I faked a smile and trudged away toward where she was. Maybe this was a good thing? I could get some girl advice from her, maybe some life tips. She seemed to be just as wise as her dad, which was a pretty good thing to me.

I started to climb up the tower, knocking on the latched door. I waited, basically dangling from the ladder, until she finally opened it.

"Lillian." She smiled at me, moving away so I could come inside. "What's up? You doin' okay?"

Should I be honest with her, or just lie about my well-being?

"I'm...okay." I sat down on the floor beside her. She brought her knees upward to her chest and waited for me to speak. I was trying to find the proper words to say, but seemed to be failing miserably.

"What's wrong?" Maggie asked, putting the sniper in her hands on the ground in front of us. She rested her hand on my back lovingly, smiling at me.

I waited until my heart slowed down a bit from the over thinking I had been doing, which made my anxiety flare up like a bonfire inside of my chest.

"I think I'm pregnant." I blurted out, watching the color drain from her face as I did so. She giggled, acting as if I had been playing a prank on her.

"What makes you think that?" Maggie was now serious, realizing I was clearly beaten up about it.

"I missed my period. Like, sure, it could just be a couple days late but a few weeks ago Shane and I..." My sentence trailed off. Maggie fully understood what I had vaguely said, and nodded her head as I spoke quietly.

"Have you taken a test?" She asked. I shook my head and began to sift through my backpack, pulling out an unopened pink box. She sighed.

"That should be your next thing to do."

"I know...I just needed some sort of advice. Motivation." I scanned her face briefly, noticing that she seemed slightly overwhelmed with what had just been thrown at her.

"Did you plan for this?" She asked, turning her body to face me completely. I nodded.

"Kinda. We talked about it, but we were gonna try when the prison was safe. I don't know, I mean - what if in nine months the prison gets overrun. It'll be a hassle to get me the hell out of here with a huge stomach, y'know?"

Maggie laughed at me, shaking her head.

"We'll have a plan, then. That the only reason you're scared?"

I wasn't even sure if I was scared, so to say. More than less, I was just weary of the different consequences that would come with being pregnant. There's no way I could begin to imagine what Lori had to go through; I wasn't sure that processs was something I'd want to happen to me.

"I don't want anything to change. The way Shane sees me, I mean. He'll treat me differently, and not in a good way. More of a baby-bird-with-a-broken-wing kinda way. Not sure I want that to happen."

Sooner or later it was bound to happen. There's no way he could be able to go a day without treating me weirdly, and I didn't want that.

I had noticed the way people talked to Lori after it was announced she was pregnant. They acted like she was helpless, and I don't need that, nor do I want it.

Sure, it'd happen once in a while, but every single day? There's no way I'd be able to handle the guilt of people doing things for me; if that'd even be the case.

"I know you wouldn't want that, I don't blame you. But right now you need to go take that test, and tell Shane. He should be the first one to know anything at all, if there's something to tell."

I knew she was right. I admired Maggie for having the balls to tell people what's what without any guilt whatsoever. I wish I was able to do that; it'd tear up my mind too much and make me go insane if I ever did the same.

We suddenly stood up together, exchanging tight hugs. I then thanked her for being a good friend to me, even after I ditched the group and left the farmhouse. She didn't seem to hold it against me at all, which was a sudden wonder.

I slid down the ladder, acting natural as I walked out of the guard tower. I held on to my back pack straps with both of my thumbs, trying to seem as though I wasn't guilty of anything.

Maybe that's why my stomach was churning while at the drugstore. Possibly due to the different brands of secrets about the possible child growing inside of me that I kept from my boyfriend.

That's only one of the many things I could think of, then.

I walked passed a group of Mercenaries who had been plotting to pull the lumber to make more shields across the courtyard fence. I ignored them and continued to find my way into the cell block we were all living in.

Beth greeted me, asking if I was okay. I nodded briefly, stopping in my tracks to talk to her.

"Just tired, y'know. Long day. I bet you've had it worse, though." I looked down at Judith, who was in the crib that Carl had brought back from the supply run he and the others went on earlier. 

Beth shook her head. "No, she's been pretty good today. No fussing."

"That's good!" I smiled at her, looking to my left at Daryl, Merle, and Cole. They seemed to be having a good time, bullshitting different stories they had come across before the outbreak.

Cole waved at me, making my blood run cold. I didn't want to be included in their stupid conversation; I had other things on my mind to do.

"She's probably saved my life more times than I can count." Cole grinned, holding up a small shot glass in his hands. I instantly became hostile toward him.

"Have you guys been drinking?" I gritted my teeth, taking it from his hands. They shrugged, giving me an abundance of "yeahs" as I stared at them.

I didn't have the patience for this right now. All of my energy was completely drained from today, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep for ten hours.

"Like I said, my little sis is the best." Cole was slurring his words, having Daryl and Merle agree with him. They drunkenly high-fived each other.

Where the hell is everyone? Were they just watching this go down, not bothering to stop it? Clearly there's something wrong with them drinking around a baby, or was that just me?

I took a really deep breath, feeling my lungs compress together as I exhaled and walked away from the three men. Like I said before, everything just seemed to be falling apart.

I could only hope that things would change once Philip showed his face around the prison. Maybe then people would sober up and realize what was happening.

The cell that Shane and I shared was cleaned out completely, which made me rethink my location. Maybe I was just lost, or something.

Carol seemed to miraculously appear behind me with a laundry basket in her hands, asking how I was feeling. Well, right now I was confused.

"Shane asked Rick to move your things into the guard post in the cell block. It was bigger, he figured you two could...use the space." She smiled at me.

I felt completely embarrassed, thanking her for that. She nodded and walked away from where I was standing, doing other chores around the cell block.

The cell still had the privacy sheet, which I used to my advantage to take the pregnancy test. I closed the cell door, moving the blanket so that no one was able to see inside.

It was dark, but I fixed that by shining a flashlight around to see. I quickly unzipped my pants and unwrapped the test from the pink box it had been packaged in.

I waited it out, trying not to panic completely as the test started to show up clearly.

As much as I was able to, I looked away from it, trying to prepare myself for what could possibly be in my hands.

I tidied myself up and sat down on the bed in the darkness, waiting for my heart to calm down.

Quickly, I pressed the power button on my flashlight and braced myself, shining the light on the pregnancy test in my left hand. Before looking down at it, I took a deep breath and suddenly opened my eyes.

And there it was. A little pink plus sign, mocking me.

Me chest was tight and enclosed, but I somehow felt relived at that point. Shane would be ecstatic, and that excited me that we would be able to start a mini family within a bigger one.

All I had to do now was tell him the news.


	26. Easier Said Then Done

I was walking around the prison, trying to find out where Shane was at so I could break the news to him directly. I kept the test in my pocket, just in case he didn't believe me at first.

As soon as I spotted Shane and Rick, they seemed to be arguing with one another again. I rolled my eyes at their bickering, strolling up the the car they were beside.

"What the hell was I supposed to do? He had eight other men with him!"

I soon realized what they were yelling about and chose to back off until they were finished. Rick briefly looked at me but turned back to his friend instead.

"It's fine." Rick suddenly let the conversation drop to the gates of hell. I sat quietly, staring at the ground as to not disturb them.

"What?" Shane seemed confused. "Just like that?"

"Yeah. Just like that. Get some sleep you two, we have shit to do tomorrow."

The argument was completely over once Rick walked away. Shane took his cap off and rubbed his head before looking to me.

"You believe that guy?" He asked rhetorically, shaking his head. I began to wonder what Rick had said to piss off Shane so much, but soon let it go.

"Uh..." I ran my hand over my thigh and exhaled, glad that I didn't get in the middle of that quarrel.

"Did you need somethin'?" Shane held his hand out for me. I took it and hopped off of the car I had been sitting on, shaking my head at his question.

"No, I just...wanted to see what you were up to." I needed to tell him, but not right now. Not when he was in the worst mood possible.

I didn't want him to just shrug it off completely. This was a big deal for both of us, believe it or not. He needed a chance to cool off a bit before I bombarded him with anything else.

"Arguin'. Ain't no end with either of us, I swear." Shane wiped his hands with a grease covered towel, looking to me apologetically.

"How was your uh, talk with Maggie?"

I had almost forgot I told them that's what I had been doing this whole time. At first I assumed he was crazy, then I came to realize I was probably the crazy one in the equation.

"Oh, it was okay. Just needed help with somethin'. I have it figured out."

He nodded, and picked up a blue toolbox that was on the ground beside his feet. I followed beside him as we walked back up to the cell blocks.

"Shane I-" My voice was quiet, and I stopped myself from saying anything. He didn't seem to have heard me, which was a good thing.

"Rick got pissy when I told him we saw Philip. You were right, we shouldn't have done anything. Good call." He smiled at me, wrapping his free arm around my shoulders.

I grinned, feeling an "I told you so" coming along, but chose to ignore it and nod my head instead.

"We should go and get some sleep. You see the new set up? Guard post - thought the cell was too small, and no one was occupying that space."

"Heard about that, didn't get a chance to look, though." I tried to keep up with the conversation, but there were just too many other things going on inside of my head then.

"Rick was right, we'll have a busy day tomorrow."

"Doing what?" I asked, staring down at the ground as we stepped on top of damp soil.

"Fences, clearing out the walkers. He wants to go ahead and find some seeds n' shit to plant. Wants to play farmer, I guess."

"We need to make sure everyone is armed."

Shane agreed with me, holding open the cell block door as I went through first.

When would be the right time to tell him? Right now? In the morning? My judgment wasn't very good, I'm not sure how much I trust myself to make a decision like this.

In the end, I decided just to tell him in the morning. If I could last that long.

<><><>

I woke up before Shane, and I slowly stood up from the mattress we shared. He was out cold, which was a good thing for me as I began to get dressed for the day to come.

After I was fully clothed, I quickly sprung out of the room in order to not disturb Shane. He was probably exhausted from yesterday, which was understandable considering the heaps of work he completed.

Beth greeted me, as she always does in the morning, and started a conversation with me as I helped her mix a bottle for Judith. I'd need to start learning how to do all of this; in nine months it'll be my top priority.

"How're you feeling?" I asked her, handing the shaken formula over. She gladly took it and began feeding Judith.

"Pretty good. Kinda tired."

"Do you want me to take over while you get some rest?" I asked. I wanted as much practice as i was able to get, now. 

Beth perked up a little bit, nodding her head at my offer.

"Not for a long time, I'm just gonna go change my clothes. Thanks!" She gently handed Judith to me, making sure I was holding her accordingly. I held the baby in my arms, swaying back and forth, mimicking what Daryl had done the night she was born.

I watched Beth walk away toward one of the cells before sitting down on the bench behind me. My eyes trailed down to her face as she slept, breathing quietly.

Glenn and Maggie then walked into the cell block, looking to me with a smile.

"Lillian how did...that thing go?" Maggie asked, trying to be as vague as possible as to not give away anything to Glenn. I nodded slowly, realizing soon after what she had been talking about.

"It checked out." I smiled at her. Her eyes grew wide, and she smiled at me brightly. Maggie composed herself and nodded, looking toward Glenn.

"Uh..." she tried to make an excuse, which made Glenn slightly suspicious.

"I'm missing something here." Glenn sat down on the bench beside me, along with Maggie. I looked away frm them toward Judith and smiled softly at the baby.

"Have you told you-know-who?" Maggie asked, disregarding Glenn and what he had said.

"No. I was waiting for the right time...I don't know when that is."

Hopefully Shane won't be as overwhelmed today, so that I can finally tell him what's been on my mind all night.

"Guys." Glenn threw his hands upward and chuckled slightly. "What's going on?"

I wanted to tell him, but was it wrong to spread the news to two other people besides the person who put the baby there in the first place? If I didn't say anything, I feared Glenn would become annoyed with me.

"I, uh..." Before I could get another word in, Beth walked back out of her cell to get Judith once again. I handed the small baby over to her and stood up. I watched as she began to rock Judithback and forth inher arms.

"Thanks, Lil." Beth sat in my place. I shrugged at Glenn and started to walk away from them, but they just followed me outside of the cell block.

"Lillian, are you okay? Is everything-"

"Glenn, I'm perfectly fine. Really." I tried to assure him, but his questions just kept on coming at me. Maggie set her hand on his shoulder, shaking her head.

"What is going on?" Glenn asked Maggie, who looked at me with a solemn stare. I took a deep breath, knowing he'd probably bug me about it all day if I didn't tell him sooner or later.

"I'm...pregnant." I whispered, barely loud enough that he could even hear me. Glenn laughed nervously and nodded his head.

"Oh."

"Don't tell anyone. I haven't even told Shane yet," I stopped myself as the cell block door opened, revealing the same man we had been talking about. He waltzed out, smiling at me as he buckled his belt.

"Mornin'" he smiled at Glenn and Maggie. They returned the gesture and looked at me, silently telling me to tell him already. Glenn then made up an excuse, saying Rick wanted them to clear out walkers by the fences.

They disappeared behind the corner, leaving Shane and I alone together. I turned to look at him, feeling my heart start to beat faster.

"And good morning to you." He leaned down and gave me a kiss. I smiled, resting my hand on his chest as we kissed eachother for a few seconds.

I then pulled away, looking down at the ground with a confused look. My chest felt tight and my head began to ache badly.

"I have to tell you something."

Shane seemed nervous at what I had to say, but sat down on a bench alongside me as I prepared myself mentally.

"Everything okay?" He put his hand on my back, making small circling motions as to help calm me down. I felt sick to my stomach, and I wasn't sure why.

Maybe it was the impending doom that fell upon my shoulders as I debated a strategy to break the news. There was no doubt that he'd be excited, but it was hard for the words to come out of my mouth.

"Hey, hey, hey. Lillian?" Shane saw that my cheeks had begun to turn red, signaling I was about to cry.

"I'm pregnant." I laughed weakly, wiping away a trail of tears that were running down my face. Shane stared at me, trying to process what I had just told him.

"You're..." he stood up, a smile on his face. "You're sure?"

"Yes." I nodded my head and stood up beside him. Shane practically fell to his knees in excitement, laughing and crying happily at the news. He looked back up to me and rested his forehead on my stomach.

"It's okay to cry." I laughed, running my fingers through his hair lovingly.

"Oh, baby." He choked on his tears. Shane started to kiss my stomach simultaneously, trailing up to my lips.  
"When did you - when did you find out?"

"Last night. I - I wanted to make sure it was the right time to tell you."

"I'm gonna be a dad?" He took a sharp breath and grasped onto my body in a tight hug. He let go, trying not to crush my whole body under his weight.

Rick, Daryl, and a group of Virgil's men were walking towards us. They all were armed with guns, acting as if they were going to shoot up Woodbury themselves.

"Everything alright?" Rick asked us. Shane wiped his face, trying to act tough again in front of everyone else.

"Rick, man, you're not gonna believe this." Shane smiled and started to walk towards the group of people in front of us.

Rick watched Shane as he explained the situation, telling them about my situation. I stood back, slightly embarrassed as I grabbed my stomach.

"Congratulations, you two. I hate to ruin the good news, but uh, your brother wanted to talk to you."

I nodded my head, looking toward Shane. "I'll be back sooner or later." I mumbled. He smiled.

I started to walk off, meeting eyes with Daryl for a swift moment before I quickened my pace. We bumped elbows, which made my heart start to beat rapidly as if he'd yell at me for doing so.

I was shaky, and I wasn't sure why. Could be my anxiety, could be my blood pressure - there's no way to know for sure.

Cole was no where to be found, which just made me wonder where he had wandered off to this time. Maybe he was flirting with one of the guards, again. Or maybe this time it was Beth he had been flirting with.

I caught him doing that a few times, but he had insisted they were "just talking." As if I'd believe that, knowing what my brother is up to.

Virgil waved at me, scrunching up his nose as he looked around the courtyard. He seemed paranoid, like he was on drugs or something.

"Cole went out." He said bluntly. I blinked a few times, throwing up my hands in front of my torso.

"Out? What the hell do you mean out?" I asked, clearly angry at his poor choice of words.

"Your stupid brother went to Woodbury. He wanted to scope the place out; haven't heard from him in a bit."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You just let him walk out?" I yelled at him. "How long has he been gone?"

"Oh, uh, few hours. Not quite sure." Virgil shrugged as if it meant absolutely nothing to him. Although, it probably didn't.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I pushed on his chest. He didn't move, which didn't surprise me considering he was way taller, stronger, and muscular than I was.

"Lotta things." He chuckled at me.

I swear, this guy was an actual lunatic. There's no way he could possibly think any of this was okay. My brother was walking straight into a death trap, or worse.

I shook my head in disgust at Virgil, and began to walk away from where he was standing. He didn't move a muscle as I disappeared to find Shane and Rick.

They were beside eachother, alone, conversing about who-knows-what. As soon as they spotted me, I was immediately added into the conversation.

"What's the matter?" Shane asked, looking down at my stomach. I groaned and began to explain what Cole was doing.

"I need to go after him."

"No, no, no way. You ain't riskin' your life out there for him. You hear me?" Shane disagreed, throwing the option out to the dogs as table scraps.

"He's my brother. I have to, Virgil said he's been gone a while..."

"No. He'll turn up eventually, that boy has the stealth of a toad in a swamp. He'll be back."

Maybe he was right. I just needed to wait a little longer, and hope for the best.

Or, maybe that was all complete shit and I needed to go after my idiot brother who may, or may not, be dead already.

"Fine. You're right, he'll be back." I lied, trying to convince Shane that I wouldn't do anything. In a split second, he changed the grimace to a smile toward me.

"I assure you, your brother is a tough S-O-B. May not look it, but he's got the muscle." Shane kissed my forehead. "Rick needs me inside, you comin'?"

"Sure." I nodded, and looked away from him for a split second. "Shit, I left my gun on the table over with Virgil. I'll meet you two inside, yeah?" I lied, watching them nod to eachother before walking away.

I made sure they were completely inside of the door before turning swiftly on my heel. I took the gun out from behind my jeans and smiled to myself.

I sped off towards the main fences, grabbing a set of car keys from inside of the guard tower before asking one of Virgil's people to open the gate for me.

I'd only be gone for a while, there'd be no reason to worry about me. I just hoped that Shane would understand.  
Knowing him, he couldn't stay mad at me for too long. I mean, I am pregnant with his child.


	27. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

For a while, the roads seemed quiet. Occasionally I would look down at the map just to be sure I was going the right way. It's been such a long time since I've been here, it seems like.

There would sometimes be a walker on the side of the road who would trudge toward my car as I drove passed them, but that didn't phase me at all.

I began to feel guilty, fully realizing what I had done to Shane. By now, he probably assumed I had gone to search for my brother. Maybe it was a really bad idea, doing this for such an asshole like Cole, but I couldn't just leave him out here.

What if he was seriously hurt? Or maybe Philip has shot him, kidnapped him, or maybe just left him to become a walker - doomed to roam earth for an eternity.

I started to slow down the car, stopping completely to think about exactly what I had just pulled off doing. I successfully broke away from the prison, alone, and was now on my way back to the camp where Philip was.

The same man who beat me, punched me in the gut, gave me bruise to last for weeks. I was waltzing right back into his camp just to save my brother.

But it was for a good cause, right? Maybe by doing this, the world would give me a well-intentioned kick in the ass to make sure I got my shit together soon.

Or maybe it was a wake up call for Cole. If he was kidnapped, maybe it signaled to him that he shouldn't be a douchebag to people from now on until his death.

Either way, I was already this far. That meant I had to go through with it. 

I turned the car's key, trying to start the engine up once again. After a few tries, the engine wouldn't turn over to where it would fire up.

I grew agitated, and started to beat the steering wheel a few times before I realized I was honking the horn as well.

A few walkers poked there heads out of the trees to see what it was that had been making the loud noise. Sadly, it was me they were looking for.

I felt like cussing them out, but what good would that do? They wouldn't be able to understand a single word I was saying, so why should I waste my own energy?

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I finally got out of the car with a knife in my hand. I grasped it tightly, waiting until the first walker got close enough for me to stab it in the temple.

After that one fell to the ground, I turned toward the second one and did the same. The third, and last walker was at least twenty feet away from me, which wasn't something to worry about.

I began walking down the road, holding onto my gun tightly in case I ran into any trouble. I didn't really have a plan for when I got to Woodbury, but at this point I was too stupid to aknowledge it.

A few minutes passed of just the walker and I. The growling sound it made was enough to drive anyone crazy, but before I even had to chance to look back at it, there was a car driving straight toward it.

I watched, slightly curious as to what was about to happen. The car strolled beside the walker, and the driver door opened, smacking the walker. It fell to the ground, in which the car began to speed up.

I kept walking, until it finally caught up to me. I braced myself for whatever it was that would happen next, and what would be my fate.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Shane yelled at me, stopping the car in front of me. I took a deep breath, knowing it was only a matter of time before he found me.

"Finding my brother. He's still out there-"

"Lillian." Shane was standing in front of me, grabbing my shoulders tightly.  
"He's back. He's - he's safe, and back, and has some news to tell us."

"Really?" I breathed out, smiling at him. "Thank god."

"Let's go back, hm?" Shane started to lead me toward the car he rode in, opening the passenger door for me.

"You can't do shit like this. Not when you're-" Shane stopped, and turned the car on. "You scared the shit out of me. One minute you were there, the next I was cussing through the whole damn prison. You're pregnant, for God's sake - what did you think you were gonna do? Waltz up to the gates, ask for your brother?" He began to ramble on about responsibility to me.

I was just happy that Cole was back at the prison, and not in the governor's clutches. This trip was worthless, but it was some good alone time for myself.

"Y'know? I got worried, you just up and took off."

"Shane, I'm okay." I tried to stop him from chewing my ass out anymore, but he just kept talking.

"But if you weren't? I wasn't even sure I'd find you out here, alright? Coulda been walker food by now, jesus."

"But I'm alive."

"And if you died? I'd have no way of knowing that, I'd have to bury an empty grave." 

"Relax." I shut him up by holding onto his thigh. He shuffled in his seat as I kissed his cheek sensually, shaking his head at me.

"I can't. Not now, not with what you just - Lillian, don't." He pushed my hand away, staring back at the road. I smiled at him, crossing my arms.

"Everything is okay! Cole is back, we're set up for when Philip gets here. Everything is right in the world. Right? Have some fun, Walsh. No pain in that."

"Right." He mumbled, nodding nervously as I began to lean over to kiss his cheek again. Shane let me this time, and smiled.

Surprisingly, he rested his own hand on my thigh as he drove back. I bit down on my lip, staring at him with a devious grin.

I didn't have anything to worry about anymore. All was right in the world I thought. Hopefully it'll stay that way for a long time.

<><><><>

As soon as we got back to the prison, I immediately began to search for Cole. I started calling out his name throughout the courtyard, turning my body in every direction.

Rick seemed to be looking at me as if I were crazy, which made me confused. I turned around to look at Shane, then realizing why everyone thought I was acting crazy.

It was odd to see the different people, some of which barely knew me, look at me as if I had just escaped a mental asylum. My stomach churned in different, unsettling ways, signaling to me that something was way off.

"Where is he?" I asked Shane, gritting my teeth as he stared at the ground. It then hit me like a brick to the face, agrivating me.

Cole wasn't actually here. Shane had most likely said that just to get me back, and it worked. Out of all the different times I could be a complete dumbass, this just had to be it.

"He's not..." I tried not to raise my voice at Shane, but it was kinda hard not to be mad considering he lied straight to my face about if my brother was safe or not.

"I couldn't let you stay out there by yourself." Shane whispered. Everyone in the courtyard was staring at us, which only made me angrier.

I didn't say anything to him in fear I may start a fight between us. Instead, I began to walk away towards the guard tower Shane and I had spent hours in, just to get away from all of the people looking at us.

He followed me closely, wondering what exactly I was planning to do next. Shane tried to stop me from walking away, but I kept pulling away from his grasp on my shoulder.

"Don't." I shook my head, swinging the tower door open widely. Shane shut it behind us and started up the ladder after me.

It stunned me that he even had the nerve to lie to me like that. Telling me Cole was back, and safe, and had some good news for us when we returned; utter bullshit.

Didn't he know by now not to fuck with me, or hell would break loose completely? I was already struck with a bad mood due to my brother running off, but for him to pull a stunt like that just pissed me off even more.

As soon as we were alone in the guard tower, I began going off on him. I yelled, started to scream, and tried not to choke on the lump in my throat that only seemed to grow bigger.

Shane didn't say anything back to me. He didn't try to correct me, or excuse his behavior in any way, which was certainly a surprise to me.

"Why is all I can ask! Why, Shane, why did you feel the need to bring me back? My brother is still out there, and I have no way of knowing if he's safe or not!"

After a few moments of silence, Shane shrugged his shoulders loosely. He, again, didn't reply at all.

"We should be completely honest, I mean, for fuck's sake we're going to have a baby together soon. I don't-" My mouth clamped shut. I then noticed he was still listening, but decided not to interject in any way.

"Do you trust me?" Shane asked, sitting down in the wooden chair in a corner beside me. I didn't know what to tell him.

This wasn't a matter of trust, it was about him lying to me, and the fact that I still had no clue where my sibling was. If he hadn't have stopped me, maybe I'd know by now.

"Do you have a reason for me not to?"

Shane just laughed at me, scratching his chin. He always did that when he was frustrated, much like how I always break off mid-sentence when arguing with someone.

He clasped his hands together, shrugging again. "You tell me."

"We need to - to be completely honest from now on. I don't want to fight every single day, I'm so tired of it. All of the hate, and - and the tears."

"Then be honest." He sat back in the chair. I wasn't exactly sure where he was going with his sentence, and all I could do was stare at him as if he were ill.

"I need to find my brother. He could be dead, for all I know."

I didn't want to cry. I couldn't; not while arguing. It would defeat the entire purpose of being mad and make it seem as if I have no control of my emotions.

"You can't do that." Shane shook his head. "Not with Philip still out there threatening us. You could run into him again, god knows what would happen then."

I wasn't in the mood for him to give me a safety lecture. Time was wasting as we just stood up here bickering with one another. Granted, I did start it all, but now I was trying to end it to the best of my abilities.

"I'm a grown woman, I'm fairly certain I have a say in where I take myself." I snapped at him. Shane nodded his head, agreeing with me to an extent.

"Yeah, you are a grown woman, but you're acting like a child. Your brother is capable of taking care of himself, and if he's run into some trouble he can figure it out alone."

"You did not just call me a child." I laughed rhetorically. "At least I don't put on some sort of routine around people. Oh, big and tough guy over here - thinks he can punch anyone who walks through the door!"

"I don't need people stepping over me like a doormat, which is exactly what you're doing."

"Fuck you, I'd rather have friends than have people be scared of me!" I pushed his chest, taking a step backward.

It was odd. Not once has Shane raised his voice at me, and it made me uneasy. I figured that as long as he yells, at least he's getting the bottled up anger out so he doesn't eventually explode.

I didn't know what to say after that, and neither did he. My adrenaline was rushing my nerves, making my energy start to drain faster as I breathed in and out slowly.

"What do you suggest I do?" I whispered. Shane sat back down in the wooden chair, burying his face in the palms of his hands.

We were both exhausted and angry, which wasn't really a good mixture of emotions at the time.

As Shane started to think over my question, I slid down the wall and sat down. I wanted to bang my head on the concrete in hopes that I would feel better about the disappearance of my brother.

That wouldn't work, though. I've tried doing that many times before, when I still lived in the city, before the epidemic. Never, not once, did it help me.

Now, alcohol is the way to go if you want to temporarily forget something.

"Stay here. We need to finish getting things ready, who knows when he wants to attack."

"What am I supposed to do about Cole? I can't just leave him, I - fuck, Shane. He's the last person I..."

"Focus on the bigger picture here. It was his choice to go, he can take care of it himself. He wouldn't want you to go after him, you hear me?"

I nodded, turning away from him. I felt embarrassed, realizing I was acting like a stuck-up child who threw a fit when I didn't get my way.

"There's plenty of other things to worry about. Like our baby, and Philip - we have to take him down."

"You're right." I nodded again, rubbing my forehead as a headache started to catch on. My brain felt like it was throbbing, which couldn't be a good sign.

"Let's go fix up the place, or whatever the hell we're supposed to do." I didn't mean to sound petty and rude, but that's just the way it came out. Shane seemed slightly offended that I was acting this way, but what did he expect?

As I stood up from the dusty ground, Shane pulled me into a tight hug, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"I don't want to see you hurt is all. I couldn't live with myself if you..." he trailed off before shaking the thought away. "I just want the best for you."

"I get it." I mumbled.

"Do you really?" Shane looked down at me, letting go of my body. I nodded reluctantly, and opened the hatch on the floor to exit the tower.

He stayed inside for a few minutes as I left, probably contemplating what to do next after our little argument.

I didn't know what to say to anyone as I went back into the cell block. Everyone seemed too preoccupied with different chores, I wasn't sure where I fit into the equation.

This entire day has been a huge mess, and it would only get worse from here.


	28. Trouble

There always seemed to be something bad going on in the prison. I didn't want to get involved at all, which is why I was trying to hide from everyone in my bed. No one seemed to notice I was gone at first, until Shane walked in the find me.

"What are you doin'?" He asked. I didn't even bother to turn my head to look at him.

"Nothing." I said through the pillow, which muffled my voice drastically. Shane nodded his head and crossed his arms; he seemed angry, but I knew that wasn't the case.

"Alright." Shane sighed, and began to walk away from where I was. I thought about staying in bed, but then realized I would be a better help somewhere else around the prison. If not, I could always come back and wallow some more.

I quickly sat up in the bed and watched him for a few moments before actually getting out of bed to go after him.

"Did you need me to do something?" I asked. Shane contemplated for a short minute, stopping in his tracks to look toward me.

"No, just rest-" He was interrupted abruptly by Maggie and Glenn as they stormed inside of the building. They were frantic, running around the common room in order to grab different weapons.

"Philip and his men are driving this way." She threw an assault rifle at me, disappearing outside once again.

Shane and I didn't waste any time going out into the courtyard. We were greeted with at least thirty foreign people on the property, and Philip was standing on top of one of their trucks.

Rick was talking to him, which I couldn't hear. Shane pushed me away behind one of the steel picnic tables that had been turned on its side facing the main gate.

"Stay here." He ordered, pushing my body downward. I kneeled behind the table, watching as he started to run away to be beside Rick.

My fight or flight response was boiling inside of my stomach. There had been voices all around me yelling to each other to take cover in case things went south. Knowing Philip, it would turn into a shit show soon.

I didn't want to cower, but I knew if I were to get up and join Shane he'd be mad at me for doing so. I wasn't sure what to do, it felt like my body was frozen stiff.

My eyes moved away from the ground, and up toward Philip as he and Rick yelled together, arguing over something I didn't pay any real attention to.

"Lillian? Hey, hello?" Daryl waved his hand in front of my face. I blinked to clear my vision before staring at the toppled bus that Rick was on.

"Take this." Daryl handed a cold, spherical object to me. I looked down at the thing in my hand, shaking violently.

"I can't take this, who the fuck do you think I am?" I tried to give the hand grenade back to him, but he was already running away from me into the guard tower.

"What the hell." I cussed under my breath. I carefully set the grenade down on the ground beside me and stood up from behind the table.

"Rick, where is she?" I heard Philip yell, cocking a shotgun in his hands. I crouched down beside Maggie, watching as she held onto Beth.

They were both deathly afraid of what was about to happen, and I soon realized I should be afraid as well.

"Alright, if you won't get them for me, I guess I'll just have to kill him." Philip laughed out loud and pointed towards one of his men.

They opened the back doors to a van and pulled out a man. His wrists and legs were tied up so he couldn't run away, and he seemed awfully miserable.

Philip jumped onto the ground and started to handle the man roughly, dragging him upward to where everyone was able to see who exactly he was.

I should've been surprised, but somehow I wasn't. Cole was in Philip's grasp, being tossed around as if he were a cheap ragdoll. Maggie rested her hand on my shoulder to comfort me, but I pushed her off and stood up straight.

I began to march down into the field where Rick, Philip, Shane and Cole were at, along with countless others fighting for opposite teams. There wasn't a single moment where I wanted to turn back to the prison.

Sure, Cole was a grade A asshole, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he should have to be punished for something Shane and I had done. I heard Philip laugh as he spotted me.

"Nice of you to join the party." Philip chuckled. Shane was wide eyed and pissed off as he looked at me.

"I told you to stay up there!" He pushed me backwards, hoping I didn't get too close to Philip. I nodded.

"He has my brother, Shane. I can't just sit up there."

"Look, you can all turn around right now. Get out of the prison, no hard feelings." Rick tried to reason with Philip, but it only seemed to anger the man even more. 

As they spoke to eachother, I tried to devise some sort of plan in the little time I had. I didn't perform very well under copious amounts of pressure, but I was working with the small amount of confidence I had.

Maybe I could just kill Philip right now?

No, that would most likely lead to his people raging war on us. I couldn't really think of anything else, though.

When I zoned back in to the conversation, I noticed that Philip now had a gun to Cole's temple. He was spitting venom at me, threatening to shoot my brother.

"You can take me!" I blurted out.

"No way!" Shane yelled, pointing his gun at Philip. I ignored him.

"I'll go to Woodbury, just let my brother go!"

"No, Lillian! Philip, we can talk this out, alright? Put the gun down and we can have a little chat about things, right here and now." Rick held out his hand toward the crazed man. "We can all live peacefully, somehow."

Everyone was completely silent after his some-what inspirational speech. Philip was staring at the ground, pulling the hammer to his gun backward, ready to shoot.

I watched him closely, hoping he wouldn't make any irrational decisions in the next few seconds.

"Liar."

Philip pulled the trigger, sending a bullet into Cole's head. I started screaming bloody murder, shaking my head at the sight of my dead brother. His body fell forward, slumping onto the ground.

Cole was dead.

"No!" I picked up the gun Maggie had given me earlier and started to shoot at the army of people in front of me. I was blinded by the tears in my eyes, which were making everything blurry as I sobbed uncontrollably.

I couldn't believe that my brother, Cole Maxwell, was officially dead. Sure, when he was gone for that long while I just assumed he was, but now that his dead body was bleeding onto the grass, it was easier to fathom.

I wasn't even able to take the time to mourn him, considering I was being shot at by a countless number of people behind the fences.

"Lillian, get down!" Shane yelled at me from across the courtyard. He was covering me, shooting the walkers that had begun pouring through the fences with the opposing army as they got closer.

I ignored him, looking for a different way to go so I could dodge the corpses coming my way.

Before I was able to make a decision, Philip tackled me, pushing all of his weight onto me. He sat on top of my body, pinning me to the ground.

His weight was twice my own, and given that I wasn't really strong, he had full control over me.

"World like this, you gotta cut corners to get what you want." Philip punched my face, landing a full-blown hit to my left cheek. I cried out in pain, trying to push him off of me with little luck.

A shot rang out in my ear, and the next thing I knew, Philip was on the ground. He was grabbing his shoulder, the one with a fresh bullet hole that was dripping blood, cursing under his breath.

"Bastard!" I yelled, getting up on my feet. I watched him as he took off running behind the tilted bus, trying to get out of our fight he had started.

My body had adrenaline rushing through it, making it almost impossible to hear anything around me. I took short steps, aiming my gun closely as I turned the corner of the rusted bus he was behind.

Philip was nowhere to be seen. As I began to search, looking every which way for him, I heard a gun hammer being pulled back from behind me.

"Drop it." Philip ordered. I scrunched up my nose, and reluctantly threw the gun to my right a few feet away from where I stood.

"Turn around."

I turned on my heel, flipping him off as Philip laughed at my eager attempt to make him mad. He had abandoned holding onto his shoulder, and was now giving his full attention to me.

"Oh, Lillian. I'm almost sorry that I have to kill you."

"You don't have to. Shane and I can come back with you, we can - we'll go back to how it was, I promise" I tried to hold back the seething avalanche of tears that were being used to wash away my anger, but I was failing miserably.

Philip scoffed at my usage of motivating words. I should've known he wouldn't fall for that, but at this point I felt completely helpless.

"Promises are desperate pleas made by desperate people." 

I rolled my eyes at the words he spat, making it seem as if he were some sort of new age Shakespeare.

He had a gun to my chest as he monologued, saying this would end with me dying. I didn't want to believe him, but deep down in my mind I already knew it would happen. I just didn't want to accept it.

He suddenly punched me, making my face start to sting badly. Again, he rammed his fist into my face. I could feel the wound start to trickle blood down my neck, making my cheeks swell up with every hit he took at me.

Philip used all of the force he had to throw my body onto the ground, kicking my stomach as if his own life depended on it. I suppose that it did, though.

I was out of breath, and started to cough up blood as my intestines were interrupted by his anger. He kicked me again, hard, making me fall over onto the ground in a fit. I shook my head, trying to do whatever I could to make him stop so I could catch my breath.

Philip laughed at my pleas, and held a gun towards me instead of shoving his foot into my abdomen again.

"Do it." I coughed, spitting my own blood into his direction. Philip smiled.

"Careful what you wish for."

He pulled the trigger on the gun he was holding, giving me a giant grin as he did so.

My body was hit with a wave of numbness, to which I looked down at my torso to see what had caused the pain. Blood was pouring from my stomach, and I looked back up to Philip as he held the gun to my body, still. I grabbed at my stomach, trying desperately to keep my blood from oozing onto the ground.

Then, everything seemed to go into slow motion as, undoubtedly, another large amount of adrenaline was rushed through my veins. It caused my senses to fire faster as they disappeared one by one.

Laying on the ground, where no one else could see us, made me feel completely alone. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if I died and Shane had no idea where I was. He would be devastated.

I felt my lungs begin to squeeze tightly, and my breaths were agonizingly painful and terribly short. Every breath I took in that moment was like a knife turning in my lung, tearing open a giant hole to let my oxygen escape.

From my peripheral vision, Philip was walking closer toward me. He was laughing as I struggled to breathe, staggering every breath as I tried to speak. I was unable to, and he thought it was fucking hilarious to watch me.

The feeling of warm blood pouring down my shirt, adding to the pool of blood underneath me, the veinous flow coming directly from the now hot, burning wound on, and in, my torso made me want to scream.

He was saying something to me that I wasn't able to hear. I could see his lips moving slowly, and a smile crowding his features as he pointed the gun at me.

"I'll see you in hell, one of these days." He pulled the hammer to his gun back once again. I stared at him, trying not to seem weak. Even in my dying moments, I didn't want him to think he had won the battle against me.

"Shoot me" I choked back the blood that was filling my mouth. "You fucking bastard."

"Even on the verge of death you think you're stronger than me, huh?"

"Don't be a coward" I was struggling to speak, watching him helplessly as he got closer to shoot me again. I put my bloody hand up to him, as if it would stop the next bullet from killing me.

Before Philip had the chance to shoot me in the head, a different bullet went through his own, scattering pieces of his skull and brain onto the grass beside me. His body fell to the ground, causing my torso to grow stiff and cold. Philip was finally dead. 

I flinched, feeling myself lurch forward as I tried to scream for help. My throat made weak squeaking noises as I gargled blood, spitting it out to yell for someone to rescue me.

I laid there for about a minute before Shane walked around the tilted bus. I could barely whisper, and stared up at the sun as it rained down on my skin in glowing rays. Tears started falling from my eyes as soon as I had spotted him walk toward me.

I could hear his muffled screaming. I didn't want to look, but had no choice as he leaned down in front of me. Shane brushed the hair from my face, trying to wipe away the tears that were running down both of my cheeks.

He screamed, asking, begging for help as I bled out onto his hands. He tried to hold pressure to my wound, looking down at me as I breathed hard.

"It's gonna be okay, baby. Look at me, I'm right here. Lillian, don't close your eyes. Please, don't. You can't leave me! I'll stay right beside you, but you gotta stay with me here." He was sobbing, and I hated myself for being the cause of his sadness.

Shane screamed again, yelling at Rick and Glenn to come to his side, to help get me into the cell block to safety. I tried to whisper to him, to tell him I loved him just one last time before my heart would finally stop.

"Rick! Please, someone!" I heard him yell as loud as he could. He repeated himself, until his eyes met with my own.

"Shane..." I choked out finally, grabbing into his arm with my blood covered hands. "I-"

"Shh, baby, don't talk. Just keep your eyes open for me here, alright?"

I began to loose my vision, which made everything ten times worse. It looked like white-out was erasing my sight, clouding my eyes as if I were blind. I began to go into hypo-volemic shock. I lost my ability to see, and couldn't tell what was going on around me.

"Come on, baby. Lillian, please don't - you gotta keep your eyes open for me, okay? Look at me, please. You can't die."

Blood was dripping from my mouth, making it even harder to breath as it clogged my throat. Shane kept yelling, over and over again, trying his best not to jostle my body too much as more blood oozed from my wound.

I could barely hear him then. His voice was fading out more every second. I felt his hand brush against my arm as another person grabbed onto my body to lift me upward.

After that, I couldn't tell you anything else. I wasn't sure if I was dead, or unconscious at that point. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I had left Shane alone and heartbroken, though.

He was barking out orders for Virgil's men, trying to get a clear, safe path to the cell block for me and the others.

It was almost like some sort of guardian angel was lifting me upward, taking me off somewhere else. Away from the disgusting new world we fell into years ago. If only that was the case, it would've been so much better than this fate.

Everything was slowly fading away, making me feel even more alone than before. I didn't want to be alone when I die, that's my biggest fear.

Other than leaving Shane alone. Who knows, if I were to die, if he would act out like Rick had done when his wife, Lori, died, or if he would have done something else.

I didn't want to find out what he would do, which meant I'd have to fight like hell to get through this alive.

"You're okay, Lillian. I love you - you'll get through this!"


	29. Too Good At Goodbyes

(Shanes pov.)

We were rushing around the cell block, trying to get a hold of medical supplies from a locked closet at the end of the hallway. Hershel was yelling out different orders for people as Glenn and I rested Lillian on one of the tables in the common area, laying her on top of a folded sheet.

My eyes were bloodshot from crying, which was obvious to everyone around me. Carol was pushing me back slightly, trying to give items to Hershel as they began to clean up the gunshot wound in her chest.

Rick held me back with him, trying to comfort me and say that she'd be fine and to let them do their job. I reluctantly nodded and took a few steps backward. Hershel then yelled out from across the room.

"She'll need blood. Do you know her blood type?" He asked no one in particular. The room was silent, then Daryl spoke up suddenly from beside Beth.

"AB positive. She's uh - I can give blood." He choked out, watching her closely. I could hear the cracks in his voice as he watched Lillian bleed onto the table, fearing the same thing we all did.

"She'll need a lot of blood." Hershel warned.

"I'll give her mine. AB plus can get blood from anyone, right?" I asked, holding my arm out towards the old man. He nodded his head, turning to Maggie as she began to hand over different medical syringes and supplies.

"Get them set up for a transfusion."

Maggie rushed around toward us and made Daryl and I sit down at one of the tables. She started to unwrap a set of tubes and needles that I didn't pay much attention to.

I was too busy watching Lillian. Blood was still pouring from her chest onto the blankets, staining them a permanent red color. Maggie said something to me I didn't quite process before she injected a needle into the crease of my arm, making my body stiffen as she started to fill up an IV bag.

She did the same to Daryl and waited for the bags to refill. Rick stood beside me with a hand on my shoulder, telling Carl to get more bandages as the shouting turned into low whispers.

Everything around me was a giant blur, then. My body was completely paralyzed from the events; that was absolutely no help to anyone, so I tried to make myself snap out of it as quickly as possible.

I began to wonder if this is what Rick had felt like when he had lost Lori, or when Carl had been shot by Otis. Senseless, blurry - numb. I didn't doubt it at all.

Everyone who had been working on Lillian suddenly began to hold her body down, which seemed odd to me. I grew defensive and stood up, trying to process what exactly they were doing to her.

Her body was jolting violently as she tried to gasp for air. Her eyes were open and darting around the room, trying to make sense of things. My throat swelled up once again as I watched helplessly, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it from happening.

"She's okay." Hershel calmed me down. "Muscle spasms. At least we know her spinal cord wasn't hit."

Then, she stopped moving completely. Hershel grabbed her wrist and held still for a few seconds before he began to pump on her chest simultaneously.

"Is she-" I choked back the tears, feeling like I was going to vomit.

No one answered me, fearing I'd react negatively before they had a chance to do anything. Hershel started performing CPR on her, which went on for a couple of minutes before he stopped.

"She's alive." He took a deep breath, clearly relived that she was. I laughed nervously, sitting back down as Maggie attached another IV bag to the needle and tube in my arm.

I sat, watching the bag fill up with my blood in mere minutes. The deep red shade was so violent toward my eyes, but somehow I couldn't look away.

"What about...and the baby?" I asked quietly. Hershel took a deep breath.

"Not sure, yet."

It was hard to realize that just this morning, we had been talking to one another about future plans. Now, hours later, she was laying on a table drenched in her own blood.

I looked down at my hands and clothes, realizing they were covered in her blood as well.

"This should be okay for now." Maggie motioned toward the four bags of fresh blood she had taken from Daryl and I. She then walked back to the table, hooking one up to an IV that had been stuck into Lillian's arm.

"You should get washed up, now." Rick crouched down in front of me, staring directly at my face. I shook my head at his suggestion, motioning my hand toward Lillian.

"No, no, no, I - I have to stay here. If they need more blood-"

"We can all provide some." Rick grabbed onto my arm to help me upward.

I stood up with his help, feeling myself get light headed from the blood that was now missing from my body.

"Take a shower, Axel got them up and running days ago." Rick took the gun from my hands and set it on the table. "We can handle it. She's going to be okay. Hershel saved Carl, who's to say he can't save Lillian?"

I nodded slowy, taking one last look at Lillian as Rick led me away from the lobby. He opened the door for me, watching as I walked away from the room before returning to help. I was alone in the hallway, completely losing my mind silently.

It was decided that I would take a shower, but not before I grabbed something on my way there. A nice little hobby of mine was to drink whiskey when something bad happens, which used to be every day when I was on the force.

Apparently it was okay for me to do it, considering the circumstances. This was quite possibly the worst feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, and I just wanted it to stop as soon as possible.

Doing this would help it, but only temporarily. It was never a permanent solution for my problems, but enough of the alcohol could help blur out my surroundings.

I poked into the cafeteria for a brief moment, grabbing one of the bottles I had taken from a house when Lillian and I went to search for a rendezvous site. It was her idea to do so, and she'd be happy to know it was being put to good use now.

Maybe it wasn't what she intended it for, but it was still a pleasant idea to me.

I then headed off toward the showers, taking my time as I unscrewed the cap from the bottle in my hand. I took a long swig of the bitter drink and winced, feeling the alcohol burn the back of my throat as I swallowed.

I started to strip off my blood soaked clothing, occasionally taking sips of the whiskey in my grasp as I slammed a button on the wall in front of me.

Water started to pour out, splashing me in the face. I began to wash the blood and dirt from my body as my mind trekked back to the dying woman in the cell block.

I could feel my heart beating as the anxiety grew. The silent room I was getting drunk in made me uncomfortable, but that would soon fade away with the more alcohol I drank.

<><><>

After a while of soaking myself in water in order to wash the blood away, I finally got out of the shower and put some clothing on.

I was sitting in the cell Lillian and I shared, which was far away from the others, thankfully. I had almost drank the whole bottle of whiskey when Rick made his way toward me.

He seemed disappointed for some reason, and I soon realized why.

"You look like shit." He scowled at me. I couldn't help but laugh at him, which only seemed to make him more angry with me. I'm sure he was right about the way I looked, but at this point I couldn't give a shit.

"Feel like shit." I grunted.

"Hershel is stitching Lillian up, she's still unconscious." He began to explain the medical state she was in. Everything he said went over my head at the moment, which only made me feel worse.

"Where she at?" I asked, sitting up on the bed. Rick crouched down beside me and began to take the bottle of whiskey out of my hands. I let it go and watched as he grabbed my face, closing my eyes as I tried to regulate my breathing from the sudden movement.

"She's in there unconscious, and your first idea is to drink yourself blind?"

I pulled back from his grasp, almost hitting my head on the wall behind where I was sitting.

"Man, don't start that shit." I slurred, trying to brush him off. I didn't need some sort of lecture from him right now, I just wanted to see Lillian.

"You need to hear this from me, now. You need to get your shit together, Shane. Sooner or later you're gonna be a father, and you need to take responsibility for the things you've done. Think before you do shit, and find out the consequences."

"You can't sit there and tell me that." I laughed directly in his face. "Says the-the man who makes every decision around here. Bad, good, doesn't matter."

"It's more than you've done." Rick retorted. He stood up and began to walk away from the cell, taking the half-drank bottle of whiskey with him.

I sat back in the bed and watched him leave without another word to me. I kicked the wall in a fit of anger and tried standing up, but was unable to.

What's become of me? The mother of my unborn child is bleeding out on a table and I'm washing away the guilt with a bottle of whiskey.

"Shit." I choked out. A lump was forming in my throat, trying to coax a set of tears to fall from my eyes again. Was it possible to be worn out, exhausted even, just from crying multiple times in a day?

I could hear a pair of footsteps thumping down the hallway toward where I was. I assumed it was Rick again, but boy, was I wrong.

"What the hell are you doing?" Daryl set his crossbow down on the ground beside the doorway. I didn't bother to look at him.

"Here to give me a lecture, too?" I asked bitterly. He scoffed.

"No. Lemme tell ya' somethin', though." He began. "That girl out there, she ain't gettin' any better. You, me, Rick - we needa go to a clinic. She needs meds, ain't got none here. Or are you too shitfaced?"

I sat up on the bed, rubbing my puffed up eyes before looking to him. I probably shouldn't have accepted the offer to go, but this was Lillian's life on the line, here.

"You look like shit." Daryl shook his head, clearly disappointed at me. I didn't care, though. Didn't spend my days trying to impress a redneck squirrel hunter, anyway.

"Thanks."

"Get yourself pulled together, man. She's gonna need some sort of miracle to get through this shit storm."

"Can you... stop reminding me." I lowered my voice, trying my best not to lose my temper. Lillian had asked me to work on that weeks ago; it's a wonder I still remembered.

Daryl just shrugged and picked up his crossbow again. I started following him into the common room where people were getting patched up by Hershel, most of which were Virgil's people.

Rick was giving a pep talk of some sort, applauding the ones who had fought and trying to mourn the ones who didn't survive, such as Cole. I didn't dare look outside; it was probably a massacre of dead bodies.

"As soon as possible, we need to close the fences and clear out the bodies. You're probably getting tired of it, but this will be the last time. From now on, we will not make anymore enemies."

I knew that was bullshit, and so did he. Rick would say anything just to get these people off of his back, which is what he was doing right now with that sorry excuse of a speech.

As soon as he spotted Daryl and I, Rick abandoned talking to everyone and met with us. Specifically, he glared at me.

"I'm driving." He pushed passed me. I nodded and followed along with the two men, hoping not to make Rick pissed off anymore than he already was.

At this point, I wasn't on either of their good sides, which didn't really phase me as much as they intended it to. I've made enough enemies of my own to know what it feels like to be given the cold shoulder.

I turned my head back, trying to find where Lillian was at now. According to Daryl, they moved her into a private cell instead of in the middle of the common room on a table.

I was relieved that she was getting the help she desperately needed, but the guilt was bubbling up in my stomach. This all could've been prevented if I just killed Philip the first time I had gotten bad attitude from him.

Maybe then Lillian wouldn't have wound up half dead on a metal table in the middle of a prison, surrounded by walkers and dead bodies.

Then again, if it weren't for Philip, we wouldn't have found Rick and the others. I keep trying to tell myself that fate is on our side, but judging from recent events, I was completely wrong about that.

Maybe we would've been better off living on our own, away from everyone else. Lillian and I could've had our own family, our own life to control.

The only thing that should be on my mind right now is getting her the meds she needs. Nothing was going to stop me from doing that, I can assure you.

This is something I could promise, and try my best to keep true.


	30. All In Vain

I still felt like shit when we got to the clinic that Daryl had been going on about earlier. I had never seen it on my way going anywhere, but I guess that was because I never paid close enough attention to my surroundings while driving.

My head was spinning as the whiskey started to ware off. I was still able to function, but my head had just started to ache badly as Rick stopped the car abruptly.

To be honest, today was an absolute shit day. By far, today was the day all of my morals had been flushed down the toilet, along with what little care I had to stay alive.

If Lillian were to die, I'm almost sure that I'd be more careless with what I did. Grief would strike on me, and I'd use every opportunity I was handed to die. It was that way when Rick came back in Atlanta, and Lori was hostile with me.

I then remembered that Rick, nor Lillian, knew of what we had been up to. I couldn't imagine the uprising Rick would bring, and Lillian would just become depressed.

I worried about her so much. She probably thought I was annoying because of it, but little did she know I blamed myself for everything bad in her life.

She probably would have been better off going with her two friends back at that highway a year ago instead of hitching a ride to the farm with us. I couldn't remember their names for the life of me, but I'm sure she would if I were to ask.

Lillian had a knack for remembering names and faces. It was almost surprising to me how many faces she could store in her memory.

"Maybe you should stay in the car." Rick suggested, turning off the engine as we pulled up to a large, vacant building. I assumed it was the clinic.

"No, man. I gotta help, okay?" I rubbed my eyes, blinking a few times to rid my sight of an abundance of blurryness. Daryl scoffed at me; that seems to be the one thing he was able to do.

"You're still drunk." Rick pulled out a gun, loading it with bullets before we went inside.

"I'm not drunk." I snapped at him, picking up my own gun from the seat beside me. "Just... tired."

"Sure." Daryl shrugged. "And I'm gonna find a bunch o' chupacabras down in Mexico."

Rick shot him a look, to which Daryl just chuckled at.

"I don't think you should use a gun, then." Rick sighed deeply and fished around for something in a backpack.

"I'm tellin' ya, man, I just gotta get a move on." I opened the door and got out, followed by Rick and Daryl. I started to stretch out my arms, trying to prove I was fit to carry a gun.

"Gimme it, man. You won't need, this place is cleared out, anyway. Group of Virgil's men took care of it."

I wasn't sure if he was lying to me or not, but I finally gave up and shoved the gun into his hands. He decided to give me a knife instead, but it just wasn't the same.

"You ready?" Daryl asked us, already making his way towards the doors that had been busted in ages ago.

"Sure, man." I nodded my head and shadowed the two men, trying not to act as if I had no idea what was going on. I raised my eyebrows, rubbing the tiredness away from my eyes as we stepped inside of the building.

It was somewhat clean. There were wheelchairs tipped over beside the door, and a few papers scattered across the floor, but that seemed to be the worst of it from where I was standing.

Im sure the actual hospital rooms were worse, or maybe better. We'd only know if we find out, right?

"What we lookin' for?" I asked, taking a pamphlet from a cubby on the wall beside where I stood. I leaned against the doorway and started to read it, tracking the different room numbers and the pharmacy.

"Oxycodone, Fentanyl, Aspirin, Ibuprofen. Pain relievers, and anything else you can find. We'll hit the pharmacy, should be some there. If not, we'll go somewhere else." Rick took a pamphlet as well, and began to walk away down a hall.

Daryl and I trailed behind, glancing over the rooms that happened to be open as we walked. They weren't as dirty as I assumed, but they weren't exactly clean either.

The beds were set at an awkward angle in front of the doors, but that seemed to be the only thing out of place.

"It's on the second floor." Rick sighed as we neared a pair of stairs.

"This place has seen better days." Daryl whistled, kicking over a trashcan. "Looks like a hurricane ran through here."

I tried to wrap my head around what was going on, but everything just went back to Lillian. It was hell being here, this far away from her, while she was unconscious.

Daryl was right about the hurricane part. The pharmacy was ransacked; shelves were pushed to the ground along with empty pill bottles that had scattered onto the floor.

I don't blame the people who did it. Hell, I would've taken what I could, too, if I knew what was comin' this far into the outbreak.

"Well, just find what you can." Rick mumbled under his breath. I started to pick up shelves in case anything was trapped underneath. To my surprise, there was.

"Shit." Daryl shrugged off the dismembered hand that was on the ground and started looking elsewhere.

I took a closer look at the hand, kicking it slightly with my foot to see it better. There was a ring on one of the fingers, and I noticed it was a left hand.

My mood instantly dropped into the ocean, but I didn't let it phase me much. I scrunched up my nose and bent downward, picking it up.

I made sure Rick and Daryl were distracted before I did so, which they were. I slid the gold ring off of one of the fingers and stared at it, examining the jewel creased into the metal.

I stuffed the ring into my pocket and stood up before the others got suspicious of what I was doing. I began to look through different drawers, pulling out bottles of useless pills.

Now all I had to do was find another ring.

Rick had already found a few things, but he wanted to find other supplies as well. I just wanted to leave; the sooner we got back to the prison, the better.

"I'm gonna go hang out downstairs. Sit down a while." I turned away, feeling my leg flare up in pain.

"Why're you limping?" Rick asked, tilting his head. I laughed nervously and shrugged.

"Must've... hurt it when we were fightin'."

"How bad?" Daryl chimed in.

I was completely fine, there wasn't a need to worry. We just needed to get these supplies and get back home.

"Who cares? I'm okay. I'll be downstairs, alright?"

They dropped the subject and stepped out of my way, watching as I limped down the stairs with as much haste as I had in me.

I fell into a couch, leaning my head back on it as I fished the gold ring from my pocket. Why did I even have this?

It reminded me so much of Lillian. She would always stop to stare at the jewelry when we went out to get supplies. I never knew why she didn't take any of it; there's literally no laws about stealing things as of now, which means she wouldn't be stealing.

I never asked about it, either.

As much as I loved Lillian, I began to wonder if marrying someone in this day and age would be a good idea. Maybe it was better, considering we could die any day.

Make every day count, I suppose.

"You ready?" Daryl nudged me, causing my eyes to open. I rubbed my face for a few seconds before nodding.

"Yeah, man. Yeah."

Rick held me back in the building as Daryl began to load the car up. He waited until he was out of ear shot and began to wail on me.

"I get that there's a rough patch right now, but goddammit, Shane. You can't drown yourself in liquor all your life when something bad happens."

I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath as I had to endure his speech again. I learned my lesson already, couldn't he drop it?

"Alright, I get it." I agreed, hoping that was the end of it.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, Rick. No more screwing around; affirmative. I got shit to do, can we get back?"

"Yeah, we can. Don't get drunk again-"

"Or what, Rick? Whatcha gonna do to me? You gonna exile me from the prison? Take away my greencard? There's a line here,"

"What's that, Shane? The line?" He yelled, pushing my body backward outside. I laughed at him. "Bottom line is you're an alcoholic. Did it at the CDC, the farm, here - that's not gonna solve your problems, brother."

"Oh, horse shit, man. Don't give me that alcoholic crap. You know damn well I'm able to take care of my own damn self, alright?" I yelled at him.

Daryl stood back, watching us fight over practically nothing. He didn't want to come between us for some reason; that was probably a smart idea on his end.

"Haven't been doing a good job lately, huh? Look at yourself, man. It's a wonder your temper hasn't scared off Lillian." His face fell to the ground. Rick shook his head back and forth.

"Shane, I didn't-"

Just as he had predicted, my anger got the best of me. I brought my fist back and slammed it into him, square in the jaw.

This was when Daryl intervened. He pushed me backwards, aiming his crossbow at me as I stared at Rick.

Rick was on the ground, looking up at me. He didn't seem to be hurt too badly, which was a relief, believe it or not.

"You done?" I looked to Daryl as he put his crossbow down. 

"You guy's are fuckin' crazy." Daryl shook his head at us. I nodded, turning back to Rick before holding my hand out to him.

He immediately took it and hoisted himself upward, dusting off his clothes. I could imagine what Lillian would've said to what had just happened.

Something along the lines of, "that's it? You're all buddy-buddy now?" Followed by a "men are weird" comment.

"Sorry, brother." I apologized, just in case he was petty about me hitting him. Although I had a good reason to, I didn't want any bad blood.

Rick shrugged and dug into his pocket for something. He held out his hand, revealing another gold wedding ring.

"Don't think I don't notice things." He smiled at me and walked toward the car.

I felt slightly embarrassed, but took the ring anyway. They were only similar in color, but there's no possible way for me to find a matching set of wedding rings at a time like this.

Let's just hope Lillian accepts the offer.

<><><><>

As soon as we unloaded all of the supplies into the cell block, I decided to go see Lillian. Hershel said she was still unconscious, but that wouldn't stop me from visiting her.

I held Lillian's hand tightly, leaning down to plant a kiss on the back of it. I could feel my throat swell up, and my face begin to grow warm. Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at her, realizing I could've prevented this somehow.

She looked like she was in pain, but I couldn't really tell at that point. Her chest rose up and fell back down rhythmically, which gave me a slight dosage of relief.

"Lillian." I managed to croak out in between tears. "I don't... I don't know if you can hear me right now but I just..."

Her hand twitched, and I couldn't help but stare at it. I didn't know what that meant, but it seemed like a good sign.

I looked downward at her face, which had blood stains on each cheek, and dirt covering her body. Even then, to me, she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life.

Lillian was quite possibly the only woman I've let this far into my life. Before the outbreak, there had just been girlfriends and different one night stands. But, now, there was something growing in my chest as I thought about every moment we've had together.

This girl had me wrapped around her fingers; completely devoted to her well-being. 

"You gotta be strong for me. For the baby. And everyone here, your family. We're gonna build up the fences again, clean out the bodies. We'll, uh, move Virgil's people in a few days, soon as we get things goin' again."

I was rambling now, trying to talk her into waking up. I just wanted to hear her voice again; hear her laugh, see the smile on her face when I told a stupid story about my days being a deputy.

"I love you. I need you to know that, and I'm sure you already do but I should tell you every day. I need to tell you every day. How beautiful you are, even with blood on your face." I chuckled at myself, looking back at her.

The bandages on her chest were starting to turn red, meaning blood had begun to soak through them. I wiped away a tear from my face and started to talk to Lillian once again.

"How you make my day better by just being alive. Shit, I couldn't possibly live without you. I don't wanna end up hating every day because you're gone, that's no way to live. You just - you make me melt under your touch, y'know? Everytime you look at me, my heart starts beatin' like some schoolboy back in third grade."

Her hand twitched again. I gripped it tighter and felt myself tear up. It was okay to cry, I remember she told me that. Didn't make me weak, or any less of a man; it made me, shit, what was the word? I think she said "desirable" by her standards.

I didn't know what else to say to her, which was eating at my gut. There were millions of things I had felt then, but I couldn't put them into words.

Other than hatred, anger, and sadness, my mind was practically numb from emotions.

My eyes trailed over to the pair of handcuffs on her other hand. She was chained to the bed, just in case she would turn into a walker.

I dug into my pocket and took out one of the rings, staring at it for a few moments.

"You get pull through," I whispered, taking her hand up into my own carefully. "Then I'm gonna marry you."

I slid the gold ring onto her finger and kissed her hand, using my shirt to wipe away the sweat from my forehead. Now the only thing left to do was help her get through this.


	31. Future Plans

(Lillian's POV)

It was sunny outside, which was blinding to me as Shane and I were on a blanket. Laying back, he and I watched as a two little girls ran around the field, chasing one another in a game of tag.

They couldn't have been any older than seven or eight. Shane was holding onto my hand, smiling at me.

"Where'd you go?" He asked calmly, running his hand down the side of my face sensually. I smiled weakly, slightly confused at where I was at.

"I'm here." I nodded, looking down at our entwined fingers. I started to notice the matching rings we were wearing, symbolizing that we were still together.

Were we married?

The scars on Shane's face were no longer there, and I began to wonder if the bruises on my own face were gone as well. There didn't seem to be any pain radiating from my body, but I wasn't too sure.

Shane looked back to the two little girls as they ran around us, tapping eachother on the shoulders. I sat up on the blanket and looked around at where we were at.

The prison's field. It was covered in green grass and wild flowers, which was odd to me. The grass was usually patchy and dull, so I wondered what made it flourish as such.

Maggie and Glenn were only a few feet away from us, on their own blanket. Maggie seemed to be sewing something, and Glenn was just enjoying the sunshine as I had been.

Rick was tending to a garden he had started ages ago, that was still growing perfectly, along with Hershel.

Carl and Beth were talking to one another, laughing out loud as they joked. I could see that Beth was making a chain of flowers, handing it off to Carl with a smile.

It all seemed like some sort of mini paradise, but I knew it was too good to be true. Nothing in this new, disease-ridden world could be this perfect.

"Judith, Emily, be careful." Shane warned as they sat on the slope of the hill, following along to what Beth was doing. They picked flowers together and stuck then in one another's hair.

Who's Emily?

I looked toward Shane, my husband, staring at the five o'clock shadow on the lower half of his face as he watched the two girls.

"Baby, show your mom what you made." Shane held my hand as one of the girls, Emily, stood up happily.

She handed a messy chain of flowers to me, helping me place it atop my head as an accessory.

"Here, mama. Just for you!" She kissed my cheek and began to laugh, looking towards Shane.

I was completely dumbfounded, realizing what was going on now. Emily was my daughter?

I had to be dreaming all of this, nothing that was happening could possibly be real. For some reason, I couldn't even remember giving birth to her, or having weddings rings.

It was all in my head and I felt so stupid for thinking any of this was real, or could possibly happen.

Was I dead? Is this what the afterlife looked like; your happiest fantasies and make-believe memories come to life? It was highly doubtful, but I rested my head on Shane's shoulder as I tried to calm down.

"Thank you," I smiled at Emily, looking away as she returned to the grassy spot beside Judith.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cole. He was smiling and happy, and was making his way over toward the two little girls. I could hear them talking. 

"You gonna make somethin' for your uncle, or give all the presents to your parents, kiddo?"

I heard Emily laugh at him.

"Uncle Cole, I'll make you something, too!" She started to pick more flowers from their roots. Emily tied the stems together hastily and handed the trinket to my brother, who gladly snatched the gift in excitement.

He grinned widely and kissed the top of her head, looking towards me. His expression became mean and serious as we met eyes with each other.

"How you holdin' up? Being unconscious can mess with your head, y'know." He twirled a flower between his index finger and thumb, letting it fall to the ground.

"This isn't real." I whispered to Shane. He laughed at me, giving a certain remark that made me question what was happening.

"Of course it is. You runnin' a fever, hun?" He jokingly rested the back of his hand on my forehead, acting as if it were a searing hot stove. I chuckled lightly, brushing off the uncomfortable feeling lingering in my chest.

"Cole is dead... I saw him die. This isn't real."

"Ah, you'll get used to it, being here." Shane pulled me into a hug, letting me lay on his chest.

I knitted my eyebrows together, looking up at him. What did he just say to me?

"Get used to being where?"

"Unconscious." He shrugged, acting as if I were the dumb one. 

What was I to say to something like that? Did that mean I was in a coma, or dying?

"What?" My chest tightened, and I could feel my adrenaline rushing through my depleted veins.

"Hey, hey, hey - don't worry, baby,  okay. We're together, right?"

"No, this isn't right."

I was questioning my sanity, and I seemed to be losing a never ending battle with my mind as it spun in circles. Shane rubbed my back softly.

"Nothin' to worry about."

How could he say that? Whatever it was that was happening to me, I didn't like it at all. It made my head hurt just thinking about what my next move would be.

Was I really unconscious, or was I dead already?


End file.
